Dating at Midlife

Midlife: What’s First? writes Carla Herra and she makes some good points.

I direct you also to my dating coaching (www.susandunn.cc/internetdatingcoach.htm) and my ebook, DATING SUCCESS MANUAL FOR WOMEN. www.webstrategies.cc/ebooklibrary.html for greater guidance and clarification.

From the article:

More American women over 45 are single, than ever before. According to the latest population surveys, someone turns 50 every 8 seconds in the U.S. and more than half of that figure is female. According to Christian Science Monitor writer, Marilyn Gardner, To newly minted singles coming out of long marriages, the prospect of dating can be daunting. At the initial phase of dating, the boomer woman may want to ask herself, why date? In other words, what is the objective?

In 2003, AARP conducted a study asking participants why they dated and found the single most important…reason…is to have someone to talk to or do things with. This reason accounted for almost half of the singles in the study. One woman from an email group didnt agree. If these two reasons were the only reason for a woman to date it might be less complicated if she ran around with another woman instead of a man. She wouldn’t have to worry about giving the guy the wrong signals.

If I dated a guy it would also be because I found him sexually attractive, she said.

Other reasons from the study included: to have fun, find a partner, find someone to marry and to fulfill sexual needs.

Understanding why you want to date is an important first step in the
process. This gives you a clear objective and eliminates unnecessary time spent in relationships that have nothing to do with your objective.

In addition to dating motivations, the new single should consider what type of relationship they want. Susan Dunn, EQ coach of Momentum Coaching asks, Companionship without commitment? Is that with or without sex? Do you want long-term and sex? Is that with or without commitment? Friend with benefits? Benefits without friendship? Marriage? Is that marriage with or without fidelity? Once you know what you want, you can learn to ask for what you want. Dont be shy when you begin dating, the time (and heart) you save is your own. Knowing when youre ready to date is just as important as why. Generally, experience and distance from relationships gives a person not just a needed break, but also some insight into their motivations and what they need from a relationship.

Carla Herrera is a freelance writer and I'm pleased to see myself quoted in her article.

For midlife dating coaching, contact me at sdunn@susandunn.cc .

Handling the Stress of the Holidays

The holidays - how they stir up our emotions. We have memories, fantasies, heartbreak, and other times to work through.

The more you feel like pressing an "agenda" right now, the better it is to table it and just get through this time period. Most of us are carrying more of a load than normal, and also more apt to feel emotionally pressured about things.

Keep your expectations about the holidays in line with reality. In fact the less you expect (demand), the more likely you are to have a great holiday.

Call me for a consultation if you need to let off the steam, vent, or form a strategic plan. Coaching can give you the necessary perspective on what's going on and how to handle it.

New Year's is the time when we all make our reslutions again, and it's a great time for planning and reaching goals.

Want to Get Her Back

The holiday season kicks up our emotions. It's a time when many men find they let someone go who they really loved. If you're alone for the holidays and wishing you were with that someone special, you need a startegic plan for getting her back.

It isn't as hard as it seems, if you do it right. The most important thing is that you were attracted once. Chances are cirumstances, or your behavior, or a misunderstanding got in the way. How do you correct this?

I can coach you through it. Email me at sdunn@susandunn.cc . One thing to keep in mind is that she will be thinking, "Why should I go back to him?" You have to think this through, from her point of view, and then address it. There are also key phrases if, spoken from the heart, sincerely, and at the right time, can make the difference.

Email me for a consultation at sdunn@susandunn.cc . I like to see lovers reunited.

Heart Attacks at the Holidays

Free mini coaching sessions - email me at sdunn@susandunn.cc to schedule yours and mention this blog!

Did you read the article on smnbc about about the increase heart attack risk during the holidays? You can read the full article here: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22084747/

From the article:

A particularly heavy meal, especially a high-fat one, stresses the heart as it is digested. Blood pressure and heart rate increase. There's even evidence that the lining of arteries becomes temporarily more clot-prone.

There are also emotional expreiences that come on like a "particularly heavy meal".

So watch your diet during the holidays, including your EMOTIONAL diet. There are things you can do to alleviate the stress, and things you can do that will make it worse.

Email me for free mini session - sdunn@susandunn.cc .