Monday, January 30, 2006

Single for the Holidays


"Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons, and you will find that it is to the soul what the water bath is to the body."

~Oliver Wendell Holmes

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susan dunn, ma
210.496.0678
www.susandunn.cc
Club Vivo Per Lei/I Live for Music
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WISH I'D THOUGHT OF THIS: To counteract "the most depressing day of the year," noW there is "Belly Laugh Day." Because the most depressing day of the year is the one in which you don't laugh. Check it out and be ready for January 2007: www.bellylaughday.com

Sunday, January 29, 2006

Romance and Happy Marriage Myths

ROMANCE AND HAPPY MARRIAGE MYTHS

This is such a nice little article. What goes around comes around!
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The institution of marriage is surrounded by a number of myths,stories and advice freely offered by people on a daily basis.

Unfortunately, many people listen to and believe these pieces of so-called wisdom to the point where it doesn't help their marriage and it only hinders its growth.

Many of the myths regarding relationships are incredibly damaging and it is unfortunate that they are such common beliefs. Once you understand why certain bits of advice or information can be regarded as myths, you can break through what could be blocking the growth of your marriage.

In fact, you may actually learn to appreciate your spouse and your role in your marriage even more.

Sensationalist television, magazines and talk radio have been key players when it comes to fueling any belief that there is a battle between the sexes happening.

While there are definitively some physical and psychological differences, they are not enough to earn the term 'battle' as a description.

When you allow yourself to consider any kind of battle between the sexes, you risk grouping all men or all women into a certain category and that leads to Stereotyping.

Once you recognize that your partner is a unique individual with a number of positive attributes, you can shed the thought that there should be any type of conflict between the two of you.

Any thought of battle or conflict only leads to lack of communication, misunderstandings and discourages growth in any relationship.

Nice guys finish last is one of the worst possible sayings floating around today.

Whoever thought of that and actually uttered those words must have been feeling truly low and full of self-pity because there simply cannot be any other explanation. Nice guys never finish last.

They may have a longer and harder road sometimes, but it isn't often that you see the bullies and jerks finishing first. If they aren't, who is? It's the nice guys, but they are so nice and gracious you don't hear them bragging about it.

It is also important to note that the word 'nice' doesn't mean 'weak' or ' effeminate' in any way. Nice means socially or conventionally correct; refined or virtuous and not at all negative in any way.

Nice is not another word for push over or spineless. Nice is as close to a 'perfect' man as you can come and they always end up first in line.

Romance is all you need in order to save your relationship is a wonderfully optimistic thought, but not quite accurate.

If simple romance were enough to save a marriage, it would be running wonderfully rampant throughout the world today. Unfortunately, it takes more than simple romance.

If you truly feel love for your spouse and you are expressing it through romance, then it will save your marriage. If you are trying to use romance to buy some time or to placate your spouse, then you are only buying time or placating your spouse.

Your time as a married couple is most likely limited and should be attended to immediately by a professional.

About The Author: How to Easily Transform a Miserable, Lifeless Marriage Relationship into One Filled With Love, Happiness, and Excitement - Just Visit:
marriage-problems.
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What can you do to enhance your marriage and your life? Look better and feel better with emotional intelligence and ARBONNE products. They have pure, natural ingredients. Nutraceuticals, cosmetics, anti-aging skincare, sunscreen, baby products (NO mineral oil), weight loss (NO ephedra)and more. Learn more about EQ here.

Saturday, January 28, 2006

Dating Tips-How to Meet New People

DATING TIPS: HOW TO MEET NEW PEOPLE. GETTING OUT.

There is a saying that claims that you can meet the love of your life everywhere. Even in line in the supermarket, or in a gas station. This is basically true, with just one condition: that you are everywhere.

In order to meet new people you need, for a start, to be around people. You have to get out of your home/office and start interacting. This, of course, doesn't mean that you have to start wearing your best outfit every time you take out the garbage, but it would certainly help to give a quick glance in the mirror before you leave the house and make sure that your hair isn't raging and that there are no leftovers from lunch stuck between your teeth.

Ok, now that you are out, you can start looking. In other words: keep your eyes open. Don't stare at people, and don't give creepy looks to young innocent children, but just look around to explore the world around you.

You might wonder how exactly you can find a relationship this way. Well, once you are open towards the beauties of world, the world opens up to you too. If you don't shut yourself up (with your cell phone, walkman, or even sunglasses) and pay Attention to everything that surrounds you, you will notice fascinating Opportunities that might eventually lead you to even greater
things, and one of those things can be your one true love. (You may also find a new job, come across a new hobby, and make a significant amount of new friends along the way - that is not so bad too.)

The key is openness. Not only keeping your eyes open, but your mind as well. Don't disqualify unfamiliar things before you check them, don't judge every stranger that sits next to you in the bus station in the most severe manner. Welcome all the
beauty and the wanders of the world that surrounds you and you will be surprised to find out the richness it has to offer.

About The Author: Find out reviews of the best online dating services on - ONLINE DATING . Find more precious information about dating here.
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Valentine Resources

VALENTINE'S DAY IS COMING ... ARE YOU PREPARED? Here are some resources for you.

Article about Single Parents on Valentine's Day

Is music the most important part of a romantic Valentine's celebration? You be the judge. Check out the romantic classical music selections and opera** at Club Vivo Per Lei / I Live for Music romantic music to set the mood. Join Club Vivo. It's free.

**Opera has been around longer than most institutions. Are you curious to know why?

Check out The Top 11 Valentine Gifts. You may find some surprises here.

Looking for Last Minute Valentine Gifts. Jewelry, massages oils, flowers and the like.

Now here's something everyone can use. Learn it now, for when that relationship you've been looking for comes your way. Take the 10 Weeks to A Better Relationship Course It's free.

They say: "This is a step-by-step course that can help the two of you enhance your marriage relationship. Find out why expectations and myths can harm your marriage. Learn how to fight fairly. Check out ways to celebrate your coupleness. Watch movies together. Take the 90-day dialogue challenge. This is a ten-week course, delivered once each week."

You-know-what always needs to be surrounded with plain pure love and affection. Read my ebook How to Sensualize Your Relationship and be prepared next time.
==========
DID YOU KNOW THAT YOUR HEALTH IS YOUR GREATEST ROMANTIC ASSET?

Get yourself in the best shape possible, with Arbonne nutraceuticals, cosmetics. anti-aging skin care, lotions and shaving cream, all made with pure, natural ingredients which will not add toxins to your life. Do you need more? No mineral oil, no ephedra. No obnoxious scents unless specifically aromatherapy.

I take DefenseBuilder anti-oxidant. Go here to read about it and order.

Thursday, January 26, 2006

Is there Bullying in Deputy Prime Minister John Prescott's Office (UK)?

BULLYING IS SUCH AN UGLY THING. It's especially hard when you're single, and come home to an empty house, or your beloved children, but no adult support.

Le mobbing est un poison lent
Mobbing ist ein leises Gift Zuletzt geändert
The Germans and the French call it "the slow poison."

“Mobbing can be understood as the stressor to beat all stressors,” says Dr. Kenneth Westhaus, U. of Waterloo, author of “Eliminating Professors.” According to him, the typical mob victim is a good-to-high achiever personally invested in a formally secure job who somehow threatens or shames co--workers or managers who then decide to get rid of him or her.

However, bullying is complex, and there are other reasons.

I coach clients on mobbing and bullying, both the abused, and the managers who are trying to identify it early and get rid of it. In my experience, it is often the best workers, serious people, introverts, just plain nice people. When it rears its ugly head, it upsets other workers, demoralizes, demeans, lowers productivity, causes lack of focus, raises stress, and causes increased illness, absenteeism and "presenteeism."

At the human level, it's wrong, wrong to treat people that way. At the corporate level, it can lead to exposure, and if the reputation is established cause current good employees to leave (wouldn't you?) and drive good applicants away. Word gets around, you know. As I was explaining to an HR manager the other day, "No, it is not a 'just get over it' kind of thing."

Has it happened to you? Is it happening to you now? Why does it happen? Read my article, Mobbing & Bullying in the Workplace: Has This Happened to You?

We believe, along with bullying.org that "Everyone has the right to be respected and the responsiblity to respect others."

Read my ebook: "Mobbing, Bullying and What to Do About It"

Today from BBC -- MPs on the committee which covers the work of the Office of the Deputy Prime Minister (OPDM) in the UK are demanding action after Deputy PM John Prescott's department was accused of bullying, with one in 10 workers claiming to have been victimised in the past year.

22% say they've witness unfair behavior.

FROM THE ARTICLE:

"The survey results were revealed in the annual report and accounts of the ODPM, which covers housing, planning, local government and the regions.

"The department should take steps immediately to reinforce the message that bullying and intimidation is unacceptable

"ODPM COMMITTEE REPORT

"The survey found 10% of staff felt they had been bullied in the past year, 8% had experienced discrimination and 6% reported harassment.

"Some 22% of staff had witnessed unfair treatment and a larger proportion of black or black British staff (14%) had experienced discrimination than other staff.

"The survey also found disabled people were more likely to have suffered discrimination and revealed that a third of staff did not know how to report unfair treatment."

The UK and European Union are definitely ahead in the area of bullying and mobbing. There is even a clinic in German that deals exclusively with victims of mobbing and bullying.

To read the whole article go here.

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If this is happening to you and you would like some coaching, please give me a call at 210-496-0678 or email me at sdunn@susandunn.cc . When someone's being mobbed or bullied, you can't think straight - that's part of the strategy. It helps to have an objective person to help give clarification and strategy, someone who's in your corner.

Resources & Information:

jfo.org.uk

Stop Bullying Now
=====
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Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Want to Write a Book?

As a single, you probably have a fascinating life. This is a great article about publishing and writing books.


More people every day want to write a book. This article is full of information about book writing and the industry of selling books.

Interview with Penguin Publisher
by Sharif Khan

Mr. David Davidar began his career in journalism and is founder of Penguin Books India. Currently, he is Publisher of Penguin Canada and also is author of the novel, The House of Blue Mangoes.

How did you first get started in the publishing business?

Twenty years ago I was working in Bombay and there was a colleague I knew who had done a publishing course at Harvard. And she said, "Why don't you go there and check it out?" So I came to the States, and I did the course, and at the course was Peter
Mayer, Chairman of Penguin world-wide. He said, "Look you're from India?" (I said "yeah"). He said he was thinking of starting a company in India and asked me, "Would you like to run it?"

I was then twenty-six years old, I'd never done a publishing company in my life, I had little or no idea, but when you're twenty-six years old sometimes you're foolishly confident about your abilities, so I said "yes." I went to Delhi where the office was going to be and I had never been there before, starting from Cambridge, Massachusetts to Delhi - and there was nothing there. There were exactly 3 employees in the first year of operations and they invested ten thousand US dollars in the company in 1986. And that was it... Now Penguin India is Asia's largest English
publishing company and has done over 10 million dollars in sales. It was quite an interesting experience and I had a ball! It kept growing and growing. It's so fascinating... Now every multinational is in India. Penguin was the first.

What project are you particularly proud of as a publisher?

The fact of having created this company (Penguin India). We publish 200 books a year in India in the English language now. We've started publishing in 4 or 5 languages other than English (the first time Penguin has published in any other languages) and
will be 25 years old in five years. Its just been a win-win situation because when we started, it coincided with the boom in Indians becoming global superstars like Vikram Seth, Arundathi Roy, and Upamanyu Chaterji, etc., etc., etc... The whole lot... so it is the #1 company by a long stretch and so that is my greatest pride because I started out as an editor but am now trying to develop companies and just the fact of helping create Penguin India has been enormously satisfying.

Can you tell us about the BUSINESS of publishing? (I think for most people it's a mystery veiled in secrecy and delusions of grandeur).

There is the myth that if you write a novel you'll become rich, famous, attractive to women, or whatever the case may be, but I think that's largely a myth. Very few books break out in a way such as God of Small Things and A Suitable Boy did because its only 1% who get to superstardom because they won a big prize or it's an amazing book and enough readers caught on to the fact. But think of the odds... There are about 100,000 books published every year. How on earth are you going to get each of those books to a reader's attention! Let's say you walk into a bookstore, you
face the first novel that appears and you have no idea what it's about. There is so much competing for your attention. Most novels sell only about 400 or 500 copies. If it's a good seller it will sell 5000 copies if it won an award and got great reviews. It is only superstars that sell more and superstars are very few and
every one knows who they are. The question we need to ask is why are there so few superstars? Why isn't every writer published famous? There isn't enough attention available for these writers. So that TV time, radio time, bookstore sales, all mitigate against every writer getting in.

Two or three industries suffer from the same thing, movie and TV, and music being closest to the book industry. Think of the tens of thousands of artists who've produced CDs and nobody's heard of them, and nobody will hear of them because that is the way the system works. So what happens say if you've written a book and
you approach a publisher? Well normally you approach the publishing house through a literary agent because they are the top filter, and a top agent comes to me and says this is a wonderful book... I'll say I'll read it. But if you approach me directly you probably won't get through many of the sieves... there are assistants, there are people in the mailroom, and there are book manuscripts at the back because of overflow... everyone thinks they can write a book!

Finding a good agent is becoming increasingly tough because they too are inundated with manuscripts as well. The agent comes to us generating interest in a book and we have special editors, one specializes in Canadian writers; she says okay or no, I like it or don't like it. The book is brought to a meeting where she says she wants to pay this kind of money. You have a price on this book say $35 dollars, so the author will get a percentage royalty on every book sold. For a 10% royalty you will get $3.5 dollars on every copy sold. So what we will do, is advance the author,
through his or her agent x amount of money, say $35,000 dollars because we expect to sell 5,000 or 6,000 hardback and 10,000 copies in paperback, so we figure its worth about $35,000. So it's not an outright gift... it's an advance against royalties.
Then hopefully the book is published and lives up to expectations and earns out and the response is we're happy, the author is happy, and the agent is happy... but in 90% of the cases it doesn't earn out the advance and so you're in trouble. Of the 100 books published in Canada, I expect 20 books to support the rest.

Where do you see the Canadian publishing industry heading? How does it compare with what's happening in the Indian publishing industry?

Canada has certain problems and certain advantages like many markets in the world. I'll deal with the problem first. It's a small market. It's 35 million of which 5 million are French speakers, so you can't do much with that size of market. Whereas
America is 200 million plus, UK is over 60 million, Australia is really small, about 20 million. So tens of thousands of books are jostling for attention in this country. Plus you have the major superstore Indigo Chapters which controls over 50% of market, so if they don't support a book it's dead in the water. And there is
immense pressure on them as well because there are so many books pouring in. So these are the problems people have to deal with including the fact that there are lots of writers, agents, lots of publishing houses, everyone competing for that elusive customer. Fortunately, Canadians read quite a lot, but they don't read enough to make everyone prosperous. It is probably very difficult for a writer to break out in a major way unless you are someone like Yan Martel, Michael Ondaatje, Rohinton Mistry, Margaret Attwood, etc., these are people already established and
are stars because they've built up over period of time. Beyond that, it's very tough to break through.

On the positive side, because of the way Canada has been encouraging immigration for the last 30 years, you have the whole world sitting here, and so Canada's stories are quite fresh; whereas writing about one's experiences living in Mississauga
that's where a lot of these books get bogged down because if your domestic experience is not interesting, how will you make your book interesting? Your life is interesting to friends, family, and about a 100 people who know you. That is were most first novels fail because they are so autobiographical, instead of trying to sell a story. Why would people want to read a book unless they're interested in your life?

The interesting thing here is you have people from Somalia, Kosovo, Taiwan, India, and they're all writing books about their own experiences and that's what makes it interesting. So I think Canada has a great future about the stories its writers are
starting to tell. And it is a very good domestic market for its size because per capita people read a lot more here than other countries.

I was once asked at the Canada Book Expo, where I was giving a presentation, what advice can I give aspiring writers. My reply is they should always take risks. There's no point in writing a small, safe, book... it just disappears. Take risk! What do you have to lose? Stretch yourself, write a big, huge, ambitious book! And those are the books that always leave a mark because there's so few around.

The Indian publishing scene in 20 years will be the second or third largest in the world overtaking Canada and Australia; I'm talking about English language publishing. I've heard there are about 300 million Indians using some form of English, so they've already taken over the US and UK, but for the publishing industry you need to use English as first language or frequently because otherwise you're not going to go to the bookstore to buy a book. You might go to a street fair, but you're not my market. That's going to take a while. I think today there are 7 to 8 million Indians who use English effortlessly, so that's about the size of
New Zealand, but because you have next generation teenagers and young people learning English at the speed of light, they are going to join the market in another 5 to 10 years; this generation will continue to be the market, and there's going to
be bit of the previous generation also in the market, so from about 7 to 8 million India will go to 30 to 40 million in the space of 15 to 20 years which means it's just going to explode. It's already the fastest growing market in the world and it's a huge market. Penguin India is fortunate, we came in the beginning so we got in on the ground floor; all we need is to reap the benefits of our earlier labor because this market is growing, while the Canadian market is pretty much static. However, it is growing through some immigration. That is why Canada needs to look out for itself constantly and build its strengths to the world if it's going to keep its economy and lifestyle going.

Who are your heroes?

I started out with heroes and along the way you lose the need to have heroes. I greatly admire my mentor, Peter Mayer, former Chairman of Penguin, Sunny Mehta, who runs Knopf... I greatly admire writers like Vikram Seth, Arundathi Roy, Ondaatje,
Rohinton Mistry... but at some point in your life you stop having heroes. You figure everyone does their best, some people have luck on their side, some people have some advantages, but everyone's a hero.

What makes them heroes in your mind?

They are exceptionally talented, and they have arrived... You know, I was reading a poem by Rudyard Kipling which goes, "If you can fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds' worth of distance run, yours is the Earth and everything that's in it... " Which means you do your best every single moment you can, and if you happen to have the talent as well, then you get to a stage where you are slightly set apart from your peers because you have done things that it is not possible for them to do.

So for example, you have great artists, like the South African writer Coetzee; they've written novels that's not possible for average novelists to write because of their level of skill and level of perception. Why do you read a novel today? You have so many sources to choose from. The reason I think you read a novel today is because the greatest novels give you more truth than non-fiction. Non-fiction is information, non-fiction is argument... The Economist will give you insights, but what fiction gives you is insights into the human condition, the great fiction, not the hundred thousand novels that are published every year. There are very few books like Disgrace or A Suitable Boy or 100 Years of Solitude, my personal favorites, which raise the bar. If you can't do that, why bother? So that's why they are my
heroes.

In terms of publishing, Sunny and Peter have pushed the boundaries of the publishing business and tried to innovate. Anyone who pushes the boundaries needs to be admired. Whether you are a business person, an athlete, or whatever, you need to push the boundaries instead of merely existing. Pearson, the company that owns Penguin, its vision is you need to be "Brave, Imaginative, and Decent." Which are interesting words that carry a lot of meaning, and is what I look for in people. There's lots of people that don't get opportunities, lots of people face much competition, maybe their home situation isn't so great, maybe their work situation isn't so great, so their kind of stuck... but I think people make their own destiny don't they? Yeah, I admire people, but if you ask me whether I have heroes today -
probably not.

Do you have a dream or vision that guides the course of your life?

The thing about vision is it needs to be renewed every day. Because at the end of the day, what does a person want to do? You have a set path which clarifies itself as you go along. You have a set path - this is what I do, this is what I'm good at, and how can I use this to influence events and people within my ambit? And I think narrowly defined within my job description, my vision for Penguin India was to give India a world-class publishing company. I think that vision has been achieved. My vision of Penguin Canada is to make it the best company of its size anywhere in the world.

You only have one chance, make the best of it!
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Sharif Khan (http://www.herosoul.com; sharif@herosoul.com) is a freelance writer, motivational speaker, coach, and author of Psychology of the Hero Soul, an inspirational book on awakening the hero within and developing people's leadership potential. He provides inspirational keynotes and leadership seminars and also helps companies develop empowering content through his copywriting services. To contact Sharif directly, call (416) 417-1259.

Friday, January 20, 2006

Valentine Resources

VALENTINE'S DAY IS COMING ... ARE YOU PREPARED? Here are some resources for you.

Article about Single Parents on Valentine's Day

Is music the most important part of a romantic Valentine's celebration? You be the judge. Check out the romantic classical music selections and opera** at Club Vivo Per Lei / I Live for Music romantic music to set the mood. Join Club Vivo. It's free.

**Opera has been around longer than most institutions. Are you curious to know why?

Check out The Top 11 Valentine Gifts. You may find some surprises here.

Looking for Last Minute Valentine Gifts. Jewelry, massages oils, flowers and the like.

Now here's something everyone can use. Learn it now, for when that relationship you've been looking for comes your way. Take the 10 Weeks to A Better Relationship Course It's free.

They say: "This is a step-by-step course that can help the two of you enhance your marriage relationship. Find out why expectations and myths can harm your marriage. Learn how to fight fairly. Check out ways to celebrate your coupleness. Watch movies together. Take the 90-day dialogue challenge. This is a ten-week course, delivered once each week."

You-know-what always needs to be surrounded with plain pure love and affection. Read my ebook How to Sensualize Your Relationship and be prepared next time.
==========
DID YOU KNOW THAT YOUR HEALTH IS YOUR GREATEST ROMANTIC ASSET?

Get yourself in the best shape possible, with Arbonne nutraceuticals, cosmetics. anti-aging skin care, lotions and shaving cream, all made with pure, natural ingredients which will not add toxins to your life. Do you need more? No mineral oil, no ephedra. No obnoxious scents unless specifically aromatherapy.

I take DefenseBuilder anti-oxidant. Go here to read about it and order.

I'm Dating on the Internet, Are You?

IS HE FEEDING YOU A LINE??

I'm dating on the Internet, are you? My friend and fellow coach, Nancy, and I are collecting initial emails. Virtual "lines," if you will. Some you just know are being mass-emailed.

VIRTUAL "LINES" with my comments in paren

Are you always this hot? Your burning up my screen. (misspelledtoo!) [This is a mass-mailing. How do I know? Because he can't keep track and has sent it to me three times in the past 6 months!!!)

A man could get lost in those eyes. [Sweet guy. This was via IM]

You have what I'm looking for. Take a look at my profile and see if you're interested. [I don't like taking orders. That sounds like "Get me a beer." I like the man to do the work early-on. I think this is mass-produced.]

Foxy lady. [please]

Can those eyes be real? [This is coming up a lot for me. Must be that Glamour Photo!]

Write me if you're interested. [No way. Mass-produced by a lazy guy.]

Tell us some you've written, or are getting, and what the response has been. Do you send them out en masse? Do you actually read the man or woman's profile? Let us know.

I must say you're very attractive. I keep coming back. [Nice, I don't think it's mass-produced, but it also a passive statement. While I don't like marching orders, I like a guy who is self-assured enough to assert himself ... like, I'm glad he keeps coming back to look at my photo, but that's like a nice porn site, not dating.]

Email me if you're not an addict, mean-spirited, gold-digging... [It goes on and on. Don't they realize when they write like this it's like saying 'I'm so stupid I've been involved with addicts, mean-spirited people, gold-diggers...' This is a statement about THEM, not anyone else. Immmediate "delete."

I'm new at this. You see, my wife died about two months ago. We were married for 25 years... [It goes on. He has my sympathy, of course, but no way do you date someone so fresh in widowerhood. They are not emotionally available. I'm sure it was personal, not mass produce, and that he's taking that much time (long email) with any number of other women on the site, because he's so lonely, lost, scared and grieving. Sorry, but I want the full-meal deal. I'll pass on this one.]
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Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Allergy Capital of the Nation

OVERWHELMED? Stress can make you sick. Try a prescription of emotional intelligence and nutraceuticals!

San Antonio, where I live, is currently one of the allergy hotspots in the nation. Many people are coming down with bronchitis, and even pneumonia. I stay well with Arbonne NUTRACEUTICALS. I recommend DefenseBuilder.
==================
"WHEN PURE SINCERITY FORMS WITHIN, IT IS OUTWARDLY REALIZED IN OTHER PEOPLE'S HEARTS." -Lao Tzu

We know we attract what we put out there. If you want to change your WORLD, change YOU.

I hear this from clients all the time after they've taken the EQ Alive! Program - -"My whole life has changed."

If you're looking for a new you in the new year, how about coaching? It will speed up your progress.

If you've been putting the same things on your list of resolutions each year, or if you've already broken this year's, isn't that a clue that you need something different. Try coaching! That's what coaching is for.

A new you can start with your makeup. Take a look HERE for the help you need. Arbonne has makeup that can enhance your appearance on the outside as you change on the inside. Arbonne products have pure, natural ingredients, and this is crucial because what you put on your skin is absorbed into your blood stream.


Arbonne
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And don't forget those all important nutraceuticals while you're getting in shape. We study EQ for Whole-Health - - physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. Our emotions effect our immune system, and our immune system is our health. Arbonne's nutraceuticals will help you get well and stay well.

Sunday, January 15, 2006

Woody Allen's Match Point

EQ and ARBONNE ... FOR YOUR HEALTH
===========================
OF MEN AND WOMEN, GOOD AND EVIL, EQ AND IQ

There is so much food for thought in this article, and a call, in it's own way for emotional intelligence. "...[T]o be lost in an intellectual fog, trying to reason out the nature of things far larger than our minds. The intellect cannot go there, is the wrong tool..." writes Steven Barnes, in "Woody Allen's 'Match Point' (2005)".

The very first line I ever heard Woody Allen speak was a joke on the Tonight show concerning theological issues, about how, during a divinity test, he cheated by "looking into the soul of the girl sitting next to me." I believe that he used a clip from such a stand up routine in one of his films, perhaps Annie Hall. I honestly don't remember. For decades, Woody has intertwined several basic themes: love and its yearnings. Faith. Talent and success. Human evil and the absence of God in the universe. And he does that thing that humor does: takes pain and fear, turns
them inside out and makes us laugh. But behind the laughter has always been an extraordinarily keen mind and a troubled spirit.

Most of us agree that his marriage to his own step-daughter was a sign of a damaged psyche. Of course, he'd been warning us for decades that he was damaged goods, hadn't he? It wasn't until "Bullets Over Broadway" in which a murderous hit-man is
revealed as a theatrical genius, did it finally hit me that he was obsessed with the question of why evil is not punished in the universe. Why, in fact, success seems to have no connection to the purity of the soul.

In "Crimes and Misdemeaners" he went further, encouraging us to empathize with a man capable of a terrible act.but that film sat on the fence, allowing us to argue about the right and wrong of things, rather than focusing us on the core question which has
obviously chewed at his heart and mind since childhood.

No such mistake in "Match Point." In this film, which I consider one of his very best ever, he tells the story of a social-climbing tennis pro (Jonathan Rhys Meyers) who marries the boss's daughter (Chloe Hewett Wilton) while harboring a passion for his future sister-in-law (Scarlett Johanssen). The bedroom farce takes a rather dark turn (to say the least), leading to an action which very few people could find other
than utterly reprehensible on every conceivable level. And to a diabolically clever ending. The theme, announced from the very beginning is that few of us want to face the fact that so much of life is based on luck. Specifically, luck as opposed to
merit.

But to skip over all further plot details to address this theme, I think it's something of an Easter Egg. Look deeper, and the question is not merely one of luck, but one that asks: "Is there a God in the Universe? If so, what is His nature, and
why is he silent?"

I can't help but think that Woody is asking the wrong question. If, as I suspect, on one level he believes human beings are shallow and evil, and that he himself has achieved massive wealth and fame while deeply flawed and (he suspects) evil in his personal life, then where is the justice in the universe.

First of all, with this film, I found myself believing that Allen is a good man. Flawed, but good. The nature of the questions he has been asking his entire life, as opposed to what we know of his personal life, leads me to think him damaged but not damned. Just a personal opinion.

Secondly, I think that the key is not in "why are the wicked not punished" but the question "what is the nature of a good, successful life"? He has taken a perfectly reasonable approach: a beautiful spouse, wealth, health, public acclaim are a good
life. That evil men and women can achieve this must be deeply troubling to him.

And troubles me not at all. It is possible of course that it is MY philosophy that is shallow, and his that cuts deep. I won't be self-congratulatory, or dogmatic enough to pat myself on the back, but I must stake out a position.

So here it is. I think that external measurements of success are wonderful, but ultimately satisfying only if they match our internal values. And from the cradle, we crave connection to love, to warmth, to that total acceptance we felt from our
mothers, in the womb if nowhere else. And that this craving is totally unconscious, and that we spend the rest of our lives attempting to regain it.

When we sense that our own values and actions could be replicated by the entire world, to its benefit, I think that there is a sense of peace that simply cannot be put into words, a state of grace, of joy that those who have not experienced simply cannot believe in-as sociopaths cannot believe that human beings genuinely experience love and caring for one another. Such poor souls circle in the outer darkness. Say "I love you" to them, and they think "if only you knew what I really was, you wouldn't say that." Or worse, they think "poor, deluded fool, to feel such trivial, false emotions."

Of COURSE it is possible to achieve acclaim, and fame, and health, and hot sex and be evil. Evil is a judgment about things on a spiritual level, not on the level of business (although in general, honesty pays in business) or marriage contracts (you can lie and cheat, and your mate may never discover it) or fitness/health (I've known tremendously fit and long-lived people who were monsters).

Yet and still, Lifewriting asks us to embrace these three qualities as markers of inner worth. Why? Because they are the best, simplest external markers I know of. They are not infallible.

On a personal level, I believe that when our inner values and our outer actions are in alignment, and when those actions and values are transparent, so that we would stand before all mankind and say: "this is who I am. And I would want my children, and your children to be the same, and I am prepared to stand before the universe and say that I would be willing and happy to be treated as I have treated others" that there is a simple peace that comes from this that cannot be replaced by money, or sex, or even life itself.

Those who have been abused, neglected, uncherished, often do not develop the spiritual sensory equipment to find their way to this place. The armies of lethal children found in inner cities around the third world (and sometimes the first world)
attest to this: they have not experienced love, and therefore have no ability to empathize, or care about much beyond survival and simple pleasures.

What IS a good life? In my mind, the correct answer to this needs no God in the universe to punish the wicked, although a life lived in this fashion often opens an awareness (or to be fair, a belief) in the existence of the divine. To be separated
from this sense is to be lost in an intellectual fog, trying to reason out the nature of things far larger than our minds. The intellect cannot go there, is the wrong tool. For decades Allen has tried to reason out his relationship with God, to understand the Holocaust in the framework of his childhood beliefs. I feel terribly sorry for him, and hope that he can forgive the world, and himself, in time to find peace in his life.

But meanwhile, I'm going to enjoy his ruminations. They are brilliant, and heartfelt, and heartbreakingly honest at this point in his life. "Match Point" is another of the best films of 2005, one which, unfortunately, I didn't see until 2006.

In retrospect, 2005 was one heck of a year for movies. I hope 2006 will be as fine.

About The Author: N.Y. Times Bestselling writer Steven Barnes has lectured on story and consciousness from UCLA to the Smithsonian Institute. He is the creator of the Lifewriting whole body/mind writing system. Learn more at: http://www.lifewrite.com
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Saturday, January 14, 2006

Single for the Holidays

"The best defense is a good offense." Get started today with Arbonne's DefenseBuilder, for your health.

THIS IS SO EQ.

"You, you, and you ... panic. The rest of you, come with me."
- U.S. Marine Corp Gunnery Sgt.
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Making the rounds of the Internet, called Military Wisdom. Notice it's not called Military Intelligence. "Wisdom" is in the realm of emotional intelligence. Knowing the enemy is within range is intelligence. Knowing that means you are as well, is Emotional Intelligence.

A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit."
- Army's magazine of preventive maintenance.
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"Aim towards the Enemy."
- Instruction printed on US Rocket Launcher
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"When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend."
- U.S. Marine Corps training manual
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"Cluster bombing from B-52s are very, very accurate. The bombs are guaranteed to always hit the ground."
- USAF Ammo Troop
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"If the enemy is in range, so are you."
- Infantry Journal
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"It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed."
- U.S. Air Force Pilot training manual
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"Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons."
- General MacArthur
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"Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo."
- Infantry Journal
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"Tracers work both ways."
- U.S. Army Ordnance officer
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"Five second fuses only last three seconds."
- Infantry Journal
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Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid."
- David Hackworth
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"If your attack is going too well, your walking into an ambush."
- Infantry Journal
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"No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection."
- Joe Gay
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"Any ship can be a minesweeper... once."
- Anonymous
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"Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do."
- Unknown Marine Recruit
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"Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you."
- Your Buddies
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"If you see a bomb technician running, follow him."
- USAF Ammo Troop
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"Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death... I Shall Fear No Evil. For I am at 80,000 Feet and Climbing."
- At the entrance to the old SR-71 operating base, Kadena, Japan
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"You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3."
- Paul F. Crickmore (test pilot)
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"The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire."
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"Blue water Navy truism: There are more planes in the ocean than submarines in the sky."
--From an old carrier sailor
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"If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's probably a helicopter -- and therefore, unsafe."
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"When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane you always have enough power left
to get you to the scene of the crash."
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"What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots? If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies; If ATC screws up, .... the pilot dies."
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"Never trade luck for skill."
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The three most common expressions (or famous last words) in aviation are: "Why is it doing that?", "Where the hell are we?" and "Oh Shit!"
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"Weather forecasts are horoscopes with numbers."
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"Progress in airline flying: now a flight attendant can get a pilot pregnant."
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"Mankind has a perfect record in aviation; we never left one up there!"
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"Flashlights are tubular metal containers kept in a flight bag for the purpose of storing dead batteries."
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"Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground incapable of understanding or doing anything about it."
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"Just remember, if you crash because of weather, your funeral will be held on a sunny day."
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Advice given to RAF pilots during WWII: "When a prang (crash) seems inevitable, endeavor to strike the softest, cheapest object in the vicinity as slowly and gently as possible."
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"The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely kill you."
- Attributed to Max Stanley (Northrop test pilot)
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"Never fly in the same cockpit with someone braver than you."
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"There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime."
- Sign over squadron ops desk at Davis-Monthan AFB, AZ,
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"If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to."
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Basic Flying Rules: "Try to stay in the middle of the air. Do not go near the edges of it. The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more difficult to fly there."
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As the test pilot climbs out of the experimental aircraft, having torn off the wings and tail in the crash landing, the crash truck arrives, the rescuer sees a bloodied pilot and asks, "What happened?". The pilot's reply: "I don't know, I just got here myself!"
- Attributed to Ray Crandell (Lockheed test pilot)
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Learn how to stay in the middle of the air during your day, with the EQ Alive! Program. It's all about positioning yourself - - emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually.
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Are you an MLM? Position yourself as a certified Preventive Healthcare Coach. Add clout to what you recommend, and enhance your ability to attract and keep customers. Encompass an enormous range of products under your umbrella. Email me for information on the coach training and certification program. sdunn@susandunn.cc or call 210-496-0678.

Thursday, January 12, 2006

Be a Preventive Healthcare Coach and Enhance Your Online Marketing

FROM SUSAN DUNN, PREVENTIVE HEALTHCARE COACH

You can have your own home business and product line as a Preventive Healthcare Coach. Let me train and certify you. Get some muscle in your Internet business, and attract new, long-term customers with the total preventive healthcare approach of coaching. For information, email me at sdunn@susandunn.cc

Get ready for Valentine's Day with a New Look. Check here for total MAKEOVER cosmetics, nutraceuticals and anti-aging skincare products.

TREAT AGING AND DRY SKIN

The pace of modern life takes its toll on our bodies and our skin in myriad ways. More and more we find that we are succumbing to the effects that our polluted atmosphere is having on our skin. Dirt, smoke, grime, and excessive exposure to the
sun all have a serious impact on the health of our skin.

Health and beauty experts the world over, understand the need for effective treatments for aging and dry skin. The treatment of aging and dry skin is not limited to those of us who have reached middle age, when the signs of aging skin are most apparent, but in fact, the treatment of aging and dry skin should be a regular part of everyone's health & beauty regime.

Everyone wants to be healthy and strong; as we age, our continued health and strength is closely related to how we treat our bodies as well as the foods that we eat. Adopting a healthy lifestyle and fitness regime while we are young is easier than trying to switch to healthy living later in life.

Young people are not always aware that their early food choices may affect their health for their entire life. Many American teens live on a steady diet of junk foods; like pizza, ice cream, hash browns, cheeseburgers, candy, sodas and other
unhealthy food. These foods appeal to the taste buds but slowly deplete the body of nutrients and vitamins.

Foods like pizza and soda are harmful to the body because they have a tendency to increase the quantity of fat in the body, but they are also harmful to the overall health of the skin. Sodas in particular and foods with large quantities of fat induce acne, pimples, and patchy skin.

Pimples can seem to a teenager like their worse nightmare. Apart from how they affect the appearance, pimples also increase the likelihood of permanent scarring to the skin. The treatment for aging and dry skin should effectively begin while you are still in your 20's. If viewed from a preventative perspective, the early treatment of aging and dry skin can save one years of anguish later. [See full line of acne products HERE. Used as a system, the effect is synergistic.]

The major reasons for aging of the skin are both internal, as in the genes we inherit from our parents as well as external, from exposure to the sun and other environmental causes. Aging from internal factors begins when we are still in our mid 20's. The signs are not obvious then, but they are present.

As the collagen in our skin starts to deplete, the skin loses elastin, the substance that allows the skin to spring back into place. Dead skin is also not as quickly replaced and new skin cell turnover declines. All of these factors are genetically controlled and must be considered when deciding a treatment method for aging and dry skin.

External factors, such as exposure to the sun leaves the skin vulnerable to heat, radiation and ultraviolet rays. Ultraviolet rays harm the skin and may also be a factor in the development of skin cancer. Over the years, just a few minutes' worth of exposure to the sun daily without protection can result in wrinkles, age spots, freckles, and patchy, rough skin.

Prevention is key in treating aging and dry skin. Although you cannot erase the process of aging and turn it around, you can protect your skin and help it stay younger by following a few simple rules:

- Avoid going into the sun between 10:00am to 4:00pm when the sun is at its strongest.
- Wear a hat to protect your eyes, face and hair from the sun's rays.
- Eat plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables.
- Drink plenty of water

All of these measures are beneficial for the skin. However if you feel that your skin needs more comprehensive treatment you should consider consulting a professional dermatologist who will advise you about the various skin treatments available. Some options may include lasers, radio frequency, chemical fillers,
botox injections, and microdermabrasion.

There are also consumer products on the market that are extremely effective in combating the signs of aging. Skin care specialists are making use of emerging scientific information about how to keep skin looking its best.

A product called RejuvinolT from www.BODeStore.com can be a powerful weapon in the fight against aging says its makers. RejuvinolT is enhanced with advanced anti-oxidants and vitamins, which reduce the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles, and leaves skin firmer, younger-looking, more vibrant and healthier. Hyaluronic Acid, is included in the formula. It is a naturally occurring substance in the body, and one of the most effective moisturizing agents available.

RESOURCE BOX: Visit http://www.HealthandFitnessVitality.com for the latest in Timeless Health and Fitness Tips for 2006. Discover the newest trends at the Fit After Forty Blog. Find them at... Http://www.healthandfitnessvitality.com/blogs/fitnessblog.htm Article courtesy of Kamau Austin, © Copyright 2006

This article is for general information purposes only. Before undertaking any exercise or treatment program always check first with your doctor and health professionals.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Ready for Valentine's Day?

Valentine's is coming up - - a challenging holiday for singles, yet also for the partner-ed. Increasingly a portion of us are irritated by this holiday and it's seemingly impossible demands. Stay tuned for tips.
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WHAT MUSIC DOES YOUR HEART HERE?

During the research portion of the surgery procedure, the doctor stressed the patient's heart and then had the harpist play for 10 minutes and recorded the response. As predicted, the patient's heart rate slowed and became more regular during the music, and for a short period afterwards.

When told after the surgery of what had happened, the patient said, "I didn't hear the music."

"Your heart did," the doctor replied.

When the patient's son heard there would be a harpist in the operating room, the son tossed off, "Is Gabriel going to be in there with the trumpet?"

Learn more about celestial archetypes (angels) and their instruments here.

Join Club Vivo Per Lei / I Live for Music here and learn more about the beneficial effects of music and emotional intelligence. There is no fee to join.

To harmonize your life and bring balance, take the EQ Alive! Program. Email me at sdunn@susandunn.cc for more information.

Monday, January 09, 2006

Harps soothes, but can it heal?

To join CLub Vivo Per Lei / I Live for Music, go here (or copy and paste: http://www.susandunn.cc/vivoperlei.htm)


QUESTION: Why is it an archetype that in heaven there are angels playing harps?

ANSWER: Read on.



In Club Vivo Per Lei / I Live for Music, one of our EQ outreach and educational project (free to all subscribers), we realize the soothing and healing powers of music.

As one listener wrote to AllClassical.org, which is FR** and we highly recommend it: "I've been hearing you and the other announcers talk about listening at work. I agree that classical music helps me keep psychologically and emotionally more even keel while I work as a freelance journalist.

"Today I was on an espcially tight deadline and couldn't mess around. Having classical music playing at my desk and in my car helps keep in check my natural tendency to stress out. Keep up the good work on 89.9 FM."

We direct you today to an article on msn entitled, "Harp has power to soothe, but can it heal? Instrument shows potential to synchronize irregular heartbeats."

Jennifer MacKinnon, a physician with a degree in music played the harp for a patient under sedation while doctors observed the effects on heart rhythm in what was aptly described as "some weird sci-fi melding of heaven and high-tech Earth." The
patient had afibrillation, irregular heart-beat.

Interest was whetted when Dr. Amy Goldberger of Harvard Medical School proposed the theory that varied rhythms created by healthy hearts are similar to note patterns in classical music. This impelled Kocheril and MacKinnon to research the notion that music can alleviate some of the mental and physical symptoms of disease.

Bravo! At Club Vivo, we know for sure a tonic of classical music adheres to the first dictum of medicine, the Hoppocratic Oath: "First of all, do no harm."

“People know that music relaxes you. We’re just trying to get more medical validation,” said Dr. MacKinnon... She took up harp-playing at age 10 and as a child, used to play for patients of her father, also a physician."

We discuss in Club Vivo, the common association of healing and music, represented by the archetype of Apollo, the Greek god of Medicine and Music. What's being discussed now was known centuries ago. That's what an archetype is all about, similar to the depiction of angels in heaven playing harps.

Some believe the harp has special propensity for healing because the resonant vibrations from live harp music may be particularly effective at regulating
quivering heart rhythms. [Note it says "live" harp music."] Other musical instruments and recorded music might offer similar benefits, Kocheril said, making a “music prescription” easier to follow. "Potentially, there could be a prescription for music five days a week ... to keep the heart healthy in general and specifically to keep rhythm disorders under control."

There is at least one music therapist who offers her clients an hour of her own live harp playing. She uses it to relieve chronic pain, such as that from osteoarthritis and fibromyalgia.

Bizarre to me, a doctor speculates against the inclusion in the operating room of "the elegant but unwieldy harp" when the room is already accommodating a rash of unwieldy and not elegant equipment.

And being of the right brain sort, well whole-brained, I immediately jump to the hypothesis (which is simply a learning-based speculation which research must go on to "prve") that, knowing doctors as I do, and their affinity for music, the presence of harp playing in the operating room would definitely help the physicians and what helps your doctor helps you, as they are, like it not, known to be a factor in your healing. Not just their hands, but their personalities, their presence. (We recommend and offer a version of the EQ Alive! Program for physicians. Please refer this information.)
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THE REPLAY STORE - - for your music needs

Our Replay store endeavors to make music appreciation accessible to everyone, regardless of your pocketboook.

Please check with me before you order, because I can't seem to keep these in stock, the demand has been so high. Currently I have only one of the "Understanding Opera," which I offer for a bargain price of $77.00

It is our goal to offer you dramatic savings on one of the best experiences you can buy -- tapes and CDs from The Teaching Company.

You'll have an opportunity to learn with the teachers who teach at the schools where a college education costs $100k, and is worth 10 times that. Our gently-used collection gives you the opportunity to enjoy these at incredible savings.

The more you're comfortable with music, the more it can help. Common sense (EQ) would advise that, if you're puzzling about the Italian in "Ave Maria" or "Va'Pensiero" two of the most soothing/inspiring works there are, you won't be relaxed. Learn more. The more you know ... the more you know.
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Now, the Celtic harp music has long enchanted me, and we know that the Irish claim the kingdom of lullabies, which is a heaven unto itself. And what is a lullaby, but the soothing of the most distraught person there is - - a newborn trying to adjust to living on dry land. The Irish have no contenders in the realm of lullabies. My favorite it The Garten Mother's Lullaby.

We recommend My Gentle Harp: Celtic Favorites. Listen to "The Harp that Once Through Tara's Halls." To order, go HERE or copy and paste: http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?t=zglqxrbab.0.0.ym9zae57.0&p=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2Fexec%2Fobidos%2Fredirect%3Ftag%3Dsusandunnmome-20%26creative%3D373653%26camp%3D210949%26link_code%3Dst1%26adid%3D1YG5YPP9EJV5NYQJAHE4%26path%3DASIN%2FB00000IMU8.

In Club Vivo Per Lei / I Live for Music, we're learning more about music and EQ and we invite you to join us today. It's free. My gift to you!

Club Vivo Per Lei is dedicated to a physician, Dr. John J. Alifano, Jr., who practises in Massachusetts, and is an accomplished pianist. His favorite composer is Rachmaninoff, which he plays beautifully. Many may not claim Rachmaninoff to be not necessarily be their "favorite" (Beethoven is the King!), but many consider it the most healing. On Club Vivo you will find an article written by a physician about a patient's experience with Rachmaninoff (also spelled Rachmaninov.)

ON ARKIV MUSIC YOU CAN PICK UP AN AFFORDABLE CD OF RACHMANINOV AND GIVE IT A TRY. (Or copy and paste: http://www.arkivmusic.com/classical/100.jsp?AID=10277616&PID=1814374).

P.S. If Beethoven's not your favorite, and even if he is, let us know. Take the Music Survey. Your opinion counts.
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Saturday, January 07, 2006

Get Ready for Valentine's Day

BRING OUT THE BEST IN YOU WITH A MAKEOVER

CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE
Go here for MAKEOVER HELP.ARBONNE offers a full range of makeup that's good for you, easy to order online, and takes into account the important information that what you put on your skin is absorbed into your bloodstream.

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE is all about EMPOWERMENT. As we gear up for the holiday of Valentine's Day, how about a makeover? Go HERE for the products you need.

Arbonne has everything you need to get started, and EQ will speed you on your way. Once you change your mind, all things are possible. Remember, "If it's possible for anyone, it's possible for me."

For EQ coaching, call me at 210-496-0678 or email me at sdunn@susandunn.cc . We recommend the EQ Alive! Program. We work on emotional management, and the LIFESKILLS that will help you formulate realistic, doable goals, and then allow you the emotional competencies to reach them.

Today's article outlines some of the parts of a plan which will help. COACHING is crucial to reaching your goals, so MAKE THE COMMITMENT NOW and email me.

"Article Title: How To Finally Lose Weight Rapidly"

Let's look at the effects and possible complications of obesity:

Obesity increases the risk of developing disease. Possible complications include:
. Heart disease
. High blood pressure
. Cancer
. Diabetes
. Gallbladder disease
. Breathing problems
. Bloating and stomach upsets
. Varicose veins
. Severe psychological problems

In fact, according to some studies, almost 70 percent of heart disease cases in the United States are linked to excess body fat, and obese people are more than twice as likely to develop high blood pressure.

Obese women are at nearly twice the risk for developing breast cancer, and all obese people have an estimated 42 percent higher chance of developing colon cancer.

Almost 80 percent of patients with Type 2, or non-insulin-dependent diabetes mellitus are obese.

The risk of medical complications, particularly heart disease, increases when body fat is distributed around the waist, especially in the abdomen. This type of upper body fat distribution is more common in men than in women.

The social and psychological problems experienced by obese people are also challenging. Discrimination for "fat" people is most likely to occur in educational institutions, employment, and social relationships.

Other psychological effects include stress, nervous tension, boredom, frustration, lack of friends, depression, inferiority complex, and poor self-esteem.

Here are some action steps to take.

1. The Proper Plan

Before taking actions in any problem we encounter, there should always be a plan first. Beginning a task without planning is like building a house without a blueprint or fighting against a basketball team without a team play with your teammates. How can you expect a good outcome?

Losing weight is not at all different from any other situation. It also involves taking action based on proper plans built on good information. The better your plan, the more solid the information it is based on, the more satisfying your result.

2. Setting a Goal

Okay, so your weight is 20% above the considered normal for your height. You tend to eat more than 5 regular meals a day. You're certain that you're physically unfit. Now, the question is, what do you want to happen?

Setting a goal is the first step in planning. Know what you want to accomplish. This way, the road you are taking is clear. You can keep track of your journey - whether or not you are heading in the right direction. With a goal in mind, you are always motivated to finish a task, or in some cases, to start doing it.

3. Be Definite

Setting a specific goal, when planning to lose weight, improves your chances of success. Be clear and definite with what you want happen.

Vague aims such as 'I'd like to be healthier' or 'I need to lose a few kilos,' tend to produce half-hearted efforts and poor results.

Instead, state your goal distinctly: 'I want to lose 2-3 kilos this week and every week' or 'I will trim my waist line from 40" down to 32" by the end of the month.'

If you need to, write it down and put it where you will always see and read it. This way, you'll always be reminded of what you want and need to accomplish by the end of the month, the week, or even the day.

4. Be Realistic

In establishing a definite goal, make sure that it is possible and doable - realistic, in simpler terms.

How can a goal like 'I'll lose 15 lbs in just a week happen if even the most accurate weight-loss diet suggests that you can only burn 6-7 lbs in a week?

Goals need to be sensible so that they can be achieved.

When you set an unrealistic goal, you're setting yourself up for disappointment. Many people give up on their goals because they fail to base their plans on the correct information.

5. Strategizing

After deciding on your goal, the next step is planning how to accomplish it.

Planning involves proper scheduling of activities throughout the whole day for a certain period of time. These include exercises, meals, and rest. It also includes the time these activities should be done, the duration, and in the case of eating meals, the food to be consumed. This way, inappropriate spur-of-the-moments decisions can be avoided.

A proper and effective plan consists of quality time for performing such activities. Give yourself enough time to meet your goals. For example, sleep should be scheduled to last for around 8 hours a day so that you'll be able to get enough rest. Lack of sleep may cause improper eating habit the next day.

Again, plans should be realistic. Include only time and activities you know you can accomplish for a given period of time.

After preparing the plan, write it down since you can't always keep the many details in mind. Post it in a place where you can always see and read it to remind you what your plans are for the day.

Try your best not to skip anything in your scheduled plan. Work on making it happen.

6. Change your mind, change your life

The first step to change is in your mind. Once you can activate a positive intention, the process of change begins. If you really want something to happen, you have to say "yes" to it. Then, and only then, can you see and experience ways in which you can shift your reality.

Saleem Rana is a psychotherapist in Denver, Colorado. If you would like more information on how to rapidly lose weight, you can get it here.

Be sure and watch your nutrition as you lose. Get a good nutraceutical HERE and make sure you get vitamins and minerals you need to support your immune system. Below you will see Arbonne's Weight Loss System, Figure 8, just perfect to speed you on your way.

You see, there is all the help you need to be ready for Valentine's Day ... and the rest of the year.

Friday, January 06, 2006

How to Get That Weight Off


NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS AND WILL POWER

Did you resolve to lose weight this year? Here's an article from MSN about will power. Combine that with the Arbonne Weight Loss system and you have a winning combination.

Can You Increase Your Willpower?
by Tamim Ansary

Many of us say we'd like to be more well rounded. And, by golly, we achieve this goal during the holidays. Six weeks of gorging and lounging can easily make some of us a little too well rounded.

It's never too early to start thinking about resolutions, or at least get a vague idea or two about making some changes. What's on your list? I'm vowing to get fit, quit watching so much TV, shed some pounds, start a new business ... yadda, yadda, yadda.

The mystery is how to do it. How do you resist that truffle? Where do you get the willpower (or the won't-power, as in I won't eat that truffle)?

For that matter ... What the heck is willpower?

In some circles, it's a bad--or at least an unfashionable--word. Addiction counselors say the whole concept is counterproductive. It makes people blame themselves, damaging their self-esteem, and poor self-esteem makes them weaker.

"Willpower is a negative concept," says Lori Feldman, a psychiatrist who specializes in helping people break bad habits. "I prefer the word motivation, because people can't change a behavior unless they have motivation."

I called Jenny Craig, Fitness USA, and the Habit Abatement Clinic, and they all said the same thing, "We don't use the word willpower. We prefer the word motivation."

The method these folks seem to recommend is that the best way to battle a craving is to fool it or to distract yourself. Crave a truffle? Go ahead, eat ... a carrot. Or go ahead and indulge yourself, not by eating, but by going shopping (if that rings your bell).

So okay, let's say the word willpower is no-good, what about the thing itself? Does willpower exist?

Until recently, no one doubted it. Ancient philosophers such as Plato put the will smack dab at the center of human personality. They believed human action resulted from three forces: reason, desire, and will.

Medieval philosophers had a paradox that seemed to prove the existence of this thing called will. It was called Buridan's ass. It went like this: Suppose you place a donkey halfway between two bales of hay. If it only has reason and desire it won't move at all because it will be pulled equally in opposite directions and will eventually starve. There must, therefore, be a third force. Enter the will.

But 19th-century psychologists such as Sigmund Freud downgraded will and started talking more about drives. To put it simply, Freud located the source of these deep inside the self, where no one could see them except through dreams and neuroses.

In the 20th century, B.F. Skinner argued that we should forget about the inner self because behavior is shaped entirely from the outside by reinforcements. Any behavior followed by a reward gets strengthened. This is the premise of behaviorism, the school of psychology Skinner helped pioneer.

To change your own behavior, Skinner and his colleagues would say, reward yourself each time you do the right thing. (I tried this and it worked! I wanted to quit eating pie, so every time I didn't eat a slice of pie, I rewarded myself with a nice slice of pie. Now I'm giving up pie ten or twelve times a day!)

Can we measure willpower?
Early psychologists worried that willpower was unscientific: It couldn't be seen, touched, or weighed. But neither can intelligence, and psychologists figured out ways to measure that. They can even, they say, rate a person's IQ (intelligence quotient) with a single number, like gas in the brain tank.

That can't be done with willpower. Or can it?

A classic experiment conducted with 4-year-olds seemed to measure what we call willpower. The experiment, which is quite reproducible, went like this.

A child was left alone in a room with a cookie. He was told that he would get two cookies later if he didn't eat the one in front of him. A hidden camera then watched to see how long he held out.

Here's the kicker. The kids in this experiment were tracked afterward, and those with a high resistance to the cookie (a.k.a willpower) generally did better in life.

But is willpower like intelligence? Are we born with a certain WQ (willpower quotient)? If so, how come we criticize people for their lack of willpower? We'd never tell a kid who's struggling with a math problem, "Just have more intelligence," but we say this kind of thing all the time about willpower. "Suck it up, soldier! What's wrong with you? Have some willpower."

The willpower muscle
Some recent experiments suggest that willpower may be like a muscle, at least to the extent that it can tire.

One such experiment was done by Dr. Roy Baumeister of Case Western Reserve University. Baumeister had two groups of people skip a meal. Then he put them in a room with plates of cookies and plates of radishes. Some were allowed to eat cookies. Others had to eat radishes. Later, both groups were given a tedious, exacting task (tracing a complex maze) and told to keep at it as long as they could.

The cookie eaters generally lasted 18 minutes. Those who had been eating radishes (that is, resisting temptation) lasted about nine minutes. Their willpower, it seems, was exhausted.

So if willpower is like a muscle, can it be strengthened? Yes, says Dr. Baumeister and others. One psychologist, Howard Rankin of the Carolina Wellness Center, even runs a willpower-training program.

Baumeister says that to strengthen your willpower, you must exercise it. But don't set yourself up for failure. Start with stuff your out-of-shape will can handle. Hold your breath. Stand on one leg. Write with your left hand, if you're right-handed. Skip a meal. Look for ways to pit willpower against want-power. It's like a weightlifter doing reps.

Learned helplessness
Then there's a theory propounded by University of Pennsylvania cognitive psychologist Martin Seligman. It started with an experiment Seligman witnessed. Two groups of dogs were subjected to a slight shock. One group had a lever they could push to turn the shock off. The other dogs had a lever that didn't do anything.

Next, the psychologists tried to teach these dogs to jump over a little fence. The dogs that had working levers learned it quickly. The others wouldn't even try. They just lay down and gave up.

Seligman believed the dogs had learned to be helpless. And he spent the next 20 years exploring this concept of learned helplessness. He's linked it, among other things, to a person's tendency to give up. He also believes learned helplessness can be unlearned.

This is where I sit up and take notice.

The key, he says, is in a person's explanatory script. What Seligman means by script is that little voice in your head that's always analyzing and explaining what happens to you.

According to Seligman, there are two styles of explanatory script--optimistic and pessimistic. When something good happens, the optimist says, "I did that. I do that kind of thing in many ways. It's a permanent part of who I am." But when a bad thing happens, the optimist says, "It was the situation. And that situation was unique. Anyway, it'll be different next time."

Pessimists use the same scripts; but they blame themselves when things go wrong and refuse to give themselves credit when things go well.

Seligman, like many cognitive psychologists, believes you can change your script, and then your script will change you. To become an optimist, says Seligman, first become aware of your automatic script--catch yourself in the act and see what you're telling yourself. Then, write down what you would be saying say if you were an optimist.

Keep it up and someday, pal, you too will be an optimist. (Isn't that just what an optimist would say?)

Personally, I lean toward the Baumeister plan (the one about exercising the willpower muscle). Break the challenges you're facing into bite-sized pieces. Let's say it's late and you're sleepy, but you have a column on willpower to write. Instead of making yourself write the column, just make yourself go to your desk. Then, just make yourself sit down. And keep going like that, baby step by baby step. It works.

The proof? You're reading it.

Let me and Arbonne help you with your will power, with your resolution. Shop with me online at My Arbonne, for Figure 8 Weight Loss products, and accompanying immune system boosters for your weight loss health, and immune system.

Thursday, January 05, 2006

Aging Well - Is it In Your Mind?



Physical health is not the best indicator of successful aging, says a recent report, attitude is.

POSITIVITY, OPTIMISM, A GOOD ATTITDE - - CALL IT WHAT YOU WILL, IT WORKS.

Optimism is the facilitator of all the EQ competencies, and learning it is part of our EQ Alive! Program. It is a way of thinking and looking at things that influences how you feel. As you know, it isn't what happens to you, it's how you take it, that matters.

In a recent study, Researcher Dilip Jeste, MD, professor of psychiatry and neurosciences at the University of California at San Diego found that "Optimism and effective coping styles were . . .more important to aging successfully than traditional measures of health and wellness. These findings suggest that physical health is not the best indicator of successful aging -- attitude is."

Read the full article here.

Or copy and paste into browser: http://www.webmd.com/content/article/116/112194.htm

EQ is about your total health.



The bird flu has shown up in Turkey with the death of one child and the infection of two others. Read the full story here: http://news.bbc.couk/2/hi/europe/4582654.stm .

Your immune system is your FIRST line of defense against a bacteria (like pneumonia) and your ONLY line of defense against viruses (like bird flu). There are no cures for viruses. They can only treat the symptoms and in most cases right now, this virus is quickly fatal.

NOW is the time to build up your immune system. We recommend Arbonne's DefenseBuilder and/or Get Well Soon Dietary Supplement, scientifically proven to nutritionally support your immune system.


ARBONNE, DEFENSE BUILDER
$18 for a 30 day supply. Shop conveniently with me online.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Bird Flu Kills Boy in Turkey


BIRD FLU KILLS BOY IN TURKEY

According to the BBC today, a Turkish boy has died of the bird flu in human form, a sister is seriously ill, and a third brother has symptoms. The boys work on a chicken farm. They ate infected poultry they kept at the house.

This is the first time the H5N1 strain has been detected outside east Asia, where it has killed at least 70 people.

Your immune system is your first line of defense against bacteria, and your ONLY line of defense against viruses. There are no cures for viruses (such as bird flu). Check this out with your doctor.

It's best to start building up your immune system now. You can find two products at Arbonne, "Get Well Now" and "Defense Builder". Ask me for more information if you'd like and shop conveniently with me at www.susandunn.myarbonne.com .

Says BBC: "So far the disease appears only to have infected people who live or work closely with birds, but health experts fear it could mutate and spread among human populations as easily as common influenza."

I have been taking DefenseBuilder for some time now. Every year in late December when the cedar pollinates in south Texas, I get a sinus infection (me and a lot of other people). For many, it goes into bronchitis, and pneumonia.

This year was no exception. I was in the doctor's office Christmas Eve day. I got the same medication I always do, but instead of having it linger on, get worse, last a long time, by Christmas Day I felt great and was able to enjoy my holidays. Within two days I was virtually symptom-free.

This is what a good immune system ("good health") can do for you. You will be able to fight many things off. Then, if you do get sick, which still happens, you are more likely to recover fast, and completely.

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

What about Being Single? Does it Work for You?

HOW IS YOUR NEW YEAR GOING?

I was reminded this Christmas, as always, that there are worse things to be than single. I went on a cruise in mid-December, a tradition, and there I saw many couples who didn't seem to happy together, and a few that were plain-out miserable.

I ate out at lovely restaurants during the month and saw plenty of couples, some of whom evidence real animosity toward one another.

Have you observed the same thing? This is kind of an EQ thing, a reality-testing thing. We "see" what we're "looking for." One big landmark test in the field of psychology was proving that depressed people scan for sadness, misery, violence, and grief. In a newspaper, for instance, they'll see the obits, and the riot headline. Someone in a happier state might see the side bar on the front page about a rescued cat.

So if you're seeing only ONE THING when you're out with people, think it over. It can be a big clue as to your inner feelings. If you go to a restaurant and see all the happy couples (which enforce your feelings of loneliness), while there are about as many tables around you with miserable married couples, groups of women, groups of men ... try and broaden the picture so you can broaden your outlook.

WHEN YOU'RE READY TO IMPROVE YOUR EQ, PLEASE CALL ME AT 210-496-0678 OR EMAIL ME AT sdunn@susandunn.cc .

Meanwhile, take the DATING & RELATING / Are you Better Off Single Quiz?
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Come shop with me online at My Arbonne. The ingredients are pure and natural, and will leave your skin feeling like avocado and rose petals.

Phillipa who's in my sales group says one of her clients bought the NutriMin system** and and footcare products (pampermint) and says her feet are not "soft as a baby's bottom.

BTW, 60,000 people joined Arbonne to buy products last month. Become a consultant and help supply to the tremendous demand.

**It's smart to buy the whole system, like for anti-aging, acne, baby, etc. Why" Because first of all they're designed (Swiss engineered, remember?) to work together in synergy. Secondly, you get a big discount. Then put it on auto-ship and you REALLY get a big discount. Add to that being a consultant, and it could be half-price. Not sure but I'll be glad to check it out for you.