Want to Get Her Back

The holiday season kicks up our emotions. It's a time when many men find they let someone go who they really loved. If you're alone for the holidays and wishing you were with that someone special, you need a startegic plan for getting her back.

It isn't as hard as it seems, if you do it right. The most important thing is that you were attracted once. Chances are cirumstances, or your behavior, or a misunderstanding got in the way. How do you correct this?

I can coach you through it. Email me at sdunn@susandunn.cc . One thing to keep in mind is that she will be thinking, "Why should I go back to him?" You have to think this through, from her point of view, and then address it. There are also key phrases if, spoken from the heart, sincerely, and at the right time, can make the difference.

Email me for a consultation at sdunn@susandunn.cc . I like to see lovers reunited.

Isolation and Wellness

Let me help you. One-time free coaching session if you write and mention this blog. Email me at sdunn@susandunn.cc . Phone or email.

I'll be working all during the holidays, including the days. The holidays can be a hard time for us. Do not hesitate to call me. I'm here to help.

Emotional Intelligence is Good for Your Health
HEALTH: PSYCHOLOGY; Researchers Add Sounds of Silence To the Growing List of Health Risks - New York Times

This article was written in 1988 by Daniel Goleman for the N. Y. Times, and still we are only beginning to deal with the idea of emotional intelligence, wellness and social support.It's important to note that if you cannot connect with people emotionally, you can be isolated and lonely in a room full of people.It is hard to ignore data like this. It makes a very compelling case for developing your emotional intelligence.

From the article:

Being cut off from friendships and one's family doubles a person's chances of sickness or death ...Although social scientists have long known there was a strong association between loneliness and illness, it was unclear until recent studies which was the cause and which the effect.But the new studies, summarized in the current issue of Science magazine, show that a lack of social relationships in and of itself heightens people's susceptibility to illness.''

The data shows that people who are isolated but healthy are twice as likely to die over the period of a decade or so as are others in the same health,'' said James House, a sociologist at the Institute of Social Research at University of Michigan, a co-author of the report.

The report, co-written by two other researchers ... summarizes studies ... on the effects isolation has on health that have been done over the last two decades. In the studies, more than 37,000 people were assessed over periods of up to 12 years.... ''It's the 10 to 20 percent of people who say they have nobody with whom they can share their private feelings, or who have close contact with others less than once a week, who are at most risk,'' Dr. House said.

More Risky Than Smoking

In adding to the list of factors that put people at an increased risk for disease, the report said social isolation ''is as significant to mortality rates as smoking, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, obesity and lack of physical exercise.''

''In fact, when age is adjusted for, social isolation is as great or greater a mortality risk than smoking,'' it added.While smoking makes a person about 1.6 times more likely to develop illnesses of all kinds, social isolation makes a person twice as likely to become sick, the researchers said.''After controlling for the effects of physical health, socioeconomic status, smoking, alcohol, exercise, obesity, race, life satisfaction and health care, the studies found that those with few or weak social ties were twice as likely to die as were those with strong ties,'' Dr. House said. 'Isolation is more devastating to men than to women ...

The comforting effect of another person's presence has been shown to lower not just heart rate and blood pressure but also the secretion of fatty acids that can block arteries.

Effect in Brain Theorized

One theory of why the presence of another person might help suggests that there is an effect in the brain from social contact. The theory holds that social contact inhibits activity in the posterior hypothalmic zone of the brain, lowering the rate of secretion of acetylcholine, cortisol and catecholamines, chemicals that trigger more rapid breathing, a quickened heartbeat and other physiological signs of stress.

Signs of Stress: The Body Reacts

Social isolation can have a broad range of physiological effects, notably on the brain and the cardiovascular system, among other major organs. Loneliness seems to lower the effectiveness of the immune system while increasing stress on the heart. One theory holds that social relationships can lower the rate of secretion of certain brain chemicals that cause rapid breathing, a quickened heartbeat and similar signs of stress.

To read the full article, follow the link above.

IF YOU OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW IS SUFFERING FROM ISOLATION, let me help you. Coaching is a great route to go. It is just as effective by phone and email. Someone you can talk to who has your interests at heart. Emotional Intelligence coaching helps us learn the social skills that keep us from being isolated.

Note the effects on MEN.

Take the EQ Course, email me for coaching, sdunn@susandunn.cc .

9 Myths about Being Single at Christmas

9 Myths About Being Single at Christmas

More than 48% of US households are headed by unmarried individuals. The American Association for Single People projects that by 2010, 47.2% of adults will be unmarried. Being single does not mean being alone, not does being in a couple for the holidays insure happiness. Let s dispel some myths!

Myth: Single people are lonely at Christmas.

Reality: No moreso than anyone else. This is a projection of people who fear being alone for the holidays, a fear of the unknown.

Myth: Single people need you to invite them over to your celebration.

Reality: Contrary to perceptions, single people are v. popular at Christmas, and we generally receive lots of invitations. If you want us over, invite us, but because you like us, not because you think we need it.

Myth: Single people don t know what to do for the holidays.

Reality: On the contrary, we are used to planning our social lives actively, good at generating options, and used to making unilateral decisions. We re pros!

Myth: Single people are available to perform certain social tasks during the holiday celebration.

Reality: We like to be cherished guests. We don t like to be the steer among the bulls invited to get people who don t get along off of one another s throats. If you don t like your family and friends, why would we? Can you come over and help out with Aunt Edna? is not an invitation.

Myth: Single people are available to do certain physical tasks during the holiday celebration.

Reality: Nor is this an invitation: It s John s in-laws and I want to impress them. Can you come over and help with the hors d oeuvres? As best-friend, yes; as the only working-guest, absolutely not.

Myth: Single people are misfits, outsiders.

Reality: On the contrary, most of us have highly developed Emotional Intelligence skills; that s the reason we get the rescue us invitations! Outsiders? It s about half the adult world.

Myth: If a single person isn t part of a couple, or doesn t spend Christmas with a couple or family, they will be miserable.

Reality: Come on now. Is it so horrible to celebrate Christmas on a cruise to the Caribbean, coming back rested, tanned and relaxed?

Myth: The only happy way to spend the holidays is if you are a couple or part of a family.

Reality: If that were so, half the articles on the Internet this time of year wouldn t be about how to cope with the annual holiday dinner with the relatives, and the divorce rate in the US wouldn t be 50%.

Myth: Single people have nowhere to go for the holidays.

Reality: Nowhere to go? We have everywhere to go! I loved my years as Mrs. Santa. Now I m on-the-go. I m thinking about Germany this year. There are so many places to go I can t decide!!

In fact I have so many neat ideas for spending Christmas on-your-own, if you re stuck email me!

Susan Dunn, www.susandunn.cc, helps women attract their dream mate, and get married. She is Attract Your Dream Man Expert for a major website, and the author of DATING SUCCESS MANUAL FOR WOMEN, www.webstrategies.cc/ebooklibrary.html.

One-time coaching sessions are fine - by phone or email. Email me at sdunn@susandunn.cc .

Single for the Holidays

We're cranking up again, because the holidays are just around the corner.

Check in here often for tips on how to survive and thrive through the holidays if you're single.

Today's top: If you're an introvert, check out The IntrovertzCoach, run by Nancy Fenn. You can read her BLOG here.

Get some Relationship Coaching and learn how to attract your dream man or woman. Contact me at sdunn@susandunn.cc . We throw the Emotional Intelligence in with all our coaching. It makes your life work better!