Single for the Holidays

Exactly Where to Touch a Naked Man Sex, Love & Life: glamour.com

2009-08-14T21:27:00.001-07:00

Exactly Where to Touch a Naked Man Sex, Love & Life: glamour.com

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Single for the Holidays

2008-11-23T19:10:00.000-08:00

Please go to THE DATING COACH BLOG

Susan Dunn, M.A., is The Dating Coach. Here to help you with the complicated dating scene today. Email her at sdunn@susandunn.cc .

Dating at Midlife

2007-12-15T07:37:00.000-08:00

Midlife: What’s First? writes Carla Herra and she makes some good points.

I direct you also to my dating coaching (www.susandunn.cc/internetdatingcoach.htm) and my ebook, DATING SUCCESS MANUAL FOR WOMEN. www.webstrategies.cc/ebooklibrary.html for greater guidance and clarification.

From the article:

More American women over 45 are single, than ever before. According to the latest population surveys, someone turns 50 every 8 seconds in the U.S. and more than half of that figure is female. According to Christian Science Monitor writer, Marilyn Gardner, To newly minted singles coming out of long marriages, the prospect of dating can be daunting. At the initial phase of dating, the boomer woman may want to ask herself, why date? In other words, what is the objective?

In 2003, AARP conducted a study asking participants why they dated and found the single most important…reason…is to have someone to talk to or do things with. This reason accounted for almost half of the singles in the study. One woman from an email group didnt agree. If these two reasons were the only reason for a woman to date it might be less complicated if she ran around with another woman instead of a man. She wouldn’t have to worry about giving the guy the wrong signals.

If I dated a guy it would also be because I found him sexually attractive, she said.

Other reasons from the study included: to have fun, find a partner, find someone to marry and to fulfill sexual needs.

Understanding why you want to date is an important first step in the
process. This gives you a clear objective and eliminates unnecessary time spent in relationships that have nothing to do with your objective.

In addition to dating motivations, the new single should consider what type of relationship they want. Susan Dunn, EQ coach of Momentum Coaching asks, Companionship without commitment? Is that with or without sex? Do you want long-term and sex? Is that with or without commitment? Friend with benefits? Benefits without friendship? Marriage? Is that marriage with or without fidelity? Once you know what you want, you can learn to ask for what you want. Dont be shy when you begin dating, the time (and heart) you save is your own. Knowing when youre ready to date is just as important as why. Generally, experience and distance from relationships gives a person not just a needed break, but also some insight into their motivations and what they need from a relationship.

Carla Herrera is a freelance writer and I'm pleased to see myself quoted in her article.

For midlife dating coaching, contact me at sdunn@susandunn.cc .

Handling the Stress of the Holidays

2007-12-14T22:39:00.000-08:00

The holidays - how they stir up our emotions. We have memories, fantasies, heartbreak, and other times to work through.

The more you feel like pressing an "agenda" right now, the better it is to table it and just get through this time period. Most of us are carrying more of a load than normal, and also more apt to feel emotionally pressured about things.

Keep your expectations about the holidays in line with reality. In fact the less you expect (demand), the more likely you are to have a great holiday.

Call me for a consultation if you need to let off the steam, vent, or form a strategic plan. Coaching can give you the necessary perspective on what's going on and how to handle it.

New Year's is the time when we all make our reslutions again, and it's a great time for planning and reaching goals.

Want to Get Her Back

2007-12-14T22:35:00.000-08:00

The holiday season kicks up our emotions. It's a time when many men find they let someone go who they really loved. If you're alone for the holidays and wishing you were with that someone special, you need a startegic plan for getting her back.

It isn't as hard as it seems, if you do it right. The most important thing is that you were attracted once. Chances are cirumstances, or your behavior, or a misunderstanding got in the way. How do you correct this?

I can coach you through it. Email me at sdunn@susandunn.cc . One thing to keep in mind is that she will be thinking, "Why should I go back to him?" You have to think this through, from her point of view, and then address it. There are also key phrases if, spoken from the heart, sincerely, and at the right time, can make the difference.

Email me for a consultation at sdunn@susandunn.cc . I like to see lovers reunited.

Heart Attacks at the Holidays

2007-12-03T17:47:00.001-08:00

Free mini coaching sessions - email me at sdunn@susandunn.cc to schedule yours and mention this blog!

Did you read the article on smnbc about about the increase heart attack risk during the holidays? You can read the full article here: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22084747/

From the article:

A particularly heavy meal, especially a high-fat one, stresses the heart as it is digested. Blood pressure and heart rate increase. There's even evidence that the lining of arteries becomes temporarily more clot-prone.

There are also emotional expreiences that come on like a "particularly heavy meal".

So watch your diet during the holidays, including your EMOTIONAL diet. There are things you can do to alleviate the stress, and things you can do that will make it worse.

Email me for free mini session - sdunn@susandunn.cc .

Keep Up With Me

2007-11-26T04:31:00.000-08:00

Keep Up With Me

See my article "9 Myths About Being Single at Christmas" on this blog.

Coping with the Family Fights

2007-11-25T19:10:00.000-08:00

There's a theme running through my emails these days -- family feuds at the holidays. It's hard enough bring alone for the holidays, without anticipating the tension of a family gathering.

NOW THERE'S HELP.

One theme is sibling rivalry -- how YOU handle your sisters/brothers, or how the parent is supposed to. Someone who always jerks your chain, or makes comments. A relative you just don't seem to get along with who keeps provoking you?

One person wrote me that their family Thanksgivings always ended in a fight. Last year the two brothers (both grown adults) broke the china cabinet in the living room in a physical fight. Other families fight verbally, or with silence and innuendos.

There's a lot of tension that makes it unpleasant for all.

Another man wrote me that he was going to get a hotel room this time, so he would have a place to get away to. He told me about the hostility between some of the women in his family.

HERE IS SOME HELP WHERE YOU NEED IT MOST.

Here's an online course to help you through the holidays.
YOU LOVE THEM - NOW LEARN HOW TO GET ALONG WITH THEM

Step-by-step practical help with dealing with the difficult people in your life. Just in time for the holidays. This Internet course covers all Difficult Types.

"I noticed an improvement right away." -- Andrea

"Finally, now, I the "people pleaser" can enjoy MYself too." -- Shelley

$89.99 - Click HERE to order this new ONLINE COURSE INTERACTIVE for instant empowerment. It will be emailed to you.

Learn how to rebound

2007-11-22T01:01:00.000-08:00

Feeling down?
Keep on Boundin'

Single People Get the Short End at Thanksgiving

2007-11-21T13:04:00.000-08:00

From "If you don't have anything better to do," to "When are you going to straighten out your personality and get married," single people have a rough time over the holidays.

Isn't it time you quit taking the bait at family get-togethers?

Now there's the DIFFICULT PEOPLE course just in time for the holidays.
Stop taking the bait and learn to enjoy yourself at these occasions.

You love them, not learn how to get along with them.

Course is on the Internet with unlimimted email support. Click HERE order. You will be contacted immediately by email.

Don't wait. Order it now. Then you'll be prepared.

Hard to be Alone for ths Holidays

2007-11-18T17:19:00.001-08:00

HOW TO SAVE YOURSELF DURING THE HOLIDAYS

Current mood: awake

Category: Life

The holidays are had on us all. I'll be working all through the holidays. Please do not hesitate to call me. That's why I'm here.

Free mini-coaching session - justemail me at sdunn@susandunn.cc and mention this offer.

THE HOLIDAYS LIFESAVER

THE HOLIDAYS ARE COMING ... AND LOOK WHO'S COMING FOR DINNER

From "pull my finger" to "haven't you gotten a boyfriend yet" to "when will you get a job" and "your curtains are duty" -- they'll all be there.

Here's an course to jelp you through the holidays by Susan Dunn the award winning EQ Coach.

YOU LOVE THEM, NOW LEARN HOW TO GET ALONG WITH THEM

Step-by-step practical help with dealing with the difficult people in your life. Just in time for the holidays.This Internet course covers all the Difficult Types.

"I noticed an improvement right away." — Andrea

"Finally, now the "people pleaser" can enjoy MYself too!" ~ Shelley

Clickhere to order this new ONLINE COURSE INTERACTIVE for instant empowerment. It will be emailed to you.89.99.

You love them now learn to get along with them

2007-11-18T16:59:00.000-08:00

THE HOLIDAYS ARE COMING ... AND LOOK WHO'S COMING FOR DINNER

Here's an course to jelp you through the holidays by Susan Dunn the award winning EQ Coach.
YOU LOVE THEM, NOW LEARN HOW TO GET ALONG WITH THEM
Step-by-step practical help with dealing with the difficult people in your life. Just in time for the holidays.This Internet course covers all the Difficult Types.

“I noticed an improvement right away.” — Andrea

“Finally, now the “people pleaser” can enjoy MYself too!” ~ Shelley

$89.99 - CLick here to order this new ONLINE COURSE INTERACTIVE for instant empowerment. It will be emailed to you.

Isolation and Wellness

2007-11-16T15:39:00.000-08:00

Let me help you. One-time free coaching session if you write and mention this blog. Email me at sdunn@susandunn.cc . Phone or email.

I'll be working all during the holidays, including the days. The holidays can be a hard time for us. Do not hesitate to call me. I'm here to help.

Emotional Intelligence is Good for Your Health
HEALTH: PSYCHOLOGY; Researchers Add Sounds of Silence To the Growing List of Health Risks - New York Times

This article was written in 1988 by Daniel Goleman for the N. Y. Times, and still we are only beginning to deal with the idea of emotional intelligence, wellness and social support.It's important to note that if you cannot connect with people emotionally, you can be isolated and lonely in a room full of people.It is hard to ignore data like this. It makes a very compelling case for developing your emotional intelligence.

From the article:

Being cut off from friendships and one's family doubles a person's chances of sickness or death ...Although social scientists have long known there was a strong association between loneliness and illness, it was unclear until recent studies which was the cause and which the effect.But the new studies, summarized in the current issue of Science magazine, show that a lack of social relationships in and of itself heightens people's susceptibility to illness.''
The data shows that people who are isolated but healthy are twice as likely to die over the period of a decade or so as are others in the same health,'' said James House, a sociologist at the Institute of Social Research at University of Michigan, a co-author of the report.

The report, co-written by two other researchers ... summarizes studies ... on the effects isolation has on health that have been done over the last two decades. In the studies, more than 37,000 people were assessed over periods of up to 12 years.... ''It's the 10 to 20 percent of people who say they have nobody with whom they can share their private feelings, or who have close contact with others less than once a week, who are at most risk,'' Dr. House said.

More Risky Than Smoking

In adding to the list of factors that put people at an increased risk for disease, the report said social isolation ''is as significant to mortality rates as smoking, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, obesity and lack of physical exercise.''

''In fact, when age is adjusted for, social isolation is as great or greater a mortality risk than smoking,'' it added.While smoking makes a person about 1.6 times more likely to develop illnesses of all kinds, social isolation makes a person twice as likely to become sick, the researchers said.''After controlling for the effects of physical health, socioeconomic status, smoking, alcohol, exercise, obesity, race, life satisfaction and health care, the studies found that those with few or weak social ties were twice as likely to die as were those with strong ties,'' Dr. House said. 'Isolation is more devastating to men than to women ...

The comforting effect of another person's presence has been shown to lower not just heart rate and blood pressure but also the secretion of fatty acids that can block arteries.

Effect in Brain Theorized

One theory of why the presence of another person might help suggests that there is an effect in the brain from social contact. The theory holds that social contact inhibits activity in the posterior hypothalmic zone of the brain, lowering the rate of secretion of acetylcholine, cortisol and catecholamines, chemicals that trigger more rapid breathing, a quickened heartbeat and other physiological signs of stress.

Signs of Stress: The Body Reacts

Social isolation can have a broad range of physiological effects, notably on the brain and the cardiovascular system, among other major organs. Loneliness seems to lower the effectiveness of the immune system while increasing stress on the heart. One theory holds that social relationships can lower the rate of secretion of certain brain chemicals that cause rapid breathing, a quickened heartbeat and similar signs of stress.
To read the full article, follow the link above.

IF YOU OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW IS SUFFERING FROM ISOLATION, let me help you. Coaching is a great route to go. It is just as effective by phone and email. Someone you can talk to who has your interests at heart. Emotional Intelligence coaching helps us learn the social skills that keep us from being isolated.

Note the effects on MEN.

Take the EQ Course, email me for coaching, sdunn@susandunn.cc .

Are You Ready for Marriage?

2007-11-15T09:36:00.000-08:00

Featured article on weddingpath: http://www.weddingpath.com/paths/uk?SMI=24&L=0&CPN=echoes/Issues1To10/readyformarriage/Article

From the article:

The Top 10 Signs You Are Ready For Marriage
by Susan Dunn.

So you've probably already decided to get married, but are you displaying the tell-tale signs that suggest you are ready to settle down?

1. You no longer feel compelled to talk about your ex.

Until you have resolved those issues and laid your previous relationship to rest, attempts to turn the other party into a therapist will make it a "transitional relationship." Don't deliver one, and don't agree to be in one. We often wish there were someone to be with while we go through the grieving and healing process. If we're healthy, however, we don't involve others
in this madness (unless we're paying them by the hour to listen). If the other person colludes with you in this, they're not serious either. When you're ready to date, you're fully present and emotionally available to the new person.

For coaching, email me at sdunn@susandunn.cc .

Single for the Holidays

2007-11-14T18:32:00.000-08:00

Hoping for love this holiday season and beginning to feel a little blue. Let me help you. Coaching for singles on how to cope with the holiday season, where to meet compatible people, how to know if someone is interested in you, how to manage the complicated new dating scene. Also information about SAD (seasonal affective disorder) - many adults suffer this during the winter time when there is less sunlight.

Susan has been chosen Attract Your Dream Partner for expert.com and Adult & Senior Development Expert for SelfGrowth, the largest self help portal on the Internet, rated #1 by google and yahoo.

Why wait? Start now! Email sdunn@susandunn.cc for more information.

It's Better to be Alone Than ...

2007-11-05T12:56:00.000-08:00

Men in Power « intuitive * introverted * creative

Check out this great article on Nancy's blog.

It's an interview with Photographer Harry Benson quoted in the New York Social Diary.

From the blog:
Q: Did you ever photograph Bob Dole, because everyone says he’s really funny?A: Yes, but a terrible temper. And so does Bill Clinton … oh terrible! Goes red! Just screaming and red-faced … eyes bulging!Q: You mean screaming at underlings?A: Maybe, but the underling might be the Secretary of State or somebody!

To read the rest of the article go here: Men in Power « intuitive * introverted * creative

It ends with an EQ tip:

"And then they would stop and they would look at you, and what you must never do is meet their eyes … you’re more like a primate. If you meet their eyes, you’ve had it!"

Word!To learn more about emotional intelligence, nonverbal communication and difficult people, take THE EQ COURSE. You will never regret it!
It's good for anger management, and also for manging the rage of others.

sdunn@susandunn.cc

How to Use the Holidays to Learn

2007-11-02T19:08:00.000-07:00

Friday, November 02, 2007
If you'd like to learn more about your emotions -- get ready for the lessons!

The planet Mars is coming as close to earth as it gets in mid-November. We think we saw it the other night, big and bright. It's fitting because I just read Clousewitz on War, and A History of Warfare, by John Keegan. I also brushed up on my emotional intelligence.

Why? Because Mars is named for the god of War, and war has been around a long time - anger, violence, arguments, conflict - but like any energy, this energy can be used for good things, or bad things. It's self-protective (we fight to protect ourselves or our loved ones, or our possessions), but if you let this energy get out of hand, or misinterpret or over-react to threats, you miss all the better ways to manifest your "warrior spirit."

In the coming weeks we will have the holidays and the political scene, football, our relationships (or lack of them), and our work situations to explore this energy with. How you experience the holidays will depend on how prepared you are -- emotionally. It is a time of intense extremes. Coaching can help you keep perspective. I'll be available all through the holidays for sessions. Email me at sdunn@susandunn.cc .

This intense time of year can make us more prone to temper tantrums, outbursts, violence, and even cruelty. But it can also bring fighting spirit for good things, bravery and even heroic acts.Our emotional energy needs to be understood and modulated.

Beware of:
Addictions rearing their ugly heads
All the negative emotions - anger, guilt, worry and fear
Extreme highs and extreme lows
Fighting
Over-reactions - including rescuing and over-helping
Increased stress from hiding anger and negative energy we don't know how to deal with
Intense startups that exhaust us and then peter our (one-week exercise program, the 2-day "diet")
Fanaticism and proselytizing
Stress, stress, stress - chemicals that exhaust and stress you and related health problems, physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.

Remember that unless you trap them, emotions come and go. Don't focus on the downside, keep centered, focus on the good, and "just say no" to the emotional rollercoaster. (Remember that "what goes up, must come down" and keep it level.) In other words don't focus on what you fear and/or want to avoid; that gives it power and traps it. Focus instead on good outcomes and positive things.

Email me @ sdunn@susandunn.cc for my TIPS FOR COPING with THE HOLIDAYS.

Email consultation, phone, THE EQ COURSE

Alone for Thanksgiving

2007-10-27T01:35:00.000-07:00

From today's mailbag:

I'm a single woman and here what I did. Last Thanksgiving, I invited my niece to come visit. She hadn't been to my hometown, San Antonio, and I knew she'd enjoy the sightseeing. Since it was just the two of us, we decided to work at an animal shelter on the day of Thanksgiving, because she's a big animal activist. So we called ahead of time to make sure they could use our help, and the Volunteer Director said, sure come ahead.

We fed some of the animals and did some cleaning up. After several hours we came home and turkey was ready. It was very a meaningful day for us both.

Share your stories about being single on Thanksgiving. Email them to me at sdunn@susandunn.cc and I'll post them.

_________________
Want to sttract your dream partner. Let me coach you. I've worked with hundreds of women, and more than a few have ended up getting married! One-time sessions, month contracts, flexible hours, email and/or phone.

9 Myths about Being Single at Christmas

2007-10-25T16:35:00.000-07:00

9 Myths About Being Single at Christmas

More than 48% of US households are headed by unmarried individuals. The American Association for Single People projects that by 2010, 47.2% of adults will be unmarried. Being single does not mean being alone, not does being in a couple for the holidays insure happiness. Let s dispel some myths!

Myth: Single people are lonely at Christmas.

Reality: No moreso than anyone else. This is a projection of people who fear being alone for the holidays, a fear of the unknown.

Myth: Single people need you to invite them over to your celebration.

Reality: Contrary to perceptions, single people are v. popular at Christmas, and we generally receive lots of invitations. If you want us over, invite us, but because you like us, not because you think we need it.

Myth: Single people don t know what to do for the holidays.

Reality: On the contrary, we are used to planning our social lives actively, good at generating options, and used to making unilateral decisions. We re pros!

Myth: Single people are available to perform certain social tasks during the holiday celebration.

Reality: We like to be cherished guests. We don t like to be the steer among the bulls invited to get people who don t get along off of one another s throats. If you don t like your family and friends, why would we? Can you come over and help out with Aunt Edna? is not an invitation.

Myth: Single people are available to do certain physical tasks during the holiday celebration.

Reality: Nor is this an invitation: It s John s in-laws and I want to impress them. Can you come over and help with the hors d oeuvres? As best-friend, yes; as the only working-guest, absolutely not.

Myth: Single people are misfits, outsiders.

Reality: On the contrary, most of us have highly developed Emotional Intelligence skills; that s the reason we get the rescue us invitations! Outsiders? It s about half the adult world.

Myth: If a single person isn t part of a couple, or doesn t spend Christmas with a couple or family, they will be miserable.

Reality: Come on now. Is it so horrible to celebrate Christmas on a cruise to the Caribbean, coming back rested, tanned and relaxed?

Myth: The only happy way to spend the holidays is if you are a couple or part of a family.

Reality: If that were so, half the articles on the Internet this time of year wouldn t be about how to cope with the annual holiday dinner with the relatives, and the divorce rate in the US wouldn t be 50%.

Myth: Single people have nowhere to go for the holidays.

Reality: Nowhere to go? We have everywhere to go! I loved my years as Mrs. Santa. Now I m on-the-go. I m thinking about Germany this year. There are so many places to go I can t decide!!

In fact I have so many neat ideas for spending Christmas on-your-own, if you re stuck email me!

Susan Dunn, www.susandunn.cc, helps women attract their dream mate, and get married. She is Attract Your Dream Man Expert for a major website, and the author of DATING SUCCESS MANUAL FOR WOMEN, www.webstrategies.cc/ebooklibrary.html.

One-time coaching sessions are fine - by phone or email. Email me at sdunn@susandunn.cc .

How to Get What You Want

2007-10-21T18:17:00.000-07:00

Ram Dass, spiritual teacher, author and professor said:

"The most exquisite paradox ... as soon as you give it all up, you can have it all. As long as you want power, you can't have it. The minute you don't want power, you'll have more than you ever dream possible."

I've got LOTS of examples of this from clients. Let me show you how, what, when why and where to "give it all up" so you can get what (WHO!) you want. It's what I do - coaching you, so you can get what you want. My specialty is STRATEGY.

P.S. I am collecting EXAMPLES of how when you gave up and quit wanting it you got it. Please send yours. Would love to add it to the collection - sdunn@susandunn.cc .

P.P.S. Timing is everything. Email for free mini-coaching session, mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc/ and mention this offer. Take THE EQ COURSE - anger management, emotional intelliegence, better relationships, more success at work. Why not give this course to a friend or loved one for Christmas? Email me and I will send the lucky recipient a beautiful gift card.

I work all holidays. Yes, Thanksgiving Day, Christmas Eve, etc. Nights and weekends.

Take THE DIFFICULT PEOPLE COURSE now and be prepared for the holidays, because .... guess who's coming to dinner? There are all sorts of testimonials on my website about these courses. They really work. Copied from MySpace.com --Find me on MySpace and be my friend!

Dreading the Holidays? Here's help.

2007-09-29T16:47:00.001-07:00

The pumpkins are coming out on the doorsteps and fall wreaths are appearing on the doors. That means the holidays are coming and you may be getting a feeling in the pit of your stomach.

One of the stressors for some people is the family gatherings. After all, we don't get to choose our families! There may be an uncle that always jerks your chain, or a sister you have trouble getting along with, or maybe your mother is just determined to get everyone to get together and is saying "can't you just get along."

Whatever it is, it's smart to prepare yourself. The EQ Course can help, and also I have a special course called Dealing with Difficult People. To find out more about this course, email me at sdunn@susandunn.cc . It is on the Internet, but it is interactive. You can ask me specific questions by email and dialogue with me about your individual situation.

Here are some of the things people have said you took the course.

"This course got me through it all. Thank you, thank you." -- P.T., Louisiana

"Finally I get it. It wasnt easy for me to see what was going in and like you say ithas been like that for a long time. When I do what it says to do then I'm OK." -- S.D., California

"Thanks for opening my eyes. Now I know how to avoid those touchy areas, and how to keep things from escalating. Very helpful, specific advice and things to say. I will recommend this course to others."

Email me for more information, sdunn@susandunn.cc .
To register for the course on PayPal, go HERE.

PERSONAL COACHING available. One-time sessions are fine. Often that's all it takes. mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc for more information.

Daniel Kobialka Talks about Emotional Intelligence

2007-08-20T19:20:00.000-07:00

The Emotional Intelligence of Music: A Note for the Back-to-Schoolers

"Music to Motivate, Accelerate and Support Learning" is the article appearing on the website of reknowned violinist Daniel Kobialka: Daniel Kobialka Music

And a fitting topic it is, as we approach the beginning of another school year, though it's all the same to us lifetime learners. (We know it contributes to the emotional intelligence competency of resilience.)

On Kobialka's website: "I found years ago that music creates a healing environment. I find Kobialka's to be the best available." -Dr. Bernie Siegel.

Kobialka admits that as he prepares to write about music and learning, he is thinking about emotional intelligence.

From the article:

One concept that keeps popping up in articles and books about the subject, is how music can strengthen emotional intelligence. Daniel Goleman wrote a book on the subject in 1995, and since then there's been quite a buzz around the ideas. In fact, when the Harvard Business Review published an article on emotional intelligence two years ago, it attracted more readers than any other article published in HBR in the last 40 years! **Now that's buzz!

Although, like other "pop concepts" there has been considerable malignment, the idea has firm roots in science. Basically, there is scientific acceptance that there are cognitive (relating to thinking and the brain) and non-cognitive (everything else) intelligences. ... If we define success as a person's ability to act purposefully, think rationally, and deal effectively with his environment, then we immediately realize that how he, his coworkers, and his boss feel also impact the results he is able to achieve.

Kobialka lists some of the emotional intelligence competencies, noting how they inter-relate. He concludes:

"You can see how music that stimulates attention, calms anxiety, tempers over-exuberance, and creates happiness would also motivate, support and accelerate learning."

For more about music and emotional intelligence, see www.susandunn.cc/vivoperlei.htm. Now a coincidence that it is dedicated to a physician and healer, Dr. John J. Alifano, a pianist and composer.

**Get with the buzz - though as you can tell, this is far from the fad du jour. Coaching, Internet courses and ebooks to learn more about emotional intelligence and "ace the EQ exam." 817-734-1471, sdunn@susandunn.cc .

ARE YOU READY FOR THE HOLIDAYS?

2007-08-20T17:13:00.001-07:00

It's that time of year again - and the mailbox is filling up. There's also an increase in dating ... it's just that time of year. Fall is in the air. Or at least we hope it is. Here in Texas, we're glad we seem to have dodged a bullet on Hurricane Dean (and sorry for the Yucatan...)

Well, if you're single at this time, and looking, it's a good time to be looking. Here are some tips for how to meet somebody:

Get out. I know you're heard this before, and if it had worked (you say) you wouldn't still be single, but in one way it's a numbers' games, and in another there's just something about taking action that makes an impression on the Universe ... or something like that.
Are you on MySpace? I'm hearing a lot from people on MySpace!
Take a trip. May be my karma, but I've always met a neat guy on a trip.
Call a girl-friend and make a pact. That you'll do something once a week that furthers your interests in meeting new guys.
Read DATING SUCCESS MANUAL FOR WOMEN - lots of tips in there.
Get a dating coach (I'm happy to help)

Single for the Holidays

2006-11-11T18:08:00.000-08:00

We're cranking up again, because the holidays are just around the corner.

Check in here often for tips on how to survive and thrive through the holidays if you're single.

Today's top: If you're an introvert, check out The IntrovertzCoach, run by Nancy Fenn. You can read her BLOG here.

Get some Relationship Coaching and learn how to attract your dream man or woman. Contact me at sdunn@susandunn.cc . We throw the Emotional Intelligence in with all our coaching. It makes your life work better!

St. Patrick's Day

2006-03-16T20:41:00.000-08:00

HAPPY ST. PATRICKS DAY
Let's celebrate the Irish

IRISH BLESSINGS
May the road rise up to meet you,
May the wind be ever at your back
May the sun shine warm upon your face
And the rain fall softly on your fields
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the hollow of his hand.

IN TIMES OF SORROW

May you see God's light on the path ahead
When the road you walk is dark.
May you always hear,
Even in your hour of sorrow,
The gentle singing of the lark.
When times are hard may hardness
Never turn your heart to stone,
May you always remember
when the shadows fall - -
You do not walk alone.

IRISH PROVERBS

1. People live in each other's shelter.
2. A lock is better than suspicion.
3. A friend's eye is a good mirror.
4. The light heart lives long.
5. It is better to exist unknown to the law.
6. The mills of God grind slowly, but they grind finely.
7. Even a small thorn causes festering.
8. Both your friend and your enemy think you will never die.
9. The wearer best knows where the show pinches.
10. He who gets a name for early-rising can stay abed till noon.
11. There is no luck where there is no discipline.
12. It's not a matter of upper and lower class, but of being up a while and down a while.
13. You've got to do your own growing, no matter how tall your grandfather was.
14. Three diseases without shame: Love, itch and thirst.
15. You must live with a person to know a person. If you want to know me, come live with me.
16. What whiskey will not cure, there is no cure for.
17. Your feet will bring you to where your heart is.
18. A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest.

QUOTES ABOUT THE IRISH

There is one race of people for whom psychoanalysis is of no use whatsoever.
- Sigmund Freud (about the Irish)

Ireland is rich in literature that understands a soul's yearnings, and dancing that understands a happy heart. - Maggie Jackson

I'm troubled, I'm disatisfied. I'm Irish. - Mariane Moore

There is no language like the Irish for soothing and quieting. - John Millington Synge

The Irish would've conquered the world were it not for liquor. - Unknown

When anyone asks me about the Irish character, I say look at the trees. Maimed, stark and misshapen, but ferociously tenacious. - Edna O'Brien

God is good to the Irish, but no one else is. Not even the Irish.

The Irish ignore anything that can't drink or punch.

Being Irish, he had an abiding sense of tragedy, which sustained him through temporary periods of joy.

The British are not happy unless they are miserable, the Irish are not at peace unless they are at war, and the Scots are not at home unless they are abroad. - George Orwell

IRISH TOAST

May your glass be ever full,
May the roof over your head be always strong,
And may you be in heaven
Half an hour before the devil knows you're dead.

IRISH CURSE

May the curse of Mary Malone and her nine blind illegitimate children chase you so far over the hills of Damnation that the Lord himself can't find you with a telescope.

MAY THE LUCK OF THE IRISH BE WITH YOU!
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Here's to my Irish Dad

==========================
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Love Yourself on Valentine's Day

2006-02-13T17:28:00.000-08:00

I'm seeing it all around me. This day can just be really hard when you don't have a Valentine, just lost one, or are fighting with yours.

I just visited an ecard site and was surprised to see several "for your ex" Valentine's cards. I think it would be painful to receive one. What do you think?

Nevertheless, if Valentine's Day for YOU is UP TO YOU, here are some words to ponder. And remember - coaching sessions available by phone. Drop me an email to schedule - sdunn@susandunn.cc .

Remember that your negative self-talk seems to pop up most often when it's needed the least, so talk sweetly to yourself tomorrow.

We all want to feel good about ourselves but many of us go about this in the ways that will never create self-esteem.

Do you believe that you will have high self-esteem when:

. You make a lot of money?

. You achieve a high position in your work?

. You have an expensive car or an expensive home?

. You are famous?

. You find the right relationship?

. You receive approval from the important people in your life?

While all of these can result in momentary good feelings, none of them create a deep and abiding sense of self-esteem.

Self-esteem actually has nothing to do with your achievements or with other people. Self-esteem results from two things regarding your inner relationship with yourself:

. How you see yourself

. How you treat yourself

Richard, a client of mine, is a very successful businessman. He is wealthy, lives is a big house, has expensive cars, a lovely wife and three children. But Richard consulted with me because of his low self-esteem. He was perplexed that he continued to feel so inadequate in spite of all that he had achieved and all that he had.

As we worked together, it became apparent that, no matter what the outer truth was, Richard continued to see himself as the inadequate child his father told him he was. His inner dialogue was often self-critical, just as his father had been with him.
And not only did Richard constantly judge himself as his father had judged him, he treated himself as his father had treated him - ignoring his own feelings and needs. As a result, Richard was always looking to others for the attention and approval that he didn't receive from his father and was not giving to himself. Instead of being a loving parent to the child within him, he was a harsh and inattentive inner parent.

Jackie, another client of mine, is a very successful actress. Yet fame and fortune have not given her self-esteem. No matter how many people tell her how beautiful and talented she is, she still feels inadequate and insecure most of the time. This is
because, on the inner level, Jackie is constantly telling herself that she is stupid. "How could I have made that stupid remark!" "How could I have acted so stupid?" Mirroring her mother's own self-judgments and her judgments toward Jackie,
she is constantly putting herself down. Until Jackie learns to see herself through eyes of truth rather than eyes of judgment, she will continue to feel inadequate and insecure.

It might make it easier to see how you create your own high or low self-esteem if you think of your feeling self as a child within. No matter how much you achieve or how much approval you get from others, if you are treating your inner child badly - by ignoring your feelings and judging yourself - you will continue to feel inadequate. If you continue to see yourself through the distorted eyes of your parents, siblings, peers or teachers, and continue to treat yourself the way they treated you or the way they treated themselves, you will continue to have low
self-esteem. If you open to seeing the truth of who you really are - a beautiful divine soul who just wants to love - then you will treat yourself as you would treat anyone whom you saw as a beautiful divine soul. When you take loving action in your own behalf, you will feel valued rather than inadequate. Loving actions might include:

. Speaking up for yourself with others and telling your truth without blame or judgment in conflict situations.

. Taking care of your body through eating well, getting enough exercise, enough sleep, and so on.

. Creating a balance between work, rest, play and creative time.

. Treating yourself and others with respect and compassion rather than with judgment.

. Attending to - rather than ignoring - your own feelings and needs.

. Taking the time to pray and meditate.

. Choosing to notice your thoughts and practicing inner self-discipline regarding your thoughts.

When taking loving action in your own behalf replaces your inattentive and judgmental behavior toward yourself, you will feel high self-esteem.

About The Author: Margaret Paul, Ph.D., best-selling author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You" and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or email her at mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone Sessions.

Valentine's Day When You're Single

2006-02-12T17:37:00.000-08:00

If you're single, how are you coping with Valentine's Day?

From today's mailbags come various suggestions:

From Mary C. in Seattle, Washington
I was in the grocery store today and of course the first thing you walk in to is the big Valentine's displays. I love fresh flowers. It reminded me of the big bouquet Fred sent me last valentine's. I work in a big office and I thought about just getting myself some. Then I decided not to and just to ignore the whole thing. I'm just going to act like it's not happening.

From Sandara K. in Birmingham, A.
This is the second Valentine's Day since my divorce. This one's easier than last year. I don't have a new boyfriend and it made me sad to look at all the romantic Valentine's cards, so I just don't do it. When I see something that makes me think of something sad, I distract myself. I remember that in your Optimism course.

Albert D. in Dallas, Texas
I'm sending flowers to my new girl friend. I don't like her that much. I'm still in love with Amanda. It will probably get me in trouble, like leading her on. I'm kind of on the spot. But anyway I'm sending her flowers.

Tell us how YOU are coping with Valentine's when you don't have a honey. Send your responses to sdunn@susandunn.cc .

Women Over 50 - Dating

2006-02-12T17:35:00.000-08:00

DATING TIPS FOR WOMEN OVER 50“A Pep Talk for Single Women Over 50 Who are Looking,”
by Susan Dunn, MA, The EQ Coach

There are 97 million Americans over the age of 45, and of those, 40%, or 36.2 million, are single. If you’re over 50 and looking, I have some good news. Like a good coach, I’m going to pump you up!

The ratio of females to males increases with each decade, but does it really matter? No, for two reasons. First, all it takes is one, and a 100% hit is a 100% hit. Secondly, think back to when you were dating in college. How many of those boys would you consider potential for dating? If you’re like me, not one in 50. If you’re dating just to date a warm body, that’s no problem. For serious dating, I’ve always been discriminating, haven’t you? It’s always been “hard” to find the right material, so it’s the same game, just played on a new field.

Emotional intelligence generally increases with age; this is about “life skills.” Older people are better at dating, as they are at just about everything except a few non-consequential motor skills. From experience, maturity, and common sense, sometimes innate, sometimes acquired through the School of Hard Knocks, we interpret reality quickly and correctly. We know how to look in the horse’s mouth.

Likewise, we can maneuver in the social world. We don’t fumble for topics of conversation, faint at the thought of a formal dinner, wonder how to behave at an opera, or think planning a vacation is “hard.” We don’t fall apart when our hose run, and we operate from a deeply centered standpoint, not chasing about the fickle and changing opinions of others. We answer to ourselves. We have lifeskills, aplomb, sophistication, and experience!

We aren’t run by hormones, which is how many mistakes are made, and the good news, the guys aren’t either. According to Trish McDermott, at Match.com, the largest dating site, “The one thing that our research continually shows is that the older a person gets, the more he or she becomes a practical dater, as opposed to being emotionally driven.” This gives both sexes a better chance at a wise choice.

Men in our age range have had a chance to learn what matters, and what makes or breaks a marriage. As one of my clients says, their former wife has trained them in some important areas, as has life, and in some cases, divorce; or they have used poor judgment, married someone unsuitable, and learned the hard way. There’s nothing like being able to eliminate immediately things, people and relationships that don’t work for you and when men can do this, it saves us all time.

Men have explored the sex thing ad nauseum and tend to focus on the bigger picture. One of my male clients told me recently, about a woman he’d been dating, “We’d only get along in bed, where it’s fantastic, but we’d be fighting the rest of the time.” He decided to pass on that one.

Men like to date younger women, but the smart ones, only once or twice. After that, they learn. The odds of a marriage working where the man is 10 or more years older are small, and remember the “practical” thing. We’re all too smart after a certain age to play with a deck stacked against us.

Corollary: there’s a growing interest in men for dating older women. Why? Hey, this is an article for women over 50 and we KNOW why. The hysteria and attitude of women in their 20s and 30s is not appealing. If not fighting outside the bed, it’s banality, histrionics, and the fantasies of the naïve and uninformed.

We don’t ask “Does this make my butt look fat?” or any other fatuous, passive-aggressive, whiny, dependent, obsessed, annoying questions. We’re more likely to ask where the Dow Jones is, or “How do you think Prescott should respond to the allegations of bullying in his office?”

We don’t wake him up in the middle of the night before his big sales meeting, sniveling, “Would you marry someone else if I died?”

Ask any man over the age of 40, and he’ll say he wants “a companion.” For a marriage partner, according to the AARP, people over 50 say “personality” matters the most. Marriage ends up being that 6-hour drive to the kids’ house, and he doesn’t want to listen to a ninny talking about the latest sale at the Gap or what a horrible boss she has, or how unfair her life is. It’s also about the logistics of a well-run life, and he doesn’t want someone who sits on the floor and sobs when the washing machine overflows.

We can handle our emotions. We enjoy them, but aren’t driven by them. We can also modulate them. And we are capable of silence for extended periods of time. We are also unlikely to do the thing men dread them most: make them the sole determination of our happiness. (You will see this repeatedly on Internet profiles.)

Now here are some of the latest stats from the AARP. Nearly half the people 40-69 didn’t have a first-date last year. Statistically, of people in their 50s, 15.4% are divorced, 6.25 have never been married, and 4.4% are widowed. This matters because men who remain embittered and terrified of involvement after a divorce, aren’t datable and should be required to wear warning signs of their backs.

Should this discourage you? No. If you’re a winner, if you have your act together, if you aren’t dragging the past around on your own back, there is someone out there looking for you just as hard as you are for them.
Where to look? Start with places you normally go (opera, theater, museums, SCUBA, hiking) just amp it up. Churches with large memberships are also a good choice. Just be awake when you’re there. Internet dating sites also score high. About half the people over 55 believe it’s possible to meet via the internet and fall I love. It happened to me. I know it’s possible. Match.com has 1.5 million members over the age of 50, the fastest-growing group, with a 65% increase last year.
There are sites that sort by any variable you could care about – religion, age, interests, location. Of special interest is http://www.rightstuffdating.com/v_schools.cfm for those who went to pretigious schools. My alma mater made the cut, maybe yours did too.
Good marriages are between equals. Except in fairytales, successful marriage are between people with similar backgrounds and histories. This means, if you aren’t where you want to be, get busy. Get some coaching, get back in shape and have a makeover, take a good nutraceutical and supplement, and enrich the biggest sex organ – your brain. When you fall in love with learning, you never have a broken heart. You also make your heart and mind a lot more attractive to other people.
Dating over 50 is a competitive game. It requires fitness, skills, and a good coach. Even Tyger Woods can improve his swing with the right coach. Your coach can give you a game plan, workable rules, shorten your learning curve, improve your skills, give perspective and increase your stamina and resilience.
When you’ve heard as many stories as I have, you can see the trends and the ins and outs; also the successes. There truly is a lid for every pot. I could mention movies or books, but I’ll go back to the oldest form of enjoyment, opera. It’s been around hundreds of years, for a reason. Go see Mozart’s “Die Zauberflote,” (The Magic Flute). For every Papageno there’s a Papagena, for every Tamino, a Pamina. It is so sweet the way that works. It’s a game you can win, with a good coach.
So, have good cheer, and good luck!

©Susan Dunn, MA, The EQ Coach, http://www.susandunn.cc, mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc. Susan offers coaching, Internet courses, a blog for singles, ezines, Arbonne nutraceuticals and safe cosmetics, and ebooks for your relationship and professional success. She trains and certifies Wellness and EQ coaches all over the world, and is the founder of Club Vivo Per Lei/I Live for Music. She is the author of “Midlife Dating Survival Manual for Women” and The Rules, a simple and effective system for intelligent midlife dating.
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Valentine's Day is Coming

2006-02-09T17:21:00.000-08:00

LOVE IS IN THE AIR

Well it's in the air now -- Valentine's Day -- an if you're single you might be feeling a little of pain, or maybe a little relief. If you just got out of a bad relationship, you might find it nice to be alone and enjoy some of the things you couldn't when in that relationship. If you're "lonely too long" or just got dumped, it can be painful.

Remember that you have options about how you feel.

You also have options about exposing yourself to what makes you feel bad.

I went for my annual checkup the other day, with a doctor I've known for years. He started right in telling me how bad the news was on the TV and how much it upset him. I had to wonder, "Then why do you watch it." I go for long periods without exposing myself to the news, catching up with friends, or a quick look on the Internet. It keeps me in a cheerier frame of mind being on a "need to know" basis.

Now you can do the same with Valentine's Day. If the thought makes you upset, distract yourself. When something comes up that reminds you of Valentine's Day -- on the Internet, TV, or in your car, focus your mind on something else.

Dwelling doesn't do any good. In fact it does harm. You never know what tomorrow will bring, so enjoy the moment and hope for the best.

So you can choose to cancel Valentine's Day, or you can choose to celebrate it in a loving way yourself. This could be with a relative, friend, alone or with kids.

Enjoy that there's no pressure to produce or participate in a romantic Valentine's Day. Very few people pull one off, after the blush of courting romance, so think about that. Take yourself out for a romantic dinner -- whatever you like best -- alone, or with a friend or friends, and you can be assured that about half the "couples" you see probably aren't having a good a time as you are!

The main thing is, grab the moment, manage the emotions, and enjoy you in the present.

Shop with me online for the Arbonne SPECIALS. It's a great time to get rid of cellulite with the new VANISHING ACT, boost your immune system with a great supplement, treat yourself to a makeup with SAFE MAKEUP that's good for your skin and insides (because it gets absorbed into your bloodstream). We want you to feel good and look good!

Women over 50 Dating

2006-02-08T22:35:00.000-08:00

Single for Valentines

2006-02-06T20:43:00.000-08:00

We're moving into Valentine's week. If you're single, you may be feeling the pressure - wishing it would all go away. Today's tip -- Focus on the now. Focus on what's positive in your life. Know that it's just a day.
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When you're dating, or flirting, you need to know what to look for. Today's guest article, "Signs of Interest," gives us some helpful hints.

When flirting, you should be on the lookout for signs of interest. If you see at least four of the following signs in the body language of the person you are with, it is likely that they are interested in you, and you are being given a green light to move things further!

1. Lengthy eye contact. Eye contact maintained over a period of four seconds or more is unusual between casual acquaintances or friends, but not amongst lovers; and it can be rather intimidating, but if you are flirting with someone and they know that you could be flirting with them, they are sending you an explicit message with the power of eye contact! This could also come from somebody who hates you, but that is unlikely from a stranger.

2. Mirroring. If your posture tends to be similar to that of the other person and tend to do what you do at about the same time that you do it, they are either consciously or unconsciously developing a rapport with you. You can test this by subtly changing one aspect of your posture (the position of an arm, for example) and noticing whether this change is reflected in the other person during the next minute.

3. Where the body and feet are pointing. If you are with someone who is happy to remain with you at the moment, they will generally speaking have turned to face you. If the person wishes they were somewhere else, they will likely have turned away from you, even if they are facing you; look for the legs and feet pointing somewhere else, perhaps even towards a door. Note that this only applies where you are in a one-on-one situation, and doesn't apply between groups of people.

4. Leaning in towards you. Somebody leaning in towards you is displaying a definite sign of interest, possibly even excitement! This is usually accompanied by open arms and legs. Conversely, somebody leaning away from you, perhaps with their arms and legs crossed, is displaying a lack of interest. If they are leaning in towards you and you do the same, you can be sure that something more is likely to happen, because it is very likely to lead to the next stage!

5. Touch. Firstly, if you are close enough to touch easily then that's a good sign. There are several things to look for. Hands resting across a table, on your side of it, that are close enough to touch, typically from a woman, signify interest; she
doesn't want to touch first, but she would like to be touched! Picking off a piece of lint from clothes, whether it exists or not, is another good sign. Touching upper arms when sitting next to each other where it is not especially crowded is often done. Lingering touches send an even stronger flirting signal!

6. Raising eyebrows upon first meeting. This is usually over very quickly, lasting about a quarter of a second. As it happens on first meeting, you need to be quick to look for this one! The longer it lasts, the more interest lies beneath, as it can last for up to a second.

7. They are looking at your face or body other than your eyes, especially your mouth or your erogenous zones. They are probably imagining what it would be like to kiss that part of you!

About The Author: David Thomas is a web publisher with a wide range of interests, including psychology and dating. He publishes articles like this at http://Flirt-Coach.net which you can view for free, and you can add your own comments, giving further advice and turning it into your web site. It's a great place to learn!
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Eating Disorders Week

2006-02-05T17:28:00.000-08:00

WISHES SHE WERE BLOND

Beauty of a Woman
Written by Sam Levinson for his grand-daughter

For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.
For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.
For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.
For beautiful hair, let a child run his or her fingers through it once a day.
For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone.

People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed and redeemed. Never throw anyone out.

Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of each of your arms.

As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, and one for helping others.

The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure she carries, or the way she combs her hair.

The beauty of a woman must be seen from her eyes because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides.

The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole, but the true beauty in woman is reflected in her soul.

It is in the caring that she lovingly gives, that the beauty of a woman grows with passing years.

STATISTICS - A SERIOUS PROBLEM

You're either part of the problem, or part of the solution.
Be aware of what your intentions are.

1. 2 out of 5 women, and 1 out of 5 men would give 3-5 years of their life to achieve their weight goals.
2. In 1970, the average age a girl started dieting in the US was 14. By 1990, the average dieting age had fallen to 8.
3. A study found that women overestimate the size of their hips by 16% and their waists by 25%, yet the same women were able to estimate correctly the width of a box.
4. After viewing images of female fashion models, 7 out of 10 women felt more depressed and angry than prior to vieweing the images.
5. The "ideal" woman, portrayed by models, Miss America, Barbie dolls and movie actresses is 5'5", weighs 100 lbs. and wears a size 5.
6. Young girls in the US who were surveyed were more afraid of becoming fat than they were of nuclear war, cancer, or losing their parents.
7. A 55 year old woman taken to the ER with a stroke, attributed to her habitual
use of ephedra, said, when cautioned against its continued use: "I don't care.
I'd rather die than be fat." "Why," asked the doctor. "Because my husband will leave me if I get fat," she replied.
8. 1 out of 3 women and 1 out of 4 men are on a diet at any given time. 2/3rds
of dieters regain the weight within one year and virtually all regain it within
5 years.
9. 35% of occasional dieters progress into pathological dieting. The diet industry (diet foods, die programs, diet drugs, etc.) takes in over $40 billion each year and continues to grow.
10. When given pictures, 40% of women chose an ideal body that was 20% underweight, and an additional 44% chose an ideal body that was 10% underweight.
11. The average US woman is 5'4" and weighs 140 lbs. The average US modelis 5'11" and weighs 117 lbs.
12. About 5,000,000 people in the US, most of them teenage girls, have anorexia.
One in 10 die of it, half from suicide, and half from medical complications related to the anorexia.
13. Men account for less than 10% of reported cases of anorexia and bulimia, but this figure is on the increase.

From: BODY AWARENESS as part of their campus Body and the Student Wellness Program.

National Eating Disorders and Body Acceptance Week this year is February 26 - March 4.

At CU-Boulder, the goal is to raise awareness about issues related to body image and eating disorders, explore sources of negative body image, and encourage people to accept all individuals (including themselves) as a whole person regardless of appearance.

RESOURCES:
Check out Dove's wonderful Self-Esteem site.
Dove's REAL BEAUTY Campaign
Beautiful ad for little girls

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Single for the Holidays

2006-01-30T06:30:00.000-08:00

"Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons, and you will find that it is to the soul what the water bath is to the body."

~Oliver Wendell Holmes

Shop easily with me online at ARBONNE for natural, life affirming, conscious self care products.

DON'T GO ON A DIET. People who go ON diets, go OFF diets.
CHANGE, with ARBONNE. Figure 8 Weight Loss.

susan dunn, ma
210.496.0678
www.susandunn.cc
Club Vivo Per Lei/I Live for Music
====
WISH I'D THOUGHT OF THIS: To counteract "the most depressing day of the year," noW there is "Belly Laugh Day." Because the most depressing day of the year is the one in which you don't laugh. Check it out and be ready for January 2007: www.bellylaughday.com

Romance and Happy Marriage Myths

2006-01-29T07:56:00.000-08:00

ROMANCE AND HAPPY MARRIAGE MYTHS

This is such a nice little article. What goes around comes around!
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The institution of marriage is surrounded by a number of myths,stories and advice freely offered by people on a daily basis.

Unfortunately, many people listen to and believe these pieces of so-called wisdom to the point where it doesn't help their marriage and it only hinders its growth.

Many of the myths regarding relationships are incredibly damaging and it is unfortunate that they are such common beliefs. Once you understand why certain bits of advice or information can be regarded as myths, you can break through what could be blocking the growth of your marriage.

In fact, you may actually learn to appreciate your spouse and your role in your marriage even more.

Sensationalist television, magazines and talk radio have been key players when it comes to fueling any belief that there is a battle between the sexes happening.

While there are definitively some physical and psychological differences, they are not enough to earn the term 'battle' as a description.

When you allow yourself to consider any kind of battle between the sexes, you risk grouping all men or all women into a certain category and that leads to Stereotyping.

Once you recognize that your partner is a unique individual with a number of positive attributes, you can shed the thought that there should be any type of conflict between the two of you.

Any thought of battle or conflict only leads to lack of communication, misunderstandings and discourages growth in any relationship.

Nice guys finish last is one of the worst possible sayings floating around today.

Whoever thought of that and actually uttered those words must have been feeling truly low and full of self-pity because there simply cannot be any other explanation. Nice guys never finish last.

They may have a longer and harder road sometimes, but it isn't often that you see the bullies and jerks finishing first. If they aren't, who is? It's the nice guys, but they are so nice and gracious you don't hear them bragging about it.

It is also important to note that the word 'nice' doesn't mean 'weak' or ' effeminate' in any way. Nice means socially or conventionally correct; refined or virtuous and not at all negative in any way.

Nice is not another word for push over or spineless. Nice is as close to a 'perfect' man as you can come and they always end up first in line.

Romance is all you need in order to save your relationship is a wonderfully optimistic thought, but not quite accurate.

If simple romance were enough to save a marriage, it would be running wonderfully rampant throughout the world today. Unfortunately, it takes more than simple romance.

If you truly feel love for your spouse and you are expressing it through romance, then it will save your marriage. If you are trying to use romance to buy some time or to placate your spouse, then you are only buying time or placating your spouse.

Your time as a married couple is most likely limited and should be attended to immediately by a professional.

About The Author: How to Easily Transform a Miserable, Lifeless Marriage Relationship into One Filled With Love, Happiness, and Excitement - Just Visit:
marriage-problems.
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Dating Tips-How to Meet New People

2006-01-28T16:23:00.000-08:00

DATING TIPS: HOW TO MEET NEW PEOPLE. GETTING OUT.

There is a saying that claims that you can meet the love of your life everywhere. Even in line in the supermarket, or in a gas station. This is basically true, with just one condition: that you are everywhere.

In order to meet new people you need, for a start, to be around people. You have to get out of your home/office and start interacting. This, of course, doesn't mean that you have to start wearing your best outfit every time you take out the garbage, but it would certainly help to give a quick glance in the mirror before you leave the house and make sure that your hair isn't raging and that there are no leftovers from lunch stuck between your teeth.

Ok, now that you are out, you can start looking. In other words: keep your eyes open. Don't stare at people, and don't give creepy looks to young innocent children, but just look around to explore the world around you.

You might wonder how exactly you can find a relationship this way. Well, once you are open towards the beauties of world, the world opens up to you too. If you don't shut yourself up (with your cell phone, walkman, or even sunglasses) and pay Attention to everything that surrounds you, you will notice fascinating Opportunities that might eventually lead you to even greater
things, and one of those things can be your one true love. (You may also find a new job, come across a new hobby, and make a significant amount of new friends along the way - that is not so bad too.)

The key is openness. Not only keeping your eyes open, but your mind as well. Don't disqualify unfamiliar things before you check them, don't judge every stranger that sits next to you in the bus station in the most severe manner. Welcome all the
beauty and the wanders of the world that surrounds you and you will be surprised to find out the richness it has to offer.

About The Author: Find out reviews of the best online dating services on - ONLINE DATING . Find more precious information about dating here.
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Valentine Resources

2006-01-28T14:56:00.000-08:00

VALENTINE'S DAY IS COMING ... ARE YOU PREPARED? Here are some resources for you.

Article about Single Parents on Valentine's Day

Is music the most important part of a romantic Valentine's celebration? You be the judge. Check out the romantic classical music selections and opera** at Club Vivo Per Lei / I Live for Music romantic music to set the mood. Join Club Vivo. It's free.

**Opera has been around longer than most institutions. Are you curious to know why?

Check out The Top 11 Valentine Gifts. You may find some surprises here.

Looking for Last Minute Valentine Gifts. Jewelry, massages oils, flowers and the like.

Now here's something everyone can use. Learn it now, for when that relationship you've been looking for comes your way. Take the 10 Weeks to A Better Relationship Course It's free.

They say: "This is a step-by-step course that can help the two of you enhance your marriage relationship. Find out why expectations and myths can harm your marriage. Learn how to fight fairly. Check out ways to celebrate your coupleness. Watch movies together. Take the 90-day dialogue challenge. This is a ten-week course, delivered once each week."

You-know-what always needs to be surrounded with plain pure love and affection. Read my ebook How to Sensualize Your Relationship and be prepared next time.
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Is there Bullying in Deputy Prime Minister John Prescott's Office (UK)?

2006-01-26T20:08:00.000-08:00

BULLYING IS SUCH AN UGLY THING. It's especially hard when you're single, and come home to an empty house, or your beloved children, but no adult support.

Le mobbing est un poison lent
Mobbing ist ein leises Gift Zuletzt geändert
The Germans and the French call it "the slow poison."

“Mobbing can be understood as the stressor to beat all stressors,” says Dr. Kenneth Westhaus, U. of Waterloo, author of “Eliminating Professors.” According to him, the typical mob victim is a good-to-high achiever personally invested in a formally secure job who somehow threatens or shames co--workers or managers who then decide to get rid of him or her.

However, bullying is complex, and there are other reasons.

I coach clients on mobbing and bullying, both the abused, and the managers who are trying to identify it early and get rid of it. In my experience, it is often the best workers, serious people, introverts, just plain nice people. When it rears its ugly head, it upsets other workers, demoralizes, demeans, lowers productivity, causes lack of focus, raises stress, and causes increased illness, absenteeism and "presenteeism."

At the human level, it's wrong, wrong to treat people that way. At the corporate level, it can lead to exposure, and if the reputation is established cause current good employees to leave (wouldn't you?) and drive good applicants away. Word gets around, you know. As I was explaining to an HR manager the other day, "No, it is not a 'just get over it' kind of thing."

Has it happened to you? Is it happening to you now? Why does it happen? Read my article, Mobbing & Bullying in the Workplace: Has This Happened to You?

We believe, along with bullying.org that "Everyone has the right to be respected and the responsiblity to respect others."

Read my ebook: "Mobbing, Bullying and What to Do About It"

Today from BBC -- MPs on the committee which covers the work of the Office of the Deputy Prime Minister (OPDM) in the UK are demanding action after Deputy PM John Prescott's department was accused of bullying, with one in 10 workers claiming to have been victimised in the past year.

22% say they've witness unfair behavior.

FROM THE ARTICLE:

"The survey results were revealed in the annual report and accounts of the ODPM, which covers housing, planning, local government and the regions.

"The department should take steps immediately to reinforce the message that bullying and intimidation is unacceptable

"ODPM COMMITTEE REPORT

"The survey found 10% of staff felt they had been bullied in the past year, 8% had experienced discrimination and 6% reported harassment.

"Some 22% of staff had witnessed unfair treatment and a larger proportion of black or black British staff (14%) had experienced discrimination than other staff.

"The survey also found disabled people were more likely to have suffered discrimination and revealed that a third of staff did not know how to report unfair treatment."

The UK and European Union are definitely ahead in the area of bullying and mobbing. There is even a clinic in German that deals exclusively with victims of mobbing and bullying.

To read the whole article go here.

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If this is happening to you and you would like some coaching, please give me a call at 210-496-0678 or email me at sdunn@susandunn.cc . When someone's being mobbed or bullied, you can't think straight - that's part of the strategy. It helps to have an objective person to help give clarification and strategy, someone who's in your corner.

Resources & Information:

jfo.org.uk

Stop Bullying Now
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Want to Write a Book?

2006-01-25T01:13:00.000-08:00

As a single, you probably have a fascinating life. This is a great article about publishing and writing books.

More people every day want to write a book. This article is full of information about book writing and the industry of selling books.

Interview with Penguin Publisher
by Sharif Khan

Mr. David Davidar began his career in journalism and is founder of Penguin Books India. Currently, he is Publisher of Penguin Canada and also is author of the novel, The House of Blue Mangoes.

How did you first get started in the publishing business?

Twenty years ago I was working in Bombay and there was a colleague I knew who had done a publishing course at Harvard. And she said, "Why don't you go there and check it out?" So I came to the States, and I did the course, and at the course was Peter
Mayer, Chairman of Penguin world-wide. He said, "Look you're from India?" (I said "yeah"). He said he was thinking of starting a company in India and asked me, "Would you like to run it?"

I was then twenty-six years old, I'd never done a publishing company in my life, I had little or no idea, but when you're twenty-six years old sometimes you're foolishly confident about your abilities, so I said "yes." I went to Delhi where the office was going to be and I had never been there before, starting from Cambridge, Massachusetts to Delhi - and there was nothing there. There were exactly 3 employees in the first year of operations and they invested ten thousand US dollars in the company in 1986. And that was it... Now Penguin India is Asia's largest English
publishing company and has done over 10 million dollars in sales. It was quite an interesting experience and I had a ball! It kept growing and growing. It's so fascinating... Now every multinational is in India. Penguin was the first.

What project are you particularly proud of as a publisher?

The fact of having created this company (Penguin India). We publish 200 books a year in India in the English language now. We've started publishing in 4 or 5 languages other than English (the first time Penguin has published in any other languages) and
will be 25 years old in five years. Its just been a win-win situation because when we started, it coincided with the boom in Indians becoming global superstars like Vikram Seth, Arundathi Roy, and Upamanyu Chaterji, etc., etc., etc... The whole lot... so it is the #1 company by a long stretch and so that is my greatest pride because I started out as an editor but am now trying to develop companies and just the fact of helping create Penguin India has been enormously satisfying.

Can you tell us about the BUSINESS of publishing? (I think for most people it's a mystery veiled in secrecy and delusions of grandeur).

There is the myth that if you write a novel you'll become rich, famous, attractive to women, or whatever the case may be, but I think that's largely a myth. Very few books break out in a way such as God of Small Things and A Suitable Boy did because its only 1% who get to superstardom because they won a big prize or it's an amazing book and enough readers caught on to the fact. But think of the odds... There are about 100,000 books published every year. How on earth are you going to get each of those books to a reader's attention! Let's say you walk into a bookstore, you
face the first novel that appears and you have no idea what it's about. There is so much competing for your attention. Most novels sell only about 400 or 500 copies. If it's a good seller it will sell 5000 copies if it won an award and got great reviews. It is only superstars that sell more and superstars are very few and
every one knows who they are. The question we need to ask is why are there so few superstars? Why isn't every writer published famous? There isn't enough attention available for these writers. So that TV time, radio time, bookstore sales, all mitigate against every writer getting in.

Two or three industries suffer from the same thing, movie and TV, and music being closest to the book industry. Think of the tens of thousands of artists who've produced CDs and nobody's heard of them, and nobody will hear of them because that is the way the system works. So what happens say if you've written a book and
you approach a publisher? Well normally you approach the publishing house through a literary agent because they are the top filter, and a top agent comes to me and says this is a wonderful book... I'll say I'll read it. But if you approach me directly you probably won't get through many of the sieves... there are assistants, there are people in the mailroom, and there are book manuscripts at the back because of overflow... everyone thinks they can write a book!

Finding a good agent is becoming increasingly tough because they too are inundated with manuscripts as well. The agent comes to us generating interest in a book and we have special editors, one specializes in Canadian writers; she says okay or no, I like it or don't like it. The book is brought to a meeting where she says she wants to pay this kind of money. You have a price on this book say $35 dollars, so the author will get a percentage royalty on every book sold. For a 10% royalty you will get $3.5 dollars on every copy sold. So what we will do, is advance the author,
through his or her agent x amount of money, say $35,000 dollars because we expect to sell 5,000 or 6,000 hardback and 10,000 copies in paperback, so we figure its worth about $35,000. So it's not an outright gift... it's an advance against royalties.
Then hopefully the book is published and lives up to expectations and earns out and the response is we're happy, the author is happy, and the agent is happy... but in 90% of the cases it doesn't earn out the advance and so you're in trouble. Of the 100 books published in Canada, I expect 20 books to support the rest.

Where do you see the Canadian publishing industry heading? How does it compare with what's happening in the Indian publishing industry?

Canada has certain problems and certain advantages like many markets in the world. I'll deal with the problem first. It's a small market. It's 35 million of which 5 million are French speakers, so you can't do much with that size of market. Whereas
America is 200 million plus, UK is over 60 million, Australia is really small, about 20 million. So tens of thousands of books are jostling for attention in this country. Plus you have the major superstore Indigo Chapters which controls over 50% of market, so if they don't support a book it's dead in the water. And there is
immense pressure on them as well because there are so many books pouring in. So these are the problems people have to deal with including the fact that there are lots of writers, agents, lots of publishing houses, everyone competing for that elusive customer. Fortunately, Canadians read quite a lot, but they don't read enough to make everyone prosperous. It is probably very difficult for a writer to break out in a major way unless you are someone like Yan Martel, Michael Ondaatje, Rohinton Mistry, Margaret Attwood, etc., these are people already established and
are stars because they've built up over period of time. Beyond that, it's very tough to break through.

On the positive side, because of the way Canada has been encouraging immigration for the last 30 years, you have the whole world sitting here, and so Canada's stories are quite fresh; whereas writing about one's experiences living in Mississauga
that's where a lot of these books get bogged down because if your domestic experience is not interesting, how will you make your book interesting? Your life is interesting to friends, family, and about a 100 people who know you. That is were most first novels fail because they are so autobiographical, instead of trying to sell a story. Why would people want to read a book unless they're interested in your life?

The interesting thing here is you have people from Somalia, Kosovo, Taiwan, India, and they're all writing books about their own experiences and that's what makes it interesting. So I think Canada has a great future about the stories its writers are
starting to tell. And it is a very good domestic market for its size because per capita people read a lot more here than other countries.

I was once asked at the Canada Book Expo, where I was giving a presentation, what advice can I give aspiring writers. My reply is they should always take risks. There's no point in writing a small, safe, book... it just disappears. Take risk! What do you have to lose? Stretch yourself, write a big, huge, ambitious book! And those are the books that always leave a mark because there's so few around.

The Indian publishing scene in 20 years will be the second or third largest in the world overtaking Canada and Australia; I'm talking about English language publishing. I've heard there are about 300 million Indians using some form of English, so they've already taken over the US and UK, but for the publishing industry you need to use English as first language or frequently because otherwise you're not going to go to the bookstore to buy a book. You might go to a street fair, but you're not my market. That's going to take a while. I think today there are 7 to 8 million Indians who use English effortlessly, so that's about the size of
New Zealand, but because you have next generation teenagers and young people learning English at the speed of light, they are going to join the market in another 5 to 10 years; this generation will continue to be the market, and there's going to
be bit of the previous generation also in the market, so from about 7 to 8 million India will go to 30 to 40 million in the space of 15 to 20 years which means it's just going to explode. It's already the fastest growing market in the world and it's a huge market. Penguin India is fortunate, we came in the beginning so we got in on the ground floor; all we need is to reap the benefits of our earlier labor because this market is growing, while the Canadian market is pretty much static. However, it is growing through some immigration. That is why Canada needs to look out for itself constantly and build its strengths to the world if it's going to keep its economy and lifestyle going.

Who are your heroes?

I started out with heroes and along the way you lose the need to have heroes. I greatly admire my mentor, Peter Mayer, former Chairman of Penguin, Sunny Mehta, who runs Knopf... I greatly admire writers like Vikram Seth, Arundathi Roy, Ondaatje,
Rohinton Mistry... but at some point in your life you stop having heroes. You figure everyone does their best, some people have luck on their side, some people have some advantages, but everyone's a hero.

What makes them heroes in your mind?

They are exceptionally talented, and they have arrived... You know, I was reading a poem by Rudyard Kipling which goes, "If you can fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds' worth of distance run, yours is the Earth and everything that's in it... " Which means you do your best every single moment you can, and if you happen to have the talent as well, then you get to a stage where you are slightly set apart from your peers because you have done things that it is not possible for them to do.

So for example, you have great artists, like the South African writer Coetzee; they've written novels that's not possible for average novelists to write because of their level of skill and level of perception. Why do you read a novel today? You have so many sources to choose from. The reason I think you read a novel today is because the greatest novels give you more truth than non-fiction. Non-fiction is information, non-fiction is argument... The Economist will give you insights, but what fiction gives you is insights into the human condition, the great fiction, not the hundred thousand novels that are published every year. There are very few books like Disgrace or A Suitable Boy or 100 Years of Solitude, my personal favorites, which raise the bar. If you can't do that, why bother? So that's why they are my
heroes.

In terms of publishing, Sunny and Peter have pushed the boundaries of the publishing business and tried to innovate. Anyone who pushes the boundaries needs to be admired. Whether you are a business person, an athlete, or whatever, you need to push the boundaries instead of merely existing. Pearson, the company that owns Penguin, its vision is you need to be "Brave, Imaginative, and Decent." Which are interesting words that carry a lot of meaning, and is what I look for in people. There's lots of people that don't get opportunities, lots of people face much competition, maybe their home situation isn't so great, maybe their work situation isn't so great, so their kind of stuck... but I think people make their own destiny don't they? Yeah, I admire people, but if you ask me whether I have heroes today -
probably not.

Do you have a dream or vision that guides the course of your life?

The thing about vision is it needs to be renewed every day. Because at the end of the day, what does a person want to do? You have a set path which clarifies itself as you go along. You have a set path - this is what I do, this is what I'm good at, and how can I use this to influence events and people within my ambit? And I think narrowly defined within my job description, my vision for Penguin India was to give India a world-class publishing company. I think that vision has been achieved. My vision of Penguin Canada is to make it the best company of its size anywhere in the world.

You only have one chance, make the best of it!
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Sharif Khan (http://www.herosoul.com; sharif@herosoul.com) is a freelance writer, motivational speaker, coach, and author of Psychology of the Hero Soul, an inspirational book on awakening the hero within and developing people's leadership potential. He provides inspirational keynotes and leadership seminars and also helps companies develop empowering content through his copywriting services. To contact Sharif directly, call (416) 417-1259.

Valentine Resources

2006-01-20T18:22:00.000-08:00

I'm Dating on the Internet, Are You?

2006-01-20T08:37:00.000-08:00

IS HE FEEDING YOU A LINE??

I'm dating on the Internet, are you? My friend and fellow coach, Nancy, and I are collecting initial emails. Virtual "lines," if you will. Some you just know are being mass-emailed.

VIRTUAL "LINES" with my comments in paren

Are you always this hot? Your burning up my screen. (misspelledtoo!) [This is a mass-mailing. How do I know? Because he can't keep track and has sent it to me three times in the past 6 months!!!)

A man could get lost in those eyes. [Sweet guy. This was via IM]

You have what I'm looking for. Take a look at my profile and see if you're interested. [I don't like taking orders. That sounds like "Get me a beer." I like the man to do the work early-on. I think this is mass-produced.]

Foxy lady. [please]

Can those eyes be real? [This is coming up a lot for me. Must be that Glamour Photo!]

Write me if you're interested. [No way. Mass-produced by a lazy guy.]

Tell us some you've written, or are getting, and what the response has been. Do you send them out en masse? Do you actually read the man or woman's profile? Let us know.

I must say you're very attractive. I keep coming back. [Nice, I don't think it's mass-produced, but it also a passive statement. While I don't like marching orders, I like a guy who is self-assured enough to assert himself ... like, I'm glad he keeps coming back to look at my photo, but that's like a nice porn site, not dating.]

Email me if you're not an addict, mean-spirited, gold-digging... [It goes on and on. Don't they realize when they write like this it's like saying 'I'm so stupid I've been involved with addicts, mean-spirited people, gold-diggers...' This is a statement about THEM, not anyone else. Immmediate "delete."

I'm new at this. You see, my wife died about two months ago. We were married for 25 years... [It goes on. He has my sympathy, of course, but no way do you date someone so fresh in widowerhood. They are not emotionally available. I'm sure it was personal, not mass produce, and that he's taking that much time (long email) with any number of other women on the site, because he's so lonely, lost, scared and grieving. Sorry, but I want the full-meal deal. I'll pass on this one.]
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Allergy Capital of the Nation

2006-01-17T21:03:00.000-08:00

OVERWHELMED? Stress can make you sick. Try a prescription of emotional intelligence and nutraceuticals!

San Antonio, where I live, is currently one of the allergy hotspots in the nation. Many people are coming down with bronchitis, and even pneumonia. I stay well with Arbonne NUTRACEUTICALS. I recommend DefenseBuilder.
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"WHEN PURE SINCERITY FORMS WITHIN, IT IS OUTWARDLY REALIZED IN OTHER PEOPLE'S HEARTS." -Lao Tzu

We know we attract what we put out there. If you want to change your WORLD, change YOU.

I hear this from clients all the time after they've taken the EQ Alive! Program - -"My whole life has changed."

If you're looking for a new you in the new year, how about coaching? It will speed up your progress.

If you've been putting the same things on your list of resolutions each year, or if you've already broken this year's, isn't that a clue that you need something different. Try coaching! That's what coaching is for.

A new you can start with your makeup. Take a look HERE for the help you need. Arbonne has makeup that can enhance your appearance on the outside as you change on the inside. Arbonne products have pure, natural ingredients, and this is crucial because what you put on your skin is absorbed into your blood stream.

Arbonne also offers a full Figure 8 Weight Loss System

And don't forget those all important nutraceuticals while you're getting in shape. We study EQ for Whole-Health - - physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. Our emotions effect our immune system, and our immune system is our health. Arbonne's nutraceuticals will help you get well and stay well.

Woody Allen's Match Point

2006-01-15T17:06:00.000-08:00

EQ and ARBONNE ... FOR YOUR HEALTH
===========================
OF MEN AND WOMEN, GOOD AND EVIL, EQ AND IQ

There is so much food for thought in this article, and a call, in it's own way for emotional intelligence. "...[T]o be lost in an intellectual fog, trying to reason out the nature of things far larger than our minds. The intellect cannot go there, is the wrong tool..." writes Steven Barnes, in "Woody Allen's 'Match Point' (2005)".

The very first line I ever heard Woody Allen speak was a joke on the Tonight show concerning theological issues, about how, during a divinity test, he cheated by "looking into the soul of the girl sitting next to me." I believe that he used a clip from such a stand up routine in one of his films, perhaps Annie Hall. I honestly don't remember. For decades, Woody has intertwined several basic themes: love and its yearnings. Faith. Talent and success. Human evil and the absence of God in the universe. And he does that thing that humor does: takes pain and fear, turns
them inside out and makes us laugh. But behind the laughter has always been an extraordinarily keen mind and a troubled spirit.

Most of us agree that his marriage to his own step-daughter was a sign of a damaged psyche. Of course, he'd been warning us for decades that he was damaged goods, hadn't he? It wasn't until "Bullets Over Broadway" in which a murderous hit-man is
revealed as a theatrical genius, did it finally hit me that he was obsessed with the question of why evil is not punished in the universe. Why, in fact, success seems to have no connection to the purity of the soul.

In "Crimes and Misdemeaners" he went further, encouraging us to empathize with a man capable of a terrible act.but that film sat on the fence, allowing us to argue about the right and wrong of things, rather than focusing us on the core question which has
obviously chewed at his heart and mind since childhood.

No such mistake in "Match Point." In this film, which I consider one of his very best ever, he tells the story of a social-climbing tennis pro (Jonathan Rhys Meyers) who marries the boss's daughter (Chloe Hewett Wilton) while harboring a passion for his future sister-in-law (Scarlett Johanssen). The bedroom farce takes a rather dark turn (to say the least), leading to an action which very few people could find other
than utterly reprehensible on every conceivable level. And to a diabolically clever ending. The theme, announced from the very beginning is that few of us want to face the fact that so much of life is based on luck. Specifically, luck as opposed to
merit.

But to skip over all further plot details to address this theme, I think it's something of an Easter Egg. Look deeper, and the question is not merely one of luck, but one that asks: "Is there a God in the Universe? If so, what is His nature, and
why is he silent?"

I can't help but think that Woody is asking the wrong question. If, as I suspect, on one level he believes human beings are shallow and evil, and that he himself has achieved massive wealth and fame while deeply flawed and (he suspects) evil in his personal life, then where is the justice in the universe.

First of all, with this film, I found myself believing that Allen is a good man. Flawed, but good. The nature of the questions he has been asking his entire life, as opposed to what we know of his personal life, leads me to think him damaged but not damned. Just a personal opinion.

Secondly, I think that the key is not in "why are the wicked not punished" but the question "what is the nature of a good, successful life"? He has taken a perfectly reasonable approach: a beautiful spouse, wealth, health, public acclaim are a good
life. That evil men and women can achieve this must be deeply troubling to him.

And troubles me not at all. It is possible of course that it is MY philosophy that is shallow, and his that cuts deep. I won't be self-congratulatory, or dogmatic enough to pat myself on the back, but I must stake out a position.

So here it is. I think that external measurements of success are wonderful, but ultimately satisfying only if they match our internal values. And from the cradle, we crave connection to love, to warmth, to that total acceptance we felt from our
mothers, in the womb if nowhere else. And that this craving is totally unconscious, and that we spend the rest of our lives attempting to regain it.

When we sense that our own values and actions could be replicated by the entire world, to its benefit, I think that there is a sense of peace that simply cannot be put into words, a state of grace, of joy that those who have not experienced simply cannot believe in-as sociopaths cannot believe that human beings genuinely experience love and caring for one another. Such poor souls circle in the outer darkness. Say "I love you" to them, and they think "if only you knew what I really was, you wouldn't say that." Or worse, they think "poor, deluded fool, to feel such trivial, false emotions."

Of COURSE it is possible to achieve acclaim, and fame, and health, and hot sex and be evil. Evil is a judgment about things on a spiritual level, not on the level of business (although in general, honesty pays in business) or marriage contracts (you can lie and cheat, and your mate may never discover it) or fitness/health (I've known tremendously fit and long-lived people who were monsters).

Yet and still, Lifewriting asks us to embrace these three qualities as markers of inner worth. Why? Because they are the best, simplest external markers I know of. They are not infallible.

On a personal level, I believe that when our inner values and our outer actions are in alignment, and when those actions and values are transparent, so that we would stand before all mankind and say: "this is who I am. And I would want my children, and your children to be the same, and I am prepared to stand before the universe and say that I would be willing and happy to be treated as I have treated others" that there is a simple peace that comes from this that cannot be replaced by money, or sex, or even life itself.

Those who have been abused, neglected, uncherished, often do not develop the spiritual sensory equipment to find their way to this place. The armies of lethal children found in inner cities around the third world (and sometimes the first world)
attest to this: they have not experienced love, and therefore have no ability to empathize, or care about much beyond survival and simple pleasures.

What IS a good life? In my mind, the correct answer to this needs no God in the universe to punish the wicked, although a life lived in this fashion often opens an awareness (or to be fair, a belief) in the existence of the divine. To be separated
from this sense is to be lost in an intellectual fog, trying to reason out the nature of things far larger than our minds. The intellect cannot go there, is the wrong tool. For decades Allen has tried to reason out his relationship with God, to understand the Holocaust in the framework of his childhood beliefs. I feel terribly sorry for him, and hope that he can forgive the world, and himself, in time to find peace in his life.

But meanwhile, I'm going to enjoy his ruminations. They are brilliant, and heartfelt, and heartbreakingly honest at this point in his life. "Match Point" is another of the best films of 2005, one which, unfortunately, I didn't see until 2006.

In retrospect, 2005 was one heck of a year for movies. I hope 2006 will be as fine.

About The Author: N.Y. Times Bestselling writer Steven Barnes has lectured on story and consciousness from UCLA to the Smithsonian Institute. He is the creator of the Lifewriting whole body/mind writing system. Learn more at: http://www.lifewrite.com
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Single for the Holidays

2006-01-14T07:56:00.000-08:00

"The best defense is a good offense." Get started today with Arbonne's DefenseBuilder, for your health.

THIS IS SO EQ.

"You, you, and you ... panic. The rest of you, come with me."
- U.S. Marine Corp Gunnery Sgt.
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Making the rounds of the Internet, called Military Wisdom. Notice it's not called Military Intelligence. "Wisdom" is in the realm of emotional intelligence. Knowing the enemy is within range is intelligence. Knowing that means you are as well, is Emotional Intelligence.

A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit."
- Army's magazine of preventive maintenance.
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"Aim towards the Enemy."
- Instruction printed on US Rocket Launcher
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"When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend."
- U.S. Marine Corps training manual
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"Cluster bombing from B-52s are very, very accurate. The bombs are guaranteed to always hit the ground."
- USAF Ammo Troop
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"If the enemy is in range, so are you."
- Infantry Journal
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"It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed."
- U.S. Air Force Pilot training manual
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"Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons."
- General MacArthur
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"Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo."
- Infantry Journal
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"Tracers work both ways."
- U.S. Army Ordnance officer
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"Five second fuses only last three seconds."
- Infantry Journal
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Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid."
- David Hackworth
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"If your attack is going too well, your walking into an ambush."
- Infantry Journal
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"No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection."
- Joe Gay
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"Any ship can be a minesweeper... once."
- Anonymous
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"Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do."
- Unknown Marine Recruit
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"Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you."
- Your Buddies
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"If you see a bomb technician running, follow him."
- USAF Ammo Troop
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"Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death... I Shall Fear No Evil. For I am at 80,000 Feet and Climbing."
- At the entrance to the old SR-71 operating base, Kadena, Japan
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"You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3."
- Paul F. Crickmore (test pilot)
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"The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire."
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"Blue water Navy truism: There are more planes in the ocean than submarines in the sky."
--From an old carrier sailor
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"If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's probably a helicopter -- and therefore, unsafe."
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"When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane you always have enough power left
to get you to the scene of the crash."
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"What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots? If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies; If ATC screws up, .... the pilot dies."
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"Never trade luck for skill."
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The three most common expressions (or famous last words) in aviation are: "Why is it doing that?", "Where the hell are we?" and "Oh Shit!"
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"Weather forecasts are horoscopes with numbers."
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"Progress in airline flying: now a flight attendant can get a pilot pregnant."
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"Mankind has a perfect record in aviation; we never left one up there!"
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"Flashlights are tubular metal containers kept in a flight bag for the purpose of storing dead batteries."
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"Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground incapable of understanding or doing anything about it."
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"Just remember, if you crash because of weather, your funeral will be held on a sunny day."
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Advice given to RAF pilots during WWII: "When a prang (crash) seems inevitable, endeavor to strike the softest, cheapest object in the vicinity as slowly and gently as possible."
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"The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely kill you."
- Attributed to Max Stanley (Northrop test pilot)
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"Never fly in the same cockpit with someone braver than you."
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"There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime."
- Sign over squadron ops desk at Davis-Monthan AFB, AZ,
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"If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to."
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Basic Flying Rules: "Try to stay in the middle of the air. Do not go near the edges of it. The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more difficult to fly there."
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As the test pilot climbs out of the experimental aircraft, having torn off the wings and tail in the crash landing, the crash truck arrives, the rescuer sees a bloodied pilot and asks, "What happened?". The pilot's reply: "I don't know, I just got here myself!"
- Attributed to Ray Crandell (Lockheed test pilot)
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Learn how to stay in the middle of the air during your day, with the EQ Alive! Program. It's all about positioning yourself - - emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually.
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Are you an MLM? Position yourself as a certified Preventive Healthcare Coach. Add clout to what you recommend, and enhance your ability to attract and keep customers. Encompass an enormous range of products under your umbrella. Email me for information on the coach training and certification program. sdunn@susandunn.cc or call 210-496-0678.

Be a Preventive Healthcare Coach and Enhance Your Online Marketing

2006-01-12T21:09:00.000-08:00

FROM SUSAN DUNN, PREVENTIVE HEALTHCARE COACH

You can have your own home business and product line as a Preventive Healthcare Coach. Let me train and certify you. Get some muscle in your Internet business, and attract new, long-term customers with the total preventive healthcare approach of coaching. For information, email me at sdunn@susandunn.cc

Get ready for Valentine's Day with a New Look. Check here for total MAKEOVER cosmetics, nutraceuticals and anti-aging skincare products.

TREAT AGING AND DRY SKIN

The pace of modern life takes its toll on our bodies and our skin in myriad ways. More and more we find that we are succumbing to the effects that our polluted atmosphere is having on our skin. Dirt, smoke, grime, and excessive exposure to the
sun all have a serious impact on the health of our skin.

Health and beauty experts the world over, understand the need for effective treatments for aging and dry skin. The treatment of aging and dry skin is not limited to those of us who have reached middle age, when the signs of aging skin are most apparent, but in fact, the treatment of aging and dry skin should be a regular part of everyone's health & beauty regime.

Everyone wants to be healthy and strong; as we age, our continued health and strength is closely related to how we treat our bodies as well as the foods that we eat. Adopting a healthy lifestyle and fitness regime while we are young is easier than trying to switch to healthy living later in life.

Young people are not always aware that their early food choices may affect their health for their entire life. Many American teens live on a steady diet of junk foods; like pizza, ice cream, hash browns, cheeseburgers, candy, sodas and other
unhealthy food. These foods appeal to the taste buds but slowly deplete the body of nutrients and vitamins.

Foods like pizza and soda are harmful to the body because they have a tendency to increase the quantity of fat in the body, but they are also harmful to the overall health of the skin. Sodas in particular and foods with large quantities of fat induce acne, pimples, and patchy skin.

Pimples can seem to a teenager like their worse nightmare. Apart from how they affect the appearance, pimples also increase the likelihood of permanent scarring to the skin. The treatment for aging and dry skin should effectively begin while you are still in your 20's. If viewed from a preventative perspective, the early treatment of aging and dry skin can save one years of anguish later. [See full line of acne products HERE. Used as a system, the effect is synergistic.]

The major reasons for aging of the skin are both internal, as in the genes we inherit from our parents as well as external, from exposure to the sun and other environmental causes. Aging from internal factors begins when we are still in our mid 20's. The signs are not obvious then, but they are present.

As the collagen in our skin starts to deplete, the skin loses elastin, the substance that allows the skin to spring back into place. Dead skin is also not as quickly replaced and new skin cell turnover declines. All of these factors are genetically controlled and must be considered when deciding a treatment method for aging and dry skin.

External factors, such as exposure to the sun leaves the skin vulnerable to heat, radiation and ultraviolet rays. Ultraviolet rays harm the skin and may also be a factor in the development of skin cancer. Over the years, just a few minutes' worth of exposure to the sun daily without protection can result in wrinkles, age spots, freckles, and patchy, rough skin.

Prevention is key in treating aging and dry skin. Although you cannot erase the process of aging and turn it around, you can protect your skin and help it stay younger by following a few simple rules:

- Avoid going into the sun between 10:00am to 4:00pm when the sun is at its strongest.
- Wear a hat to protect your eyes, face and hair from the sun's rays.
- Eat plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables.
- Drink plenty of water

All of these measures are beneficial for the skin. However if you feel that your skin needs more comprehensive treatment you should consider consulting a professional dermatologist who will advise you about the various skin treatments available. Some options may include lasers, radio frequency, chemical fillers,
botox injections, and microdermabrasion.

There are also consumer products on the market that are extremely effective in combating the signs of aging. Skin care specialists are making use of emerging scientific information about how to keep skin looking its best.

A product called RejuvinolT from www.BODeStore.com can be a powerful weapon in the fight against aging says its makers. RejuvinolT is enhanced with advanced anti-oxidants and vitamins, which reduce the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles, and leaves skin firmer, younger-looking, more vibrant and healthier. Hyaluronic Acid, is included in the formula. It is a naturally occurring substance in the body, and one of the most effective moisturizing agents available.

RESOURCE BOX: Visit http://www.HealthandFitnessVitality.com for the latest in Timeless Health and Fitness Tips for 2006. Discover the newest trends at the Fit After Forty Blog. Find them at... Http://www.healthandfitnessvitality.com/blogs/fitnessblog.htm Article courtesy of Kamau Austin, © Copyright 2006

This article is for general information purposes only. Before undertaking any exercise or treatment program always check first with your doctor and health professionals.

Ready for Valentine's Day?

2006-01-10T08:37:00.000-08:00

Valentine's is coming up - - a challenging holiday for singles, yet also for the partner-ed. Increasingly a portion of us are irritated by this holiday and it's seemingly impossible demands. Stay tuned for tips.
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WHAT MUSIC DOES YOUR HEART HERE?

During the research portion of the surgery procedure, the doctor stressed the patient's heart and then had the harpist play for 10 minutes and recorded the response. As predicted, the patient's heart rate slowed and became more regular during the music, and for a short period afterwards.

When told after the surgery of what had happened, the patient said, "I didn't hear the music."

"Your heart did," the doctor replied.

When the patient's son heard there would be a harpist in the operating room, the son tossed off, "Is Gabriel going to be in there with the trumpet?"

Learn more about celestial archetypes (angels) and their instruments here.

Join Club Vivo Per Lei / I Live for Music here and learn more about the beneficial effects of music and emotional intelligence. There is no fee to join.

To harmonize your life and bring balance, take the EQ Alive! Program. Email me at sdunn@susandunn.cc for more information.

Harps soothes, but can it heal?

2006-01-09T09:30:00.000-08:00

To join CLub Vivo Per Lei / I Live for Music, go here (or copy and paste: http://www.susandunn.cc/vivoperlei.htm)

QUESTION: Why is it an archetype that in heaven there are angels playing harps?

ANSWER: Read on.

In Club Vivo Per Lei / I Live for Music, one of our EQ outreach and educational project (free to all subscribers), we realize the soothing and healing powers of music.

As one listener wrote to AllClassical.org, which is FR** and we highly recommend it: "I've been hearing you and the other announcers talk about listening at work. I agree that classical music helps me keep psychologically and emotionally more even keel while I work as a freelance journalist.

"Today I was on an espcially tight deadline and couldn't mess around. Having classical music playing at my desk and in my car helps keep in check my natural tendency to stress out. Keep up the good work on 89.9 FM."

We direct you today to an article on msn entitled, "Harp has power to soothe, but can it heal? Instrument shows potential to synchronize irregular heartbeats."

Jennifer MacKinnon, a physician with a degree in music played the harp for a patient under sedation while doctors observed the effects on heart rhythm in what was aptly described as "some weird sci-fi melding of heaven and high-tech Earth." The
patient had afibrillation, irregular heart-beat.

Interest was whetted when Dr. Amy Goldberger of Harvard Medical School proposed the theory that varied rhythms created by healthy hearts are similar to note patterns in classical music. This impelled Kocheril and MacKinnon to research the notion that music can alleviate some of the mental and physical symptoms of disease.

Bravo! At Club Vivo, we know for sure a tonic of classical music adheres to the first dictum of medicine, the Hoppocratic Oath: "First of all, do no harm."

“People know that music relaxes you. We’re just trying to get more medical validation,” said Dr. MacKinnon... She took up harp-playing at age 10 and as a child, used to play for patients of her father, also a physician."

We discuss in Club Vivo, the common association of healing and music, represented by the archetype of Apollo, the Greek god of Medicine and Music. What's being discussed now was known centuries ago. That's what an archetype is all about, similar to the depiction of angels in heaven playing harps.

Some believe the harp has special propensity for healing because the resonant vibrations from live harp music may be particularly effective at regulating
quivering heart rhythms. [Note it says "live" harp music."] Other musical instruments and recorded music might offer similar benefits, Kocheril said, making a “music prescription” easier to follow. "Potentially, there could be a prescription for music five days a week ... to keep the heart healthy in general and specifically to keep rhythm disorders under control."

There is at least one music therapist who offers her clients an hour of her own live harp playing. She uses it to relieve chronic pain, such as that from osteoarthritis and fibromyalgia.

Bizarre to me, a doctor speculates against the inclusion in the operating room of "the elegant but unwieldy harp" when the room is already accommodating a rash of unwieldy and not elegant equipment.

And being of the right brain sort, well whole-brained, I immediately jump to the hypothesis (which is simply a learning-based speculation which research must go on to "prve") that, knowing doctors as I do, and their affinity for music, the presence of harp playing in the operating room would definitely help the physicians and what helps your doctor helps you, as they are, like it not, known to be a factor in your healing. Not just their hands, but their personalities, their presence. (We recommend and offer a version of the EQ Alive! Program for physicians. Please refer this information.)
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THE REPLAY STORE - - for your music needs

Our Replay store endeavors to make music appreciation accessible to everyone, regardless of your pocketboook.

Please check with me before you order, because I can't seem to keep these in stock, the demand has been so high. Currently I have only one of the "Understanding Opera," which I offer for a bargain price of $77.00

It is our goal to offer you dramatic savings on one of the best experiences you can buy -- tapes and CDs from The Teaching Company.

You'll have an opportunity to learn with the teachers who teach at the schools where a college education costs $100k, and is worth 10 times that. Our gently-used collection gives you the opportunity to enjoy these at incredible savings.

The more you're comfortable with music, the more it can help. Common sense (EQ) would advise that, if you're puzzling about the Italian in "Ave Maria" or "Va'Pensiero" two of the most soothing/inspiring works there are, you won't be relaxed. Learn more. The more you know ... the more you know.
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Now, the Celtic harp music has long enchanted me, and we know that the Irish claim the kingdom of lullabies, which is a heaven unto itself. And what is a lullaby, but the soothing of the most distraught person there is - - a newborn trying to adjust to living on dry land. The Irish have no contenders in the realm of lullabies. My favorite it The Garten Mother's Lullaby.

We recommend My Gentle Harp: Celtic Favorites. Listen to "The Harp that Once Through Tara's Halls." To order, go HERE or copy and paste: http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?t=zglqxrbab.0.0.ym9zae57.0&p=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2Fexec%2Fobidos%2Fredirect%3Ftag%3Dsusandunnmome-20%26creative%3D373653%26camp%3D210949%26link_code%3Dst1%26adid%3D1YG5YPP9EJV5NYQJAHE4%26path%3DASIN%2FB00000IMU8.

In Club Vivo Per Lei / I Live for Music, we're learning more about music and EQ and we invite you to join us today. It's free. My gift to you!

Club Vivo Per Lei is dedicated to a physician, Dr. John J. Alifano, Jr., who practises in Massachusetts, and is an accomplished pianist. His favorite composer is Rachmaninoff, which he plays beautifully. Many may not claim Rachmaninoff to be not necessarily be their "favorite" (Beethoven is the King!), but many consider it the most healing. On Club Vivo you will find an article written by a physician about a patient's experience with Rachmaninoff (also spelled Rachmaninov.)

ON ARKIV MUSIC YOU CAN PICK UP AN AFFORDABLE CD OF RACHMANINOV AND GIVE IT A TRY. (Or copy and paste: http://www.arkivmusic.com/classical/100.jsp?AID=10277616&PID=1814374).

P.S. If Beethoven's not your favorite, and even if he is, let us know. Take the Music Survey. Your opinion counts.
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ARBONNE's Nutraceuticals and anti-aging skin care products, cosmetics with pure natural ingredients - - for your health. For a NEW YOU in the NEW YEAR>

Get Ready for Valentine's Day

2006-01-07T17:16:00.000-08:00

BRING OUT THE BEST IN YOU WITH A MAKEOVER

CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE
Go here for MAKEOVER HELP.ARBONNE offers a full range of makeup that's good for you, easy to order online, and takes into account the important information that what you put on your skin is absorbed into your bloodstream.

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE is all about EMPOWERMENT. As we gear up for the holiday of Valentine's Day, how about a makeover? Go HERE for the products you need.

Arbonne has everything you need to get started, and EQ will speed you on your way. Once you change your mind, all things are possible. Remember, "If it's possible for anyone, it's possible for me."

For EQ coaching, call me at 210-496-0678 or email me at sdunn@susandunn.cc . We recommend the EQ Alive! Program. We work on emotional management, and the LIFESKILLS that will help you formulate realistic, doable goals, and then allow you the emotional competencies to reach them.

Today's article outlines some of the parts of a plan which will help. COACHING is crucial to reaching your goals, so MAKE THE COMMITMENT NOW and email me.

"Article Title: How To Finally Lose Weight Rapidly"

Let's look at the effects and possible complications of obesity:

Obesity increases the risk of developing disease. Possible complications include:
. Heart disease
. High blood pressure
. Cancer
. Diabetes
. Gallbladder disease
. Breathing problems
. Bloating and stomach upsets
. Varicose veins
. Severe psychological problems

In fact, according to some studies, almost 70 percent of heart disease cases in the United States are linked to excess body fat, and obese people are more than twice as likely to develop high blood pressure.

Obese women are at nearly twice the risk for developing breast cancer, and all obese people have an estimated 42 percent higher chance of developing colon cancer.

Almost 80 percent of patients with Type 2, or non-insulin-dependent diabetes mellitus are obese.

The risk of medical complications, particularly heart disease, increases when body fat is distributed around the waist, especially in the abdomen. This type of upper body fat distribution is more common in men than in women.

The social and psychological problems experienced by obese people are also challenging. Discrimination for "fat" people is most likely to occur in educational institutions, employment, and social relationships.

Other psychological effects include stress, nervous tension, boredom, frustration, lack of friends, depression, inferiority complex, and poor self-esteem.

Here are some action steps to take.

1. The Proper Plan

Before taking actions in any problem we encounter, there should always be a plan first. Beginning a task without planning is like building a house without a blueprint or fighting against a basketball team without a team play with your teammates. How can you expect a good outcome?

Losing weight is not at all different from any other situation. It also involves taking action based on proper plans built on good information. The better your plan, the more solid the information it is based on, the more satisfying your result.

2. Setting a Goal

Okay, so your weight is 20% above the considered normal for your height. You tend to eat more than 5 regular meals a day. You're certain that you're physically unfit. Now, the question is, what do you want to happen?

Setting a goal is the first step in planning. Know what you want to accomplish. This way, the road you are taking is clear. You can keep track of your journey - whether or not you are heading in the right direction. With a goal in mind, you are always motivated to finish a task, or in some cases, to start doing it.

3. Be Definite

Setting a specific goal, when planning to lose weight, improves your chances of success. Be clear and definite with what you want happen.

Vague aims such as 'I'd like to be healthier' or 'I need to lose a few kilos,' tend to produce half-hearted efforts and poor results.

Instead, state your goal distinctly: 'I want to lose 2-3 kilos this week and every week' or 'I will trim my waist line from 40" down to 32" by the end of the month.'

If you need to, write it down and put it where you will always see and read it. This way, you'll always be reminded of what you want and need to accomplish by the end of the month, the week, or even the day.

4. Be Realistic

In establishing a definite goal, make sure that it is possible and doable - realistic, in simpler terms.

How can a goal like 'I'll lose 15 lbs in just a week happen if even the most accurate weight-loss diet suggests that you can only burn 6-7 lbs in a week?

Goals need to be sensible so that they can be achieved.

When you set an unrealistic goal, you're setting yourself up for disappointment. Many people give up on their goals because they fail to base their plans on the correct information.

5. Strategizing

After deciding on your goal, the next step is planning how to accomplish it.

Planning involves proper scheduling of activities throughout the whole day for a certain period of time. These include exercises, meals, and rest. It also includes the time these activities should be done, the duration, and in the case of eating meals, the food to be consumed. This way, inappropriate spur-of-the-moments decisions can be avoided.

A proper and effective plan consists of quality time for performing such activities. Give yourself enough time to meet your goals. For example, sleep should be scheduled to last for around 8 hours a day so that you'll be able to get enough rest. Lack of sleep may cause improper eating habit the next day.

Again, plans should be realistic. Include only time and activities you know you can accomplish for a given period of time.

After preparing the plan, write it down since you can't always keep the many details in mind. Post it in a place where you can always see and read it to remind you what your plans are for the day.

Try your best not to skip anything in your scheduled plan. Work on making it happen.

6. Change your mind, change your life

The first step to change is in your mind. Once you can activate a positive intention, the process of change begins. If you really want something to happen, you have to say "yes" to it. Then, and only then, can you see and experience ways in which you can shift your reality.

Saleem Rana is a psychotherapist in Denver, Colorado. If you would like more information on how to rapidly lose weight, you can get it here.

Be sure and watch your nutrition as you lose. Get a good nutraceutical HERE and make sure you get vitamins and minerals you need to support your immune system. Below you will see Arbonne's Weight Loss System, Figure 8, just perfect to speed you on your way.

You see, there is all the help you need to be ready for Valentine's Day ... and the rest of the year.

How to Get That Weight Off

2006-01-06T16:02:00.000-08:00

NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS AND WILL POWER

Did you resolve to lose weight this year? Here's an article from MSN about will power. Combine that with the Arbonne Weight Loss system and you have a winning combination.

Can You Increase Your Willpower?
by Tamim Ansary

Many of us say we'd like to be more well rounded. And, by golly, we achieve this goal during the holidays. Six weeks of gorging and lounging can easily make some of us a little too well rounded.

It's never too early to start thinking about resolutions, or at least get a vague idea or two about making some changes. What's on your list? I'm vowing to get fit, quit watching so much TV, shed some pounds, start a new business ... yadda, yadda, yadda.

The mystery is how to do it. How do you resist that truffle? Where do you get the willpower (or the won't-power, as in I won't eat that truffle)?

For that matter ... What the heck is willpower?

In some circles, it's a bad--or at least an unfashionable--word. Addiction counselors say the whole concept is counterproductive. It makes people blame themselves, damaging their self-esteem, and poor self-esteem makes them weaker.

"Willpower is a negative concept," says Lori Feldman, a psychiatrist who specializes in helping people break bad habits. "I prefer the word motivation, because people can't change a behavior unless they have motivation."

I called Jenny Craig, Fitness USA, and the Habit Abatement Clinic, and they all said the same thing, "We don't use the word willpower. We prefer the word motivation."

The method these folks seem to recommend is that the best way to battle a craving is to fool it or to distract yourself. Crave a truffle? Go ahead, eat ... a carrot. Or go ahead and indulge yourself, not by eating, but by going shopping (if that rings your bell).

So okay, let's say the word willpower is no-good, what about the thing itself? Does willpower exist?

Until recently, no one doubted it. Ancient philosophers such as Plato put the will smack dab at the center of human personality. They believed human action resulted from three forces: reason, desire, and will.

Medieval philosophers had a paradox that seemed to prove the existence of this thing called will. It was called Buridan's ass. It went like this: Suppose you place a donkey halfway between two bales of hay. If it only has reason and desire it won't move at all because it will be pulled equally in opposite directions and will eventually starve. There must, therefore, be a third force. Enter the will.

But 19th-century psychologists such as Sigmund Freud downgraded will and started talking more about drives. To put it simply, Freud located the source of these deep inside the self, where no one could see them except through dreams and neuroses.

In the 20th century, B.F. Skinner argued that we should forget about the inner self because behavior is shaped entirely from the outside by reinforcements. Any behavior followed by a reward gets strengthened. This is the premise of behaviorism, the school of psychology Skinner helped pioneer.

To change your own behavior, Skinner and his colleagues would say, reward yourself each time you do the right thing. (I tried this and it worked! I wanted to quit eating pie, so every time I didn't eat a slice of pie, I rewarded myself with a nice slice of pie. Now I'm giving up pie ten or twelve times a day!)

Can we measure willpower?
Early psychologists worried that willpower was unscientific: It couldn't be seen, touched, or weighed. But neither can intelligence, and psychologists figured out ways to measure that. They can even, they say, rate a person's IQ (intelligence quotient) with a single number, like gas in the brain tank.

That can't be done with willpower. Or can it?

A classic experiment conducted with 4-year-olds seemed to measure what we call willpower. The experiment, which is quite reproducible, went like this.

A child was left alone in a room with a cookie. He was told that he would get two cookies later if he didn't eat the one in front of him. A hidden camera then watched to see how long he held out.

Here's the kicker. The kids in this experiment were tracked afterward, and those with a high resistance to the cookie (a.k.a willpower) generally did better in life.

But is willpower like intelligence? Are we born with a certain WQ (willpower quotient)? If so, how come we criticize people for their lack of willpower? We'd never tell a kid who's struggling with a math problem, "Just have more intelligence," but we say this kind of thing all the time about willpower. "Suck it up, soldier! What's wrong with you? Have some willpower."

The willpower muscle
Some recent experiments suggest that willpower may be like a muscle, at least to the extent that it can tire.

One such experiment was done by Dr. Roy Baumeister of Case Western Reserve University. Baumeister had two groups of people skip a meal. Then he put them in a room with plates of cookies and plates of radishes. Some were allowed to eat cookies. Others had to eat radishes. Later, both groups were given a tedious, exacting task (tracing a complex maze) and told to keep at it as long as they could.

The cookie eaters generally lasted 18 minutes. Those who had been eating radishes (that is, resisting temptation) lasted about nine minutes. Their willpower, it seems, was exhausted.

So if willpower is like a muscle, can it be strengthened? Yes, says Dr. Baumeister and others. One psychologist, Howard Rankin of the Carolina Wellness Center, even runs a willpower-training program.

Baumeister says that to strengthen your willpower, you must exercise it. But don't set yourself up for failure. Start with stuff your out-of-shape will can handle. Hold your breath. Stand on one leg. Write with your left hand, if you're right-handed. Skip a meal. Look for ways to pit willpower against want-power. It's like a weightlifter doing reps.

Learned helplessness
Then there's a theory propounded by University of Pennsylvania cognitive psychologist Martin Seligman. It started with an experiment Seligman witnessed. Two groups of dogs were subjected to a slight shock. One group had a lever they could push to turn the shock off. The other dogs had a lever that didn't do anything.

Next, the psychologists tried to teach these dogs to jump over a little fence. The dogs that had working levers learned it quickly. The others wouldn't even try. They just lay down and gave up.

Seligman believed the dogs had learned to be helpless. And he spent the next 20 years exploring this concept of learned helplessness. He's linked it, among other things, to a person's tendency to give up. He also believes learned helplessness can be unlearned.

This is where I sit up and take notice.

The key, he says, is in a person's explanatory script. What Seligman means by script is that little voice in your head that's always analyzing and explaining what happens to you.

According to Seligman, there are two styles of explanatory script--optimistic and pessimistic. When something good happens, the optimist says, "I did that. I do that kind of thing in many ways. It's a permanent part of who I am." But when a bad thing happens, the optimist says, "It was the situation. And that situation was unique. Anyway, it'll be different next time."

Pessimists use the same scripts; but they blame themselves when things go wrong and refuse to give themselves credit when things go well.

Seligman, like many cognitive psychologists, believes you can change your script, and then your script will change you. To become an optimist, says Seligman, first become aware of your automatic script--catch yourself in the act and see what you're telling yourself. Then, write down what you would be saying say if you were an optimist.

Keep it up and someday, pal, you too will be an optimist. (Isn't that just what an optimist would say?)

Personally, I lean toward the Baumeister plan (the one about exercising the willpower muscle). Break the challenges you're facing into bite-sized pieces. Let's say it's late and you're sleepy, but you have a column on willpower to write. Instead of making yourself write the column, just make yourself go to your desk. Then, just make yourself sit down. And keep going like that, baby step by baby step. It works.

The proof? You're reading it.

Let me and Arbonne help you with your will power, with your resolution. Shop with me online at My Arbonne, for Figure 8 Weight Loss products, and accompanying immune system boosters for your weight loss health, and immune system.

Aging Well - Is it In Your Mind?

2006-01-05T18:34:00.000-08:00

Physical health is not the best indicator of successful aging, says a recent report, attitude is.

POSITIVITY, OPTIMISM, A GOOD ATTITDE - - CALL IT WHAT YOU WILL, IT WORKS.

Optimism is the facilitator of all the EQ competencies, and learning it is part of our EQ Alive! Program. It is a way of thinking and looking at things that influences how you feel. As you know, it isn't what happens to you, it's how you take it, that matters.

In a recent study, Researcher Dilip Jeste, MD, professor of psychiatry and neurosciences at the University of California at San Diego found that "Optimism and effective coping styles were . . .more important to aging successfully than traditional measures of health and wellness. These findings suggest that physical health is not the best indicator of successful aging -- attitude is."

Read the full article here.

Or copy and paste into browser: http://www.webmd.com/content/article/116/112194.htm

EQ is about your total health.

The bird flu has shown up in Turkey with the death of one child and the infection of two others. Read the full story here: http://news.bbc.couk/2/hi/europe/4582654.stm .

Your immune system is your FIRST line of defense against a bacteria (like pneumonia) and your ONLY line of defense against viruses (like bird flu). There are no cures for viruses. They can only treat the symptoms and in most cases right now, this virus is quickly fatal.

NOW is the time to build up your immune system. We recommend Arbonne's DefenseBuilder and/or Get Well Soon Dietary Supplement, scientifically proven to nutritionally support your immune system.

ARBONNE, DEFENSE BUILDER
$18 for a 30 day supply. Shop conveniently with me online.

Bird Flu Kills Boy in Turkey

2006-01-04T21:34:00.000-08:00

BIRD FLU KILLS BOY IN TURKEY

According to the BBC today, a Turkish boy has died of the bird flu in human form, a sister is seriously ill, and a third brother has symptoms. The boys work on a chicken farm. They ate infected poultry they kept at the house.

This is the first time the H5N1 strain has been detected outside east Asia, where it has killed at least 70 people.

Your immune system is your first line of defense against bacteria, and your ONLY line of defense against viruses. There are no cures for viruses (such as bird flu). Check this out with your doctor.

It's best to start building up your immune system now. You can find two products at Arbonne, "Get Well Now" and "Defense Builder". Ask me for more information if you'd like and shop conveniently with me at www.susandunn.myarbonne.com .

Says BBC: "So far the disease appears only to have infected people who live or work closely with birds, but health experts fear it could mutate and spread among human populations as easily as common influenza."

I have been taking DefenseBuilder for some time now. Every year in late December when the cedar pollinates in south Texas, I get a sinus infection (me and a lot of other people). For many, it goes into bronchitis, and pneumonia.

This year was no exception. I was in the doctor's office Christmas Eve day. I got the same medication I always do, but instead of having it linger on, get worse, last a long time, by Christmas Day I felt great and was able to enjoy my holidays. Within two days I was virtually symptom-free.

This is what a good immune system ("good health") can do for you. You will be able to fight many things off. Then, if you do get sick, which still happens, you are more likely to recover fast, and completely.

What about Being Single? Does it Work for You?

2006-01-03T14:44:00.000-08:00

HOW IS YOUR NEW YEAR GOING?

I was reminded this Christmas, as always, that there are worse things to be than single. I went on a cruise in mid-December, a tradition, and there I saw many couples who didn't seem to happy together, and a few that were plain-out miserable.

I ate out at lovely restaurants during the month and saw plenty of couples, some of whom evidence real animosity toward one another.

Have you observed the same thing? This is kind of an EQ thing, a reality-testing thing. We "see" what we're "looking for." One big landmark test in the field of psychology was proving that depressed people scan for sadness, misery, violence, and grief. In a newspaper, for instance, they'll see the obits, and the riot headline. Someone in a happier state might see the side bar on the front page about a rescued cat.

So if you're seeing only ONE THING when you're out with people, think it over. It can be a big clue as to your inner feelings. If you go to a restaurant and see all the happy couples (which enforce your feelings of loneliness), while there are about as many tables around you with miserable married couples, groups of women, groups of men ... try and broaden the picture so you can broaden your outlook.

WHEN YOU'RE READY TO IMPROVE YOUR EQ, PLEASE CALL ME AT 210-496-0678 OR EMAIL ME AT sdunn@susandunn.cc .

Meanwhile, take the DATING & RELATING / Are you Better Off Single Quiz?
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DRY SKIN CAN BE A REAL PROBLEM IN THE WINTER. Several people have mentioned to me itching and scratchy. Of course I recommend ARBONNE PRODUCTS. They carry a full line of nutraceuticals to treat this condition internally; skin care products for you AND YOUR BABY (ARBONNE BABY PRODUCTS HERE), cosmetics that won't make things, worse, lotions, and I'm sure I've left some things out, there's just so much there for you.

Come shop with me online at My Arbonne. The ingredients are pure and natural, and will leave your skin feeling like avocado and rose petals.

Phillipa who's in my sales group says one of her clients bought the NutriMin system** and and footcare products (pampermint) and says her feet are not "soft as a baby's bottom.

BTW, 60,000 people joined Arbonne to buy products last month. Become a consultant and help supply to the tremendous demand.

**It's smart to buy the whole system, like for anti-aging, acne, baby, etc. Why" Because first of all they're designed (Swiss engineered, remember?) to work together in synergy. Secondly, you get a big discount. Then put it on auto-ship and you REALLY get a big discount. Add to that being a consultant, and it could be half-price. Not sure but I'll be glad to check it out for you.

Feeling Good

2006-01-02T17:47:00.000-08:00

For good health, DON'T lower your defenses! Use Arbonne's DefenseBuilder to support your immune system.
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One thing that's hard about being single is the lack of touch. Why does this matter? Because it affects your serotonin levels, which affects your immune system and therefore your health.

I recommend massages for single people (and everyone else). In fact at once in the winter months, I take a cruise to the Caribbean to lap up the sun (with my Arbonne sunscreen on, of course) and also use the spa for massages and facials.

I did some research on serotonin because we're now approaching what one researcher in the UK found to be "the most depressing day of the year". It's in mid-January, halfway between Christmas and Valentine's Day, and also, in the Northern Hemisphere the peak of the well-documented SAD - - Seasonal Affective Disorder.

Many people feel a letdown after Christmas / New Year's probably brought on by emotional things plus a lack of sunlight. This is attributed to reduced serotonin.

Serotonin is a "phenolic amine neurotransmitter C10H12N2O that is a powerful vasoconstrictor and is found especially in the brain, blood serum, and gastric mucosa of mammals." (www.m-w.com) Think of this as ou consider the difference between reptiles and mammals.

We tend to think of feeling angry as being caused by rude drivers, people we don't like, or 100 degree temperatures, and feeling good as being caused by kind people, successful projects, or ice cream cones.

When we're working on our emotional intelligence we work on our self-talk and attributional style (optimism), our communication skills, and empathy, but it's good to remember that we also live in a body and our body is made up of chemicals.

It is believed that our feelings are regulated by neurotransmitters such as serotonin, norepinephrine, and dopamine. Serotonin is most often called the "feel good" neurotransmitter. Here are some things to know about this important mood regulator.

1. Restoring levels of serotonin in the body relieves symptoms of depression and anxiety.

2. Vitamin B6 and magnesium can elevate serotonin. Source: Dr. Allan D. Lieberman, M.D., FAAEM

3. Serotonin receptors decrease significantly with age - up to 55%. Source: Research reported by Carolyn Meltzer, M.D., Assistant Professor of Radiology and Psychiatry, U. of Pittsburgh.

4. Foods high in serotonin are bananas, pumpkin seeds, peanuts, tomatoes, plums, avocados, pineapples, eggplant and walnuts. Source: Roger L. Gould, M.D., U.C.L.A.

5. Anti-depressants work with the serotonin you produce; they don't produce it. Your body produces serotonin through L-tryptophan.

L-Tryptophan is present in pork, duck and turkey -- maybe this is one reason we love Thanksgiving so much! And isn't it wonderful how popular pork loin has become!

6. Research indicates that low levels of serotonin in the brain can lead to underlying inability to handle powerful feelings which can result in impulsive acts, aggressive behaviors, poor judgment, and self-destructive tendencies.

According to the Society for Neuroscience, in experiments, monkeys with less serotonin are the ones who take daring jumps from the trees and injure themselves. Rats low in serontonin do risky things in experiments, and also accept small mediate rewards instead of waiting for a bigger prize.

7. Serotonin can also be enhanced by talk therapy and by aerobic exercise such as jogging or dance. Source: Harvard psychiatrist Joseph Glenmullen, author of "Prozac Backlash." (www.discover.com)

8. Touch increases serotonin during massage and decreases pain levels, improves sleep patterns, decreases fatigue, anxiety, depression, and cortisol levels in fibromyalgia patients. (And maybe in you as well?) International Journal of Neurology 84 (1996):205-217; Journal of Clinical Rheumatology 2 (1996):18-22; International Journal of Neuroscience 86 (1996):197-205 cited @ http://www.healingartsreport.com .

9. Some physicians believe increased light can positively affect serotonin levels. (source: Carol E. Watkins, M.D., psychiatrist). Norman E. Rosenthal, M.D., Chief, Section on Environmental Psychiatry, National Institute of Mental Health, feels that in this regard, intensity of the light is the most critical variable, not spectrum.

However full-spectrum light used in the poultry industry causes chickens to live twice as long, be calmer and less aggressive, and produce eggs 25% lower in cholesterol. Apparently, even human cholesterol levels drop when people are exposed to sunlight.

Non-full-spectrum lighting, which is often used in work places, has been shown to create hormones ACTH and cortisol in levels considered stressful.

10. In sum, part of emotional self-awareness means becoming aware of what physical factors innate to you enhance your mood - the foods you eat, the chemicals you put into your body, the exercise you get or don't get, and your surroundings.

11. It's important to know that what you put on your skin gets absorbed into your blood stream. We recommend that you use lotions and cosmetics and shaving cream that contain pure, natural ingredients such as those available through Arbonne. Gentleman (and you ladies who love your guys), you use shaving cream every day for years and years. I urge you to try Arbonne's shaving cream.

12. No matter how good your physical and emotional health, you need to be proactive and keep your immune system in top shape. It is your FIRST line of defense against bacteria (like pneumonia), and your ONLY line of defense against viruses such as flu, and bird flu. Your emotions directly affect your immune system.

Arbonne's Defense Builder and Get Well Soon Dietary Supplement are scientifically proven to nutritionally support the immune system, and a good neutraceutical such as these can positively effect your health and mood. To order them, go HERE.

12. Some people believe that being around (looking at) water (ocean, river, stream, swimming pool) enhances serotonin. One captain for the Royal Caribbean line ends each cruise saying that research has proven cruises to be beneficial to your health. There sure are a lot of people out staring at the water from horizon to horizon. It
could, however, also be what they're not seeing. Is it any wonder that when you've reached the top you get the office with the windows!
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Take The EQ Alive! Program to bolster your emotional lifestyle. New classes starting weekly beginning the first week in January. Mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc for more information.

Singles: How to Lose Weight

2006-01-01T00:30:00.000-08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

THE #1 RESOLUTION IN THE U.S. IS "LOSE WEIGHT". It's particularly important when you're single and dating, because the #1 request of men on the Internet dating sights is "no extra pounds."

So here's how we do it.

WEIGHT LOSS TIP: DON'T GO HUNGRY,
by guest writer Kathy Burns Millyard

If you're planning to work harder on losing weight in the new year, it will help tremendously if you can figure out how to avoid the most common problem: Hunger.

Many people make the mistake of starting a diet that restricts their food intake, or restricts certain kinds of foods. And many of these diet plans just make you hungry... and that makes weight loss even harder.

This may be hard for you to believe, but certain foods actually make you hungrier. If you can avoid these, you'll go a lot farther with reaching your weight loss goals and resolutions this year.

1. Sugar - Yes, it makes you hungrier. It's sly though... when you first down a can of sugary soda, or grab a doughnut on your way out the door, it seems to kill the hunger almost immediately. This happens though, because it spikes your blood sugar (glucose) levels. Within an hour or two of having that dose of sugar, your glucose levels start dropping drastically again and you start feeling ravenous again.

2. Simple Starches - Pasta, white bread, white rice, and other simple starches are just another form of sugar to your body. They spike your glucose levels quickly, then when your body starts crashing you find yourself hunting through the fridge or visiting the vending machines again.

3. Low Fat - This is one people don't like to hear... but I've tested it personally myself and with my family, plus I've researched it quite a bit. In short, keeping your fat intake too low will cause you to eat more, because it doesn't satiate you. If instead, you increase your fat intake even slightly - with "good" fats of course - you'll find yourself feeling full faster, and staying satiated longer. [Here we recommend you use Arbonne's NutriMin Fatty Acid Supplement. For me, it cuts out all craving for potato chips, mayonnaise and butter AND makes my hair shine!]

In addition to adding a little fat to your eating habits [and the Arbonne's NutriMin Fatty Acid Supplement], one other excellent resource for feeling full longer is fiber. Now, it's not easy to add more fiber to your diet - particularly if you eat from boxes, or use a lot of frozen or microwave meals. Even the "high fiber" cereals you find these days have just 2 or 3 grams of fiber per serving. That's definitely better than the high sugar cereals, but it's not enough. Try eating raw veggies and fruits, and try buying some of the specialized foods that have recently come on the market with additional fiber in them. Quaker Oatmeal for instance, recently released a version of their product which has 6 or 8 grams of fiber per serving, and there are a few other cereals out with as much as 10 grams of fiber per serving.

If you still need help getting additional fiber in your daily eating schedule, try a high quality fiber supplement like ProFibe [or Arbonne's Fiber supplement].

© 2005, Kathy Burns-Millyard - Kathy is a professional published writer who covers a variety of popular topics such as health, fitness, decorating, and gardening. Find more HREF="http://www.ScaleTippers.com">weight loss tips and resources
at ScaleTippers.com
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Give yourself a break. Get ARBONNE'S Figure 9 Weight Loss Program. No ephedra. I love the Chews. Keep them with you and pop one in when you're craving. When you buy the whole package you get an incredible discount. Check it out1
=============
BEFORE
AFTER

The hardest part of the diet is the last 10 lbs., when you've been dieting for a while, and are close to your desired weight. Victor Holtreman did it in just 9 weeks, and in his ebook he tells you how.

"The Last 10 Lbs." is an extremely helpful ebook written by someone who figured out how to do it and tells you how. ORDER WEIGHT LOSS EBOOK HERE, just $12.95.

What you'll find in "The Last 10 Pounds":

· Continual fat loss: How you can keep your body from adapting.
· Setting your goals. How do you figure out what's realistic?
· The best exercises to lose weight quickly.
· What kind of results to expect in what timeframe.
· Determining your baseline.
· You'll learn what to eat.
· You'll learn to determine how much to eat.
· How to lose fat and still enjoy your favorite foods.
· The absolutely critical thing that most people never do.
· How to keep yourself absolutely on track.
· What types of workouts you should be doing.
· How often to work out.

What you will not find:

· This is not a plan that crosses your favorite foods off your list forever.
· This does not involve the use of supplements to boost your metabolism.
· This is not a "lose 10 pounds (of water weight) in 2 days" diet.
· ...or any other kind of "lose fat while you sleep" or whatever else nonsense.

ORDER HERE

If you order, in addition to the eBook you will also receive the following:

--Access to a message board where I will answer your questions, help you with your progress, and where you can discuss the techniques in "The Last 10 Pounds" with others.

--A custom spreadsheet I've developed for tracking your overall weight and body fat loss progress with just two easy measurements done once a week.

--Links to cutting edge fitness resources on the web.

ORDER THE LAST 10 LBS. HERE

To guard your health during the process, order Arbonne supplements and Figure 8 HERE. It's crucial when dieting to make sure you take a good nutraceutical so you'll stay healthy, and DefenseBuilder for your immune system. It's just as important when you're not dieting because we no longer get the nutrition we need from our food.

New Year's Eve

2005-12-30T22:32:00.000-08:00

Best way for singles to get through New Year's Eve and holidays is with a good sense of humor.

Many people like to "cocoon" on NYE, so don't think anything of it if you want to put a fire in the fireplace, some warm slippers on your feet, and curl up with a good opera or a good book tomorrow night. . . and be sound asleep before midnight.

News from the mailbag is that many people are going to just ignore New Year's Eve.

Meanwhile, also from the mailbag, some NYE humor:

==============
ZEN AND THE WISDOM OF LIFE:

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.

2. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

3. Sex is like air -- it's not important unless you aren't getting any.

4. No one is listening until you fart.

5. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

6. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.
That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away, and you have their shoes.

7. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

8. Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

9. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was worth it.

11. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

11. There are two theories about arguing with women. Neither one works.

12. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

13. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night .

===============
"New Year Resolutions 2006"

As we all prepare to start a new year, it is time again to make those ever so important New Year's Resolutions. I have faithfully made such resolutions in the past, and while I haven't been able to keep all of them, I have tried my best to
continue making progress on them year after year. Following is my revised list of . . . "New Year's Resolutions - 2006 Edition":

Resolution #1
2003: I will try to be a better husband to Marge.
2004: I will not leave Marge.
2005: I will try for reconciliation with Marge.
2006: I will try to be a better husband to Wanda.

Resolution #2
2003: I will stop looking at other women.
2004: I will not get involved with Wanda.
2005: I will not let Wanda pressure me into another marriage.
2006: I will stop looking at other women.

Resolution #3
2003: I will not let my boss push me around.
2004: I will not let my sadistic boss drive me to the point of suicide.
2005: I will stick up for my rights when my boss bullies me.
2006: I will tell Dr. Hodger and the group about my boss.

Resolution #4
2003: I will read at least 20 good books a year.
2004: I will read at least 10 books a year.
2005: I will read 5 books a year.
2006: I will finish Space.

Resolution #5
2003: I will not get upset when Charlie and Sam make jokes about my baldness.
2004: I will not get annoyed when Charlie and Sam kid me about my toupee.
2005: I will not lose my temper when they tell the guys I wear a girdle.
2006: I will not speak to Charlie and Sam.

Resolution #6
2003: I will get my weight down below 180.
2004: I will watch my calories until I get below 190.
2005: I will follow my new diet religiously until I get below 200.
2006: I will try to develop a realistic attitude about my weight.

Resolution #7
2003: I will not take a drink before 5:00 p.m.
2004: I will not touch the bottle before noon.
2005: I will not become a "problem drinker".
2006: I will not miss any AA meetings.

Resolution #8
2003: I will not spend my money frivolously.
2004: I will pay off my bank loan promptly.
2005: I will pay off my bank loans promptly.
2006: I will begin making a strong effort to be out of debt by 2008.

Resolution #9
2003: I will see my dentist this year.
2004: I will have my cavities filled this year.
2005: I will have my root canal work done this year.
2006: I will get rid of my denture breath this year.

Resolution #10
2003: I will go to church every Sunday.
2004: I will go to church as often as possible.
2005: I will set aside time each day for prayer and meditation.
2006: I will try to catch the late night sermonette on TV.
=================
"Words With Two Meanings"

1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female.....Any part under a car's hood.
Male........The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female.....Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male........Playing football without a cup.

3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female.....The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male........Leaving a note before taking off for a weekend with the boys.

4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n
Female......A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male.........Not trying to pick up other women while out with one's girlfriend.

5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.v.
Female.....A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male........Anything that can be done while drinking, and ends with sex.

6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female.....An embarrassing by-product of digestion.
Male........A source of entertainment, self-statement male bonding.

7. MAKING LOVE (may-king- luv) n.
Female.....The greatest statement of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male........Call it whatever you want just as long as we end up in bed.

8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht- kon-trohl) n.
Female......A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male.........A device for scanning through all 175 channels every 5 minutes.
============
Start the year off right with ARBONNE. Skincare products, baby care, anti-aging, hormone replacement, immune system builders for people who are conscious, proactive, intelligent, sensitive and who appreciate quality. Products are researched in Switzerland and produced in the US, with pure, natural ingredients. No caffeine, sugar, yeast, scents, ephedra or color. Try DefenseBuilder to prepare for the flu and pneumonia season.

60,000 people joined Arbonne last month! Why not join now? Go HERE to shop online, or to register to become a consultant.

Kiss and Make Up in 2006

2005-12-29T07:29:00.000-08:00

MAKE SOME CHANGES IN 1006

Resolve to work on your emotional intelligence for the New Year and it can help you keep all those other resolutions!

Among a great list of resolutions from msn.com comes this comment from Dr. Ned Hallowell, a psychiatrist in Boston:

"A growing body of evidence shows that nursing a grudge can make you sick. Similar to the stress response, harboring negative thoughts about someone restricts blood flow, decreases oxygen consumption and throws your immune and gastrointestinal system out of whack. You may never forget how your ex dumped you, but you will sleep netter, be more energetic and be happier if you put it behind you."

The article is titled, "Let's Make Out in 2006," and includes the suggestion that you kiss your partner more. This generates the kind of good feelings that combat that stress response.

Here's another great resolution - - avoid baby oil and other impure ingredients found in cosmetics and lotions that can harm you. What you put on your skin is absorbed into your bloodstream.

===========
ARBONNE for your health in the New Year. Don't neglect taking care of yourself physically with good nutraceuticals, cosmetics, lotions, and supplements that help you get well and stay well. Try DefenseBuilder and Get Well Soon Dietary Supplement.

For the full article, go here: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/10410959/site/newsweek .
Graphics on this blog are royalty free from www.clipart.com unless otherwise noted. Images above are from My Arbonne - - click here to buy products or become a consultant.

A Lullaby for the New Year

2005-12-28T14:25:00.000-08:00

THE BEST LULLABIES IN THE WORLD ARE CELTIC

Here's a beautiful site about lamentations, with some poems, writings and audio. The Celtic harp is very soothing.

This is how many feel during this week . . . it's time to say goodbye to another year, some dreams, maybe some other things. It's often a low-energy time, too. We are recovering from all the rigors of Christmas. We're recuping, and preparing for the big burst into the New Year. Get ready, get set, go! Meanwhile, if you feel like cocooning, head your inner wisdom. Put a fire im the fireplace, stroke the cat, take the dog on a nice walk, sit and play with your children quiety . . . just let this time period pass.

Soothing music can be helpful too.

One of the recordings on this lamentations CD is based on the Irish melody "Jail of Clonmel., which is "meant to express the most powerful aspects of being alive, in spite of the losses and challenges we face.

This embrace of the full range of life's gifts is expressed beautifully in the poem 'When Death Comes,' by Mary Oliver:

think of each life as a flower, as common
as a field daisy, and as singular,

and each name a comfortable music in the mouth
tending as all music does, toward silence,

and each body a lion of courage, and something
precious to the earth.

When it's over, I want to say: all my life
I was a bride married to amazement.
I was a bridegroom, taking the world into my arms.

When it's over, I don't want to wonder
if I have made of my life something particular, and real.
I don't want to find myself sighing and frightened
or full of argument.

I don't want to end up simply having visited this world.
==========

ARBONNE Neutraceuticals can help you through the winter months. Get started on the DefenseBuilder and the Get Well Soon Dietary Supplement. They'll bolster your immune system which is your FIRST line of defense against bacteria (like pneumonia), and your ONLY line of defense against viruses (like flu and bird flu). It's true. Ask your doctor.

Order your nutriceuticals, vitamins, hormone replacement, lotion, baby products, all safely with me ONLINE at My Arbonne. (And why not become a distributor for the New Year. Isn't is about time you got your own online business going??)

Single for the Holidays

2005-12-27T16:28:00.000-08:00

Well, we survived Christmas, are in the midst of Hanukkah, and have a really tough one coming up - - New Year's Eve.

Many people, single and married find this a trying holiday. There are different reasons, though I'm not sure anyone really gets quite to the point about it. It just makes me ponder . . . if so many people dislike it, why do we have it? And why would you "celebrate" something you don't like?

Maybe it's too rowdy, too associated with drinking, or rather getting drunk. Many of us just don't like to be around drunk people. We also know, as do the police, that there will be a lot of drunk people driving. That's what the celebration has become to many - - a big drunk.

I know it's frustrating to hostesses, because people tend to show up at 10 pm no matter what time you invite them, like it was an ordeal to get through to midnight and two hours is all they can stand.

One client wrote me about her first New Year's Eve as a divorced woman. She'd been invited to a neighborhood party, which she thought was nice, and then the moment of the "midnight" was "awful" - - everyone reached for their spouse, she was the only single person there. Then some husbands reached for her, and whether it was out of sympathy or interest, that didn't go over so well She said she stayed home for the next 5 New Year's Eve's.

Some of the alternatives in the town where I live would be nice if you like crowds, and aren't concerned about the driving, though I'm afraid you should be. Taxis of course are an alternative for YOU, but not for the others on the road. There's a big fireworks show at Hemisfair Plaza, but driving and parking are a problem.

Our symphony also give a "Night in Old Vienna" with Strauss' walzes which would be lovely were it not, again, for the driving downtown where much of the rowdiness occurs, or the feeder highways into downtown.

So, if you're leery of this occasion you aren't alone. If you feel like settling in with a good book, or taking in an early movie and being home by 10 p.m., you aren't alone.

Send me your ideas and solutions! I'd be interested to hear, and will print them. Mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc .

And now on to the New Year.

ANTI AGING products from ARBONNE will reduce the wear and tear on your skin, making you look years younger. Arbonne products have pure, natural ingredients. Now you can shop safely online with me at My Arbonne. Check out the NutriMin products. I use them and am often mistaken for 10 or more years younger than my age. I swear by them!

Today's guest article, "Anti-Aging - - Look and Feel 10 Years Younger without Drugs and Surgery," is by Chris Chew

Is it possible to look and feel years younger than what you are now without expensive drugs and surgery? Yes, of course you can. Here is how.

. Do Cardio Exercises - When you exercise your cardiovascular system, your heart and lungs get stronger. You will breathe better and oxygen circulates better. You may be able to avoid age related diseases like high blood pressure, stroke and heart problems. Since your blood circulates well, that will put a glow of pink health on your skin and face. And since you are fitter, you won't look tired and haggard. Cardio exercises will also help you to maintain a healthy weight. With low body fat, you will also avoid many age related diseases besides look great and younger.

. Build Muscle - In order to build muscles, you will need to lift weights. Weightlifting with strengthen your bones too and helps prevent other aging diseases like osteoporosis and muscle dystrophy (wasting away of muscles). With cardio exercises, weightlifting and correct eating habits, you will keep your body fat down and owned [sic] an attractive well toned body. This will boost your self esteem and your added confidence will be another look young factor.

. Avoid Direct Sunlight- Always wear at least an SPF 15 sun block when out in the sun even on cloudy days. Sunlight is now known to be one of the main factors of skin aging. Prolong exposure to sunlight will cause wrinkles, skin pigmentation, rough and coarse skin and even skin cancers.

. Vitamins and Antioxidants - Take multi vitamins and antioxidants regularly as a supplement. They will mop up free radicals and improve your general health besides providing better immunity to diseases and great looking skin. [We recommend Arbonne's Defense Builder, Get Well Soon Dietary Supplement and other neutraceuticals, scientifically proven to nutritionally support your immune system.]

. Sleep - Sleep at least 8 hours a day. More even better. Sleep helps your body to recharge and repair itself from stress and work. Your muscles build up from the exercises you have done during your sleep. Furthermore, with enough rest, you will look fresh and radiant. They don't call it "beauty sleep" for nothing right?

. Water - Drink lots and lots of plain water. It will help flush out toxins and waste products and thereby hydrating your skin for a better glow.

. Say No To Cigarettes and Alcohol - Cigarettes and alcohol are a no no if you want smooth beautiful skin. Cigarettes with its many toxins will speed up the aging process. Wrinkles and fine lines on your face and hands will appear even when you are young. Alcohol will dehydrate your skin and you will have with flaking and dry skin. Combine the two together, you will look much older than you really are. Just do all these anti aging and very soon, you will look years younger without surgery or drugs.

About The Author: Chris Chew is a personal trainer who count fashion models, international pageant winners, actors and other celebrities as his clients. He authored "Burn Fat Build Muscles Fast!" ebooks at http://www.sgfitness.com and runs a health and fitness outfit in Singapore http://www.sgfitnessonline.com
============
Give yourself a break with ARBONNE'S anti-aging program.

Merry Christmas!

2005-12-25T06:13:00.000-08:00

BEST WISHES FROM SUSAN DUNN AND STAFF FOR A MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR.

The dawning of another Christmas Day. What's it like where you live? How are you feeling emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually?

Here in San Antonio Texas USA it's a perfect day - - crisp and cold with bright sunshine. I was hoping to be able to have a fire in the fireplace, and this is just the day. (It can be 80 in SA at Christmas.) I have a few more things to prepare for the feast, and family is coming over shortly. Then we have taken rooms down at the beautiful La Mansion on the River. The SA River, a great tourist attraction and boon to us locals, is lit up like the proverbial Christmas tree at night, very festive and beautiful.

I feel like I did a reasonable job at Christmas, keeping some balance. I gave gifts I was pleased with, to the people I wanted to remember. They got delivered on time (I checked), and I stayed within my budget. Physically I got the beginning of a sinus infection as I usually do this time of year, because of the cedar pollen. I'm amazed at how well I'm fighting it off though, and think it must be Arbonne's Defense Builder, which has built up my immune system beautifull. I stepped up the vitamin C, got some rest yesterday, and am feeling much better than I thought I might. Mentally, I took a holiday. I just went with the flow. I devoted my mental energy to enjoying the season - - all the beautiful music! I just went with the flow, not keeping to my usual rigorous schedule of writing and reading. I gave my coaching students a week off. Two of them, however, went ahead and took the final last week and are now certified coaches! Monday night I had a session with Kiran, in Mumbai. She and her partner Harry plan to coach EQ in India in a big way, and it's exciting. She was full of questions about our holiday. I was describing the emotional tone of things the week before Christmas, and she said "It sounds electric."

I always think of those who are extra-stressed at this time of year with their jobs, like postal workers, sales people who must meet a year-end quota, restaurant owners and caterers, doctors and ministers, for instance. I met the postman at the mailbox yesterday and I asked him how it was going. He said they'd be working "until the last package is delivered." He looks like Santa, a middle-aged man with a full white beard and a big smile on his face, and "Santa" he is!

I talked with Phillipa who is selling Arbonne. She is training to become an EQ coach, and wanted to offer her clients the full range of help, including the neutraceuticals. She sold over $1000 of product her first month and is excited there's a young man now at her office who's a walking advertisement. He took the Arbonne program for acne, and she said his face is noticeably improved. It's wonderful to be able to offer things that really help people, isn't it.

As I blog, I am listening to my new CD "Ave Maria" by the Russian male soprano Vyatcheslav Kagan-Paley. It has 121 versions of Ave Maria, including the incredible on written by Giullio Caccinin in the 1500s. His favorite, he says, is the Stravinsky version as it is "filled with Russian religious feeling." He dedicated the album to many, ending with "my dear mother Elizabeth."

Won't you please join our Club Vivo Per Lei / I Live for Music?

Well, time to go light the fire in the fireplace and put the last finishings on the house and meal. It will be another great Christmas. They all are, and some of them have been very different from others!

From the mailbag - - how other singles are spending the holidays:

--"Sidney" is visiting his mother and her husband who are 94 and 95 years old and live in an assisted living community in a resort town. He lives in Hawaii and flew in for the holidays. He said his mother was going to cook, and aside from that, he was there to drive her wherever she wanted to go (she only drives to the grocery these days.) There was a poetry reading Thursday night at the center ("A Child's Christmas in Wales", one of my favorites), and he'd been playing pool with his step-father. Friday night took a woman to dinner he'd met through eHarmony. He made plans to play tennis with her after Christmas, as he continues to build a little social network in this adopted town he visits 3 times a year, to see his mom.

--"Hannah" gave her daughter a trip to Africa for Christmas, and has been enjoying the emails about lions and tents. Hannah's having her son-in-law over for Christmas dinner, and had invited her best friend as well, but as so often happens this time of year, Emily is sick. Her son-in-law is from the Middle East and doesn't know US customs or Christmas. Hannah will sure show him all about it!

--"Edward" got divorced in the fall and still hasn't gotten his smile back. He's been a doctor in a small town for 35 years, and will be having Christmas dinner with the family of one of his patients who has 4 little kids. He's looking forward to being in a family environment. Later he plans to enjoy some beautiful music and play the piano.

--"Mabel" is 92 this year. She comes to San Antonio to live with one of her daughters during the winter. The family is gathering, and Mabel is always in charge of the gravy. So many young women (and older!) don't know how to make the gravy, which many of us think makes the meal! and Mabel is needed and appreciated. She's needed and appreciated for many reasons, but on this day, it will be talked about around THE GRAVY.

--"Anne" had a surprise this year. Her son and daughter-in-law made partial plans for Christmas and are driving to be with her, but at the last minute it turned out many things hadn't been done, so she was busy yesterday at the grocery, putting together a quick feast. She says "It's good to be needed," she said, "and I'm at my best under pressure."

--"Maria" is spending Christmas with her large extended family. Christmas Eve at her dad's, and then over to her mother's today, for Christmas day. She's been divorced a couple of years. Her children are still adjusting, and there were some challenges to attend to last week as they did some 'acting out' with school out-of-session. Maria and her boyfriend were planning to get together the week after Christmas for a getaway, but they haven't been getting along so she doesn't know.

--"Sam" is on a cruise. He's just divorced, has no parents, and didn't want to spend Christmas alone. He knew on the cruise he'd be surrounded by people!

--"Delia" is from the Caribbean, and her husband died 3 years ago and it's still pretty raw. She kept busy during the season selling Arbonne and baking Caribbean rum cakes for her many friends. She'll be with her grown kids today.

--"Mary" is breaking up with her boyfriend. They're living in the same house until next week, when he will drive her across the country to get settled in California. When she gave her two-week notice at work, they told her to leave immediately. It's been stressful for her, but today she is with her family in Minnesota. She and her boyfriend both took the StrengthsFinder(r) profile with me last week, and she said she could now see why they were so incompatible. "I didn't realize how differently we think," she said.

Email me (sdunn@susandunn.cc) if you'd like to take this great profile and learn a lot about yourself, and also have a better understanding of how other people think.

Well, one last thing. Your Christmas card from me! Jacquie Lawson has outdone herself with this one. Enjoy this beautiful holiday card or cut and paste: http://www.jacquielawson.com/viewcard.asp?code=TH34293890

It's Christmas and Some of Us Are Not Like the Others

2005-12-22T14:37:00.000-08:00

Want to spend Christmas in the ER? Of course not. Introverts (and extoverts) need immune system support during the holidays and winter. Check out the neutraceuticals at ARBONNE. We recommend DefenseBuilder and Get Well Soon Dietary Supplement - scientifically proven to nutritionally support your immune system.
==========================
Today's article is by Nancy Fenn, nationally recognized expert on introverts. Introverts make up about 30% of the population in the US, where life is mostly arranged for the convenience and enjoyment of extroverts. If you have any question as to the appropriateness of an activity for introverted children, please email The IntrovertZCoach at nancy@bemyguide.net.

If you're an introvert, or have an introverted partner and/or children, please read this and pass it on.

TIME FOR THE HOLIDAYS AND SOME OF US ARE NOT LIKE THE REST OF US ... How to Care for Your Introverted Kid during a time of year that can be hectic and disturbing to them!
by guest writer and introverts' expert, Nancy Fenn, The IntrovertzCoach. Check out her blog for introverts.

It’s holiday time and we’re all so excited! We can’t wait for get togethers with the family and out of town guests, holiday shopping, cooking, baking and traditions, maybe a visit to Disneyland … tree trimming, carols and New Year’s celebrations with poppers and party hats! What a ball we’re going to have.

Well, some of us, about 70% of us, are going to have a ball. But what about the remainder, the introverts? Introverts make up 30% of the population.

If your child is an introvert, you may actually be torturing him or her with well meaning activities like noisy celebrations, visits to Disneyland, large gatherings of relatives and elaborately staged gift opening routines. Listen to the voices of the introverts I’ve interviewed about “Holiday Time”.

“Disney at the holidays is my biggest nightmare,” said one young introvert. “I’m more afraid of there than of dying, seriously!”

Another commented, “I drive my extroverted husband and daughter crazy. They always insist on surprises … treasure hunts, impromptu visits … God I haaaaaaate that. I just want simple, family oriented celebrations. For them celebrations mean lots of noise and more noise. No! Plus the Disney thing, nooo Disney for me pleeeeeeeeeeease.”

“Holidays?” says another. “I cried and threw up a lot as a kid and now I understand why! Throwing up was a reaction to the stress of just too much stimulus and too much being expected of me in public situations at those times.” An introverted man commented, “Poppers at New Years, augh no! No no no please no. Way too loud and startling. In an ideal world, none would be allowed in a one mile radius of me. Party hats maybe. If people aren't waving them around and cluttering everything up with them they are borderline tolerable, but still distracting and stressful. ”

SAY YES TO SOFT LIGHTS, MUSIC AND TIME TO ENJOY

Another guy volunteered,” Small family gathering is about all I can take. Disney and theme places, oh my gosh. No. Just no. I'm sorry. No, no, no. ! And actually, ideally, maybe not even family either. Ha!”

These introverted adults are able to pick and choose among holiday options and expectations but children are not. Most holiday activities are planned for extroverted children. According to Paul Tieger of PersonalityType.com, extroverted children love jumping into new social situations. They are energized by interaction, love variety and activities and enjoy talking spontaneously (without thinking), yelling, etc.

Introverted children on the other hand like to watch from the idelines. They are energized by having a chance to reflect on things alone (in a room with a door that shuts). They like to concentrate on one thing or person at a time. And they need to think it through before they speak.

say yes to wrapping presents

say no to opening presents with an audience and much drama!

How can you improve on your introverted child’s experience of the holidays? Here are some guidelines for introverted children.

TOP TEN WAYS
TO PROVIDE FOR YOUR INTROVERTED CHILD
AT THE HOLIDAYS

1. Keep social activities to an absolute minimum.

2. Rehearse required social behavior carefully. Introverts are easily humiliated in public. Good byes, hellos, thanks yous and handshakes should be reviewed at home first. Include a few simple words your child can use and leave it at that … such as “Thank you for the nice time, Mrs. Jackson.”

3. Limit noise and lights where possible.

4. Limit size of gatherings.

5. Avoid uncomfortable clothing.

6. Avoid putting child in spotlight for “present opening”.

7. Allow breaks in activities so your child can retreat to a safe place for contemplation and recharging batteries. [Hint: Ask them to walk the dog or throw out the package wrapping trash or maybe peel the oranges for the ambrosia desert later that evening.]

8. Introverts are intensely territorial. If humanly possible, please don’t kick them out of their own room or bed for Aunt Sally or Grandmother Mabel.

9. Introverts are territorial about their own physical space, too. If you can possibly arrange for relatives to look and not touch, that would be very nice. Hugs and smooches are not welcomed by introverted children.

10. Make watching from the sidelines perfectly OK. It is the preferred way for introverts to participate.

This year enjoy your holidays more knowing that your introverted child is comfortable, too. Follow the TOP TEN GUIDELINES for introverted children.

please say no to performances door to door

INSTEAD, SAY YES TO ...

say yes to cooking quietly with granma, parent and sibling

If you have any question as to the appropriateness of an activity for introverted children, please email The IntrovertZCoach at nancy@bemyguide.net.

© nancy r. fenn

What to Do "Alone" at Christmas

2005-12-21T20:13:00.000-08:00

Got some time on your hands. These ideas come from today's mailbag:

1. I planned an evening just for me. Our local radio station was playing "Tristan und Isolde" (the opera). I came home from work and got on my jams. Took a nice warm bath first. Got out my knitting, and a nice glass of wine, put a fire on, and listened for all four hours.

2. Am going to volunteer to serve dinner at homeless shelter. Will make me feel so good to help others.

3. Studying for finals this weekend. I may watch a Christmas special on TV, and am going to hotel for buffet dinner.

4. Fixing dinner for my room-mate and my daughter's husband. My daughter is away on a trip. Just the usual turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes and green peas. Something special for dessert - that'll keep me busy in the kitchen on Christmas Eve.

5. Church service Christmas Eve. My Sunday School class wil sit together. May of us are single. Christmas Day I'm taking my dog for a walk in the park, kind of hiking. Enjoy nature.

6. Crying a lot because i miss him, but it won't last much longer. This Christmas i'm just going to pass on it, and i'm sure next year will be easier. maybe i'll even have a new love by then. thanks for your coaching.
===================

GETTING OVER A BREAKUP AT THE HOLIDAYS

"Feel those Feelings,"
Article by guest write Michael Myerscough

Lately I've had a run of clients having a very hard time getting over the end of a relationship. Coincidentally I'm also in the January edition of Psychologies magazine in an article called 'What becomes of the broken hearted?' Getting over a
relationship can be especially difficult as the holidays roll up so let me share some secrets with you about how to heal. If you're not dealing with a break up currently, but you know someone who is, maybe forwarding this ezine on will help them.

I have a client called Dorothy who's struggling to let go of a relationship with a guy who she'd initially thought was perfect for her. When we first started working together Dorothy was really angry and frustrated that yet again she was going to
have to re-build her love life. The one good thing about those feelings was that they removed any temptation to get straight back into dating.

The first step for any client I work with in this situation is to have them feel their feelings which is an essential part of the healing process. If you're already sick of feeling bad then feel free to skip to the next phase which I outline here:

http://www.therelationshipgym.com/how_to_get_over_a_break_up.htm

Some people really struggle with feeling certain feelings. Some of us are easier with anger, others with grief. Dorothy was more than comfortable with being angry but was very reluctant to admit that her anger was masking her feelings of hurt and
loneliness. Those feelings made her feel vulnerable in a way she resisted furiously. I encouraged her to explore all of her feelings by writing a 'Grief' letter to her ex.

To write your letter take the time to explore what you are going to miss and what you aren't going to miss. What are you angry about? What are you sad about? What do you fear this break up means? What was your part in the break up? What are you always going to love or appreciate about your ex?

This is referred to as a ladder of emotion and it's great to write your letter in the above order. Feel free to use those questions as headers. That said if you need to keep coming back to anger then please do and then work your way back up the ladder again. It's important that you realise that you are never going to send this letter, this way you can explore being totally unreasonable and maybe even, what would previously have been, unbearably open about just how hurt you feel.

Explore these questions in such a way that you can feel all the things you suspect may be true even if you'd rather they weren't. Write the letter as if you were writing it to someone who really cares about how you feel.

It's really important that you take time to do this. Every time you leave a relationship there is a danger that you will harden your heart due to the pain and disappointment. That hardening makes you less attractive and can begin to limit your ability to love.

If you do this properly you'll be able to reconnect with at least some of the love you felt for this person you've parted from. Not in a way that eats at you but in a way that nourishes your sense of having a life worth loving. If you've loved deeply once, then you can do it again. It takes work to keep your heart healthy and open but it's very valuable work.

This is the first step in a process that can take anywhere from days to months and it's a good solid first step. When Dorothy first began to be honest about how sad and lonely she felt she got scared about how overwhelming it felt. As if somehow she
could become lost in the feelings or she'd never feel good again. This process requires you to acknowledge that your feelings are not something to be afraid of. If you're feeling sad you are only sad. It doesn't necessarily mean there's something wrong with your life that must be fixed. Sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is to just acknowledge that you do feel sad.

The end of a relationship is often the death of something you found to be beautiful for a while. That said, no matter how big your grief is, you're going to get through it. You are far bigger than your worst feeling.

Two months on Dorothy has learned a lot about her self and one of her unexpected breakthroughs is that being alone at home no longer makes her feel like there's something wrong with her. Suddenly being alone isn't so scary and from this place she's in a much better position to think about who she'd actually like to make a part of her life. When it comes to Finding Mr. Right the first step is to clear up what's gone on in the past so you can be free of it. Feeling your feelings is the quickest route to healing and the only way out is through. Just remember that even your darkest minute is only 60 seconds long.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tips on getting over a breakup

For the next steps in healing a broken heart visit
http://www.therelationshipgym.com/how_to_get_over_a_break_up.htm

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
© Copyright 2005 The Relationship Gym by Michael Myerscough. All Rights Reserved. May be freely copied and distributed as long as you include the following information: "By Michael Myerscough, professional speaker and relationship success
coach. Michael has lots of great tips, tools and articles on his website that you can use. Visit him at http://www.therelationshipgym.com/ and sign up for the fr*ee
relationship information. "
=================

NutriMinCRE9 System from ARBONNE - -among the many anti-aging products available for you at Arbonne.

Now you can shop with me safely online at My Arbonne and find great products with natural and pure ingredients that really work. Start building your immune system now with DefenseBuilder.

Single for the Holidays?

2005-12-19T17:36:00.000-08:00

IS THIS YOUR FIRST CHRISTMAS ALONE?

Well here's a great quote for you from Picasso:

"I AM ALWAYS DOING THAT WHICH I CANNOT DO, IN ORDER THAT I MAY LEARN HOW TO DO IT."

If this is your first Christmas "alone" after having been married for many years, I know how hard it can be. It's like being on another planet. We don't realize how entwined we are with a partner, in all ways, even if we weren't getting along, until there's a breakup. You may have really no idea how to spend Christmas alone, or what to do.

You may also lack the emotional and mental energy to put something together. You may want to just cancel Christmas and spend the day reading or hiking or something. That's ok. There' no one judging this, hopefully most of all, not YOU.

You see it takes mental and emotional energy - - emotional intelligence - - to create something, and what you have to do is create a new kind of Christmas, after years of maybe doing the same things with the same person or people.

Typically when we divorce, we lose a "family" as well. With the death of a spouse, it may be different in that respect, but still, things are not the same.

If you're still raw emotionally, and heart broken, you have to stay with the feelings, and your real friends will understand. You just may not be able to participate in Christmas at this time.

If you are farther along in your healing, or feel like moving ahead, it's an ideal time to learn to deal with the changes. Your friends and loved ones can help you!

In fact I overheard a wonderful conversation at a restaurant the other night. Two women were dining, and one was saying to the other, "Yes, I know you miss him, but you still need friends. No matter what happens, you need friends. Please come to this party."

I hope the other woman decided to. She looked about 70 and had lost her husband, and her friend was encouraging her to do one of the most important things we can do at such a time - - stay connected. It keeps you from getting too much into the downside of things!

If you don't feel like being with old friends, because of memories, or have lost part of your social network through a divorce, you can be around people by participating in a church, or doing volunteer work at the holidays. Whatever works for you.
============
Music can be very healing at this time, and we invite you to join our active and dedicated CLUB VIVO PER LEI / I LIVE FOR MUSIC. We listened to the Met's broadcast of Rigoletto this past Saturday - - many of us being on car trips, a great time to listen to an opera. The commentarty was just marvelous, all about Verdi's theme of father and daughter, the Austrian occupation of northern Italy at the time, and the problem with the censors. Fascinating, and it added so much to the experience and enjoyment of the opera.
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Need some healing crytals for the New Year? Nancy Fenn's offering a great special - - check it out HERE.

============
Are you taking care of your health? There are two times I've noticed when clients tend to get sick. Well winter of course, but then when they've just started a new serious romance, and when they've ended one. These are very stressful times that take their toll on our immune system. Did you know that emotions directly effect the immune system?

Our immune system is our FIRST line of defense against bacteria, and our ONLY line of defense against viruses. (It's true. Ask your doctor.) We recommend a heart regimen of neutraceuticals from ARBONNE. DefenseBuilder and Get Well Soon Dietary Supplement are scientifically proven to nutritionally support the immune system. Get on them NOW and stay well. You may do OK, but other people who don't take care of themselves will be sick and will be around you with their germs, so at this vulnerable time, it's best to get on a strict health regime. You can show safely with me online at My Arbonne. Email me if you need help!
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I AM AVAILABLE FOR SPOT COACHING CALLS. One session is fine, and often is all it takes. If you need a call please email me to set a time - sdunn@susandunn.cc . It could be just the thing! I work night and weekends, for your convenience.

Music Yourself for the Holidays!

2005-12-18T19:42:00.000-08:00

SWEETS TO THE SWEET

A good way to enjoy the holidays when you're not partnered is with music. We have access to some of the most beautiful music in the world at this time.

This season I've enjoyed "The Nutcracker" with a friend, and then went alone to Trans-Siberian Orchestra, because I couldn't find anyone else intereste in going. Guess what? It was held at our SBC Center (where the San Antonio Spurs play) and (1) It was the first time the SBC Center has ever SOLD OUT and (2) It was the largest audience the Trans-Siberian Orchester has ever played to. GO SAN ANTONIO! It was a fun event. The audience liked the rock version of "Nutcracker" best of all. The light show was amazing, the singers wonderful. Like an opera, the story made little sense and was just thematic. The individual presentations were amazing. My fav. was the young male guitar player with the big, big smile and mane of golden hair. I think the guys liked the female first violinist best with her long black hair, fit body, and black spandez bicycle pants!

MUSIC OPPORTUNITIES FOR YOU

Here's a great list (non-affiliated) for mid-range and budget recordings that are recommended.

Click HERE to join Club Vivo Per Lei / I Live for Music, and learn more to increase your enjoyment year round.

The Met's radio opera schedule - - Saturdays at 12:30 p.m. CST.

Check in HERE for the upcoming televised operas from the Met.

Club Vivo members enjoyed Rigoletto this weekend. I was all set to listen to it at the perfect time - - I was driving 2 hours to meet my son, who was driving from Dallas, to give me my grand-daughter for the weekend. Unfortunately, radio contact went out after the first act. I can't believe Austin doesn't have a PBS station, but I searched the entire dial. I was so diappointed!!!

Enjoy your Christmas! It's your decision and choice as to how you spend it, and how you react to it.
=============
Go HERE for healing crystals for 2006 - - for love, wealth, health and happiness. This is a great deal you don't want to pass up.
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Watch out for dating at this time. All accounts continue that the men are going buts and madly seeking on the Internet. If you're a guy, take it easy. Christmas will pass and, alone or not, you'll survive. If you're a woman, I'd pass on the passes at this time and wait till things cool down after the holidays.

As a famous actress once said, "It was so cold that winter I almost got married." None of us wants to get into something like that, with someone like that, yes?
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At this time of year with the bacteria and viruses, people overdoing, bad allergy problems in many areas, and people around you sick and spreading their germs - - your first line of defense against bacteria is your immune system, and your ONLY LINE OF DEFENSE AGAINST VIRUSES, like flu, and bird flu, IS YOUR IMMUNE SYSTEM. Bolster if NOW with ARBONNE. Pure, natural ingredients. Cosmetics, shaving cream. The perfect gift.
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all images on this blog unless otherwise noted are royalty free from www.clipart.com.

It's Christmas - - Step Lightly

2005-12-14T18:55:00.000-08:00

ARE YOU A TIRED ANGEL?

I was talking to a woman today who told me she'd decided to break up with her boyfriend and was going to call him right away and tell him.

My advice - - I wouldn't make any decision or do anything from now until after Christmas, because of the emotional energy. We're all either:

--frazzled or numb;
--frantically busy or have given up and are sitting and staring;
--overjoyed or overgrieved;
--eating everything in sight, or refusing to eat anything in a desperate attempt to stem the tide;
--being Father Christmas, or Scrooge;
--hemorraging money or have put a tourniquet on it and won't spend a cent;
--working overtime (churches, therapists, physicians, jewelers and retailers, airport personnel, florists) or have nothing to do (most attorneys, dentists, weight loss clinics, car dealers, and those who do elective surgery);
--sick, or taking care of someone who's sick;
--feel like there are "too many" people in your life, or you're "totally alone"

In other words, it's the rare person who's coasting along and "stable". The majority of us are a bit strung out and it's no time to decide whether to marry him or not or what to do about your career or mother-in-law.

As one wise and over-worked young male friend of mine said, "I have planned a Christmas guaranteed to please no one," when in fact, like most of us, he was pleasing some people some of the time, including himself, and ... doing the best he can under the circumstances.

We are all doing the best we can under the circumstances, even when clearly are not.

Most of us in the US are also coping with a rising level of dissension re: "Christmas" and "the holidays" that makes whatever this season is to you far from the "peace and joy" it's supposed to be, which is sad.

And, it's that time of year when you long for home, even when you're home ... if you know what I mean. Just a very emotional time - - whether you're dealing with it by expressing it or stuffing it down and trying to ignore it (in which case you're likely to get a big backlash!)

So, please take a moment to enjoy this wonderful card from Jacquie Lawson, and STEP LIGHTLY!

This is Tchaikovsky's Dance of the Merlitons from "The Nutcracker Suite" which many of us have enjoyed or will, as part of the Christmas season, and we've been studying this in Club Vivo Per Lei.

If you live for music, join our Club Vivo Per Lei / I Live for Music! Music can be wonderfully therapeutic with many proven health benefits. It goes straight to the pleasure center, and for many people is the truest form of joy and relaxation.

GUARD YOUR HEALTH!

And please bolster your immune system against the ravages of December, January and February, which brings flu, viruses, bacterial infections such as pneumonia, and SAD - - seasonal affective disorder and depression. We eat wrong, do too much, stress out, try and fend off allergies, don't get enough sunlight, forget to exercise and miss our outdoor sports (in the northern hemisphere), and are around other people and their germs!

(Did you know that the telephone in your office, or your desk or anyone else's, has more germs per sq. inch than the toilet in the office restroom??) (cite: Clorox study)

ARBONNE'S DEFENSE BUILDER and GET WELL SOON DIETARY SUPPLEMENT are scientifically proven to nutritionally support your immune system. Particularly important if you're vulnerable - old, young, chronically ill, depressed, stressed, or around sick people.

Your immune system is your FIRST line of defense against bacteria, and your ONLY line of defense against viruses, like flu and bird flu. Ask your doctor.

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Do Opposties Attract?

2005-12-13T22:55:00.000-08:00

Do Opposites Really Attract?
by guest writer, Alan Stafford

You've heard the saying,"opposites attract". Many people believe that finding a mate who is your opposite is like touching two electrical wires together. Sparks fly and things really heat up. The very idea is exciting: you zig, he zags. He is everything you are not, and vice versa. So, is it true that to find your life partner you should "find your opposite"? Unfortunately, the answer is "no".

The reality is that opposites do attract, but they rarely stay together. If they do manage to stay married, the relationship is usually fitful and argumentative. Dating someone who is very different - someone who may have characteristics you wish you had - may be very exciting. But this excitement won't last long, and it won't be a good foundation for a happy marriage. Ditch diggers don't do well with doctors, social types aren't happy with homebodies, and spendthrifts are always at odds with pinchpennys.

Study after study has shown that happily married couples have far more in common than they have differences. If you want the best chance of having a long and happy marriage, marry someone who's similar to you.

Just because opposites tend not to stay together, however, it doesn't mean you have to marry your clone to be happy. Your soul mate is not someone who is identical to you. In fact, if the two of you think and act the same in every way, you'll probably soon get bored with each other.

Here's the secret to a long and happy marriage: marry someone who is complementary. That is, someone who has characteristics you don't have but admire. That person is different enough to be interesting, but is not truly your opposite. If you marry such a person, you'll avoid a lot of conflicts and marriage problems that may otherwise ruin your relationship.

The Surveys' Results

When committed couples were surveyed for degree of similarity/dissimilarity here were the results:

Physical Beauty: people tend to mate with people who are generally considered the same degree of attractiveness. Beauty rarely marries ugly. A large difference in attractiveness may cause serious problems later in marriage.

Education: successful couples generally match up well in educational levels. However, Phd's have marriage problems, too. What really seems to matter is not educational levels (grade levels or degrees) but intelligence. People tend to marry and stay married to people with similar IQ's.

Class: yes, there are classes in America. Upper class people rarely marry people from the other side of the tracks. Country club types marry country club types. Ivy Leaguers marry Ivy Leaguers. The prince marrying the peasant girl is truly a fairy tale.

Religion: quite often people from different religions marry, but the couples who stay together and are happy together generally agree about most spiritual matters. So, here's another compatibility tip: discussing religion and spiritual beliefs before the wedding will save you a lot of marriage problems.

Money: When rich marries poor, the marriage is over either when the money runs out, or when the wealthy partner does.

Family/Children: to a very high degree, happy couples are in agreement about whether to have children, or how many to have.

So, happy couples in successful long-term relationships are not carbon copies of each other. Neither are they clones or mirror images. It's the differences between partners that make the marriage interesting. But, when it comes to the major issues in a relationship, happily married couples are generally at a high level of agreement.

Take a look at your own relationship. Before you make any major commitments, be sure that you and your partner are in agreement over the big things. Then, viva la difference!

Dr. Alan Stafford, Relationship Results Coach: I help Singles and Couples build relationships that work www.relationshipsuccessexperts.com

Go here to ask Alan a question about your biggest relationship issue:
http://relationshipsuccessexperts.com/askalan.htm .
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Let me help you find the man or woman of your dreams. Building the relationship can only begin once you've found them. I've studied this intensively and have come up with a simple, effective program that tells you the unwritten rules of dating for marriage. It is also EQ-centered, for lasting results. Mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc for information.
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Shop with me online at MY ARBONNE

Victory over Depression

2005-12-07T19:50:00.000-08:00

LOOKING FOR A STAR TO WISH ON?

"Victory Over Depression Series: Letting go of your pain,"
Guest writer: Sharon Lowell

Letting go

I'd like to throw out the question to us both "what do we needlessly hold on to?"

Interesting question, isn't it? This question seems simple on the surface to answer, but upon investigation into the deepest secret parts of our minds, and that being extremely complex. I desperately hung on to guilt, hurt, rage, disappointment and especially pity for years and years and years.

I'd like to explain my own personal reasons for doing this, with the hope that maybe a light will pop on inside your mind, helping you uncover reasons for clinging to your pain.

First of all, I felt that the horror of the experiences that led to all my negative torment deserved the reverence of me for ever paying "homage" to my consequential
suffering.

If I didn't stroke and nurture the pain that resulted from living through my hell -- who would? In my mind, no one else cared! So, I would carry the torch -- and live
forever in remembrance of my agony - I was determined to take care of it. If I just let it all go, it would have been like admitting that what happened to me was okay, it doesn't matter, no big deal, forget about it!"

Well, everything that happened is not okay, and will never be okay! What people did to me does matter, is a big deal -- and I certainly won't ever forget about it! So, with a strong and determined protective, obsessive attitude, I kept all these promises to myself, and I "honored" my agony 24/7.

Unfortunately, this mindset eventually took on a life of its own. It gained momentum and power, and led me steadily down the path of nothing short of death. All I could see was the dark, critical, vicious side to life. Simple pleasures did not exist for me, and I became intolerably moody and angry. I trusted nothing and no one. My attitude towards everything became more and more sarcastic and miserable. The heaviness took its toll on my mind, body and spirit -- until I craved actual physical death.

I find this very difficult to write about, and actually become literally heavy in my head, eyes and body when I revisit these thoughts and past lifestyle. The good news
is, however, that because of the grace and patience of God, and the tiny spark left with the need to find healing -- that healing is what I did ultimately attain.

My life changed forever when I finally adopted two very simple, but hard to learn philosophies:

. Honor the traumatic memories by learning from them, instead of living inside them. I understand completely the need to show respect and reverence for our times of horror, but we can transfer this reverence into knowledge and understanding. The lessons permanently learned from our times of agony will provide potent influence we can apply to future choices that will have to be made. The knowledge and understanding that comes from torment is ultimately a powerful gift that allows us to find maturity, compassion for others, and certain joy in our future.

. Reassign new positive associations and meaning to your hurtful memories. Almost always, in any bad situation, we can acknowledge the love and caring we put out there to others, which is always precious and of great value in the eyes of the Lord. Even if our love was responded to eventually with hate or betrayal, our love, concern and generosity of spirit needs to be seen as precious wonderful priceless, and worthy of great praise. Honor your goodness in mind body and spirit, and virtue in motive, regardless of how the situation turned out. Own responsibility for the mistakes you made, but feel compassion for yourself, as opposed to self pity.

These points, as well as many others which I cover in my audio e-book; "A Path To Healing", helped me after a long time of meditation, searching and honest evaluation of all the details surrounding my times of suffering, to find a way back to joy, self understanding, love and humble beautiful new beginnings.

I pray the same for you.

About the Author: Sharon has found her way from debilitating suicidal depression to a new life of joy. Her passion now is helping others who suffer for the devastating affects of depression and anxiety through her new audio e-book; "A Path to Healing" at http://www.apathtohealing.com
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ARBONNE neutraceuticals can help with your attitude, mood, and emotions, because emotional and physical health are inextricably intertwined. The usual treatment for depresssion combines several of these elements - - therapy, coaching, exercise, nutrition, and ... time. There's no guarantee "time will heal," as Sharon says. If you're determined to be depressed, that can be achieved. If you want to take the long road back, that can be achieved as well. Explore every possibility. Read my ebook, "Depression: The Journey Within," in which we take an EQ look at depression.

Try ARBONNE'S DEFENSE_BUILDER and GET WELL SOON DIETARY SUPPLEMENT. Also use their line of cosmetics and lotions, because they're pure, natural ingredients and what you put on your skin is absorbed into your bloodstream Enough toxins already!

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Divorced and Dejected at the Holidays?

2005-12-06T18:42:00.000-08:00

Divorced and Dejected? 5 Powerful Reasons to be Proud of Yourself, by guest writer, the Flaming Life Coach

A painful divorce usually leaves people at the end of their tether.

This is understandable, considering the amount of energy that goes into making concessions, holding it together and completely miss-managing your emotions.

Every life changes, wanted or unwanted ultimately play a "roller coaster" on our emotions.

For the majority of people, ending a marriage is a huge step. Thus most people would rather remain in an unhappy marriage than leave.

If however, you find the courage to let go of an unhappy marriage or are forced into doing so, the following reasons can help remount your morale quickly.

1. You can have compassion for yourself. I'm convinced that when you got married, your intention wasn't to divorce at anytime.

Your primary reason for getting married was to share your life happily with your chosen partner. Even it didn't turn out that way.

None of us has all the answers or control over our lives, least of all, over the lives of others.

We can only learn to accept what we cannot change. When you made your vows, you alone knew what it meant to you at the time.

2. You can stop feeling like a failure, because you're not! Life is about learning and growing.

Don't get intimidated by statistics quota and let go of the image of fitting into a model.

You possess all the capabilities to create a great life for yourself even after a divorce! And don't you believe otherwise.

Failure only occurs if you give up on yourself. If you're still hurting, give yourself time to heal. Learn to forgive yourself and move on when you feel ready.

3. You can start celebrating your success as a free and wholesome individual.

As beautiful and fulfilling a great marriage can be, you don't require someone else to make you complete.

I once pointed out to a client that his wife leaving him could be exactly what he needed. This could get him to start thinking about his own needs and taking charge of his own life.

Sometimes people get sucked into their marriage and completely lose sight of their own identity. I am not saying that you shouldn't commit to your marriage.

Think about this for a moment: you had an identity before you got married and you still had that identity after marriage, so why give it up?

You owe it to yourself and deserve to evolve to your best possibility in your own time.

Sadly enough, most couples seem to forget this. Especially those who marry very young.

4. You can give yourself some credit for facing up to the truth and ending what was no longer fulfilling to you or your partner.

It requires true honesty and courage to "pull out the plug," face your chagrin and be consequent.

There are a number of people living in unfulfilling marriages, as a result of fear of being alone.

Evidences also show that some people remain in their marriage for circumstantial reasons or based on mutual arrangements.

Pat yourself on the back and feel proud of being strong enough to stand on your own. You now have a great time ahead of you. A time to get re-acquainted with YOU and your
needs.

5. You can be determined to see this new phase as a time of "becoming".

Envisage your future as an opportunity to examine other exciting areas of life.

Have a sense of purpose and focus on making the best use of this period.

How many times have you taken a decision in the past quite uncertain about its outcome? Only to realize later on that it was one of your best decisions ever. This could be one of those times.

Who knows, you might even discover new values deeply hidden within you.

As you can see, viewing your divorce from the right right perspective is essential for your inner healing. This can help you let go of guilt and self persecution. The sooner you can begin to perceive yourself as someone of worth, the quicker you can relinquish the past. Thereby you can focus fully in the present to create a more fulfilling life.

About the Author: Kunbi Korostensky, N.D., Psychotherapist and Certified Life
Coach is specialised in supporting people in transition, turn the changes in their lives into invigorating joy and happiness. View her ebooklet Top 10 holistic Questions to Embrace Change and Grow at: http://www.embracingchanges.com/Books-and-Tools-to-facilitat e-Changes.html or: mailto: kunbi@embracingchanges.com
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Healthy Eating for the Holidays

2005-12-05T20:14:00.000-08:00

We singles are always watching out nutrition, yes? It's for sure we can't enjoy emotional health if we let our physical health decline. With all the emotional turmoil of the holidays, remember your exercise routine, and get those healthy foods. Also, we recommend you add a good neutraceutical especially at this time of year. Try ARBONNE's DefenseBuilder or Get Well Soon Dietary Supplement. Scientifically proven to nutritionally support your immune system.
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Here are some tips about holiday eating that's good for you. It was sent to me by email, so I don't know whom to credit.

HEALTHY EATING FOR THE HOLIDAYS

With all the focus on how not to gain weight, and what not to eat over the
holidays, the wonderful nutrition in holiday foods often gets overlooked. If
you want to celebrate all the healthy reasons to eat this holiday, take a
look below to see the cornucopia of nutritional goodies our traditional
foods bring to the table.

1. Pumpkin: Pumpkin is a remarkably healthy ingredient, providing 3 1/2
times the recommended daily allowance of vitamin A and a lot of fiber per
half-cup serving. Pureed pumpkin lends itself to healthy cooking. It can,
like applesauce and prune puree, replace fat in baked goods without giving
them a rubbery texture.

2. Roast Turkey: Serve up three ounces of skinless turkey breast and you get
a whopping 20 grams of protein with practically no fat. All that and only
100 calories. Plus you fill 25 percent of your daily need for niacin and
vitamin B6.

3. Sweet Potatoes: Ounce for ounce, they have as much beta-carotene as
carrots. A mere four ounces contain 50 percent of your daily requirement of
vitamin C, as much potassium as a banana and a good amount of fiber. All
this adds up to one terrific disease-fighting food!

4. Cranberry Relish: There's a substance in cranberries that helps prevent
urinary tract infections by interfering with the ability of bacteria to
adhere to cell membranes. Cranberries also contain a potentially
cancer-preventing compound called ellagic acid. Make a fresh
orange-cranberry relish and get added benefit from the vitamin C in oranges.

5. Potatoes: Whether mashed or in latkes, potatoes are good food. They
contain loads of vitamin C and potassium, plus fiber, iron, copper and
plenty of B vitamins. Boiling potatoes will destroy some of the vitamin C
and dissolve some of the rest of it into the cooking water. To help preserve
the vitamin C content, use some of the cooking water instead of milk or
cream when mashing them.

6. Figgy Pudding: Figs help make the pudding a nutritional gold mine. They
are a good source of potassium, calcium, magnesium and niacin, plus they
have a natural laxative effect.

7. Eggnog: Choose only the low-fat variety and enjoy a holiday tradition
while getting a good amount of protein and some calcium. (Just be sure not
to drink too much, since there's still lots of sugar and calories in even
the low-fat version.)

And if you're going to make cookies, try this favorite recipe of mine. I think it kept us all healthy last year. It's just LOADED with oranges and lemon, skin included. Grating the peel, you get this intoxicating SPRAY of orange zest. Yum!

SUSAN'S ORANGE COOKIES

2 c. sugar
1 c. shortening
2 eggs
1 c. milk
4 c. flour
2 t. baking powder
1 t. soda
juice and grated rind of 1 orange

Blend sugar, shortening and eggs. Add milk. Combine dry ingredients and add. Add juice and rind. Drop by t. on greased sheet. Bake 8-10 mins. at 350.

ICING (a must!)

grated rind of 1 orange
3 T. orange juice
1 T. melon juice
1 T. butter
Powdered sugar to desired consistency, about 1 lb. Drizzel heavily over top.

Enjoy! To your health!

Getting Your Man Onto the Playing Field of Love

2005-12-03T20:15:00.000-08:00

Today we have some interesting thoughts from Jaci Rae author of “Winning Points with the Woman in Your Life One Touchdown at a Time”, a great book for guys to read (and women too!)

COMMENTS:
Richard Leiby-The Washington Post: "’Winning Points with the Women in your Life…,’ is sure to drive football loving men right into their end zones!"

Athletic Business: "’Winning Points’ helps improve relationship skills – by using football plays, scrimmage strategies and tactical maneuvers as analogies…"

GETTING YOUR MAN ONTO THE PLAYING FIELD OF LOVE
Guest Article by Jaci Rae

So you've made it into the stadium and you are now stepping onto the playing field for your first day of practice with the Dallas Cowboys. Nervous excitement courses through your veins as the coach talks about the various formations he is going to run the team through and begins to discuss the different play calls and strategies he will be using during this season's games.

While much of what the coach talks about initially lies within the realm of football common sense and comes easily to you, there are a few nuances in the game plan that you will be unfamiliar with. Also, some of the plays are new to you and could cause complications and confusion in the season ahead if you don't understand them.

A team's language will guide you in how to interact and communicate with your teammates on the playing field. This language that each player must learn is full of individual components, called the "plays." For each "play," there is a "plan." Each of these "plays" and "plans" has been specially formulated through years of research and scientific study, producing entire systems of proven techniques that can make winners out of the players and teams.

Once the methods were proven effective, they were gathered together and worked into a playbook for each team to base its "plays" and "plans" on. It is that playbook that each teammate must learn in order to be part of the winning team. This process is much the same as that of the "plays" and "plans" of a relationship. You need to read the manual, learn from those who are already where you want to be in their relationships and listen actively to your partner in order to learn how to speak their language. Once you learn this language, you can enter the game confidently and achieve victory!

A woman's perception of her relationship, as well as the language she uses within a relationship may seem very complicated, and sometimes confusing. You may find particular things in her language syntax that are hard to understand and certainly difficult to interpret! And as if that weren't enough, many women have a tendency to turn over and over in their heads most of what is said to them, finding more than what may actually be there.

While men tend to go with the flow without over-analyzing things, women try to find out what's behind the words they see and hear when dealing with their loved ones. This process is intuitively part of their naturally protective circuitry, helping them emotionally guard themselves and their loved ones. Have you ever heard the statement, "You don't want to mess with Mother Bear?" This applies here because women are built as nurturers and maintain a natural curiosity about their environment, in order to help them protect themselves and those they love from perceived dangers.

This natural curiosity triggers what I like to call the "need to know" gene. Women have the "need to know" or to discover all the "information" about their surroundings and then make judgment calls as to any dangers that may affect those they love. This of course, can lead to any number of natural responses to the perceived dangers of their surroundings and an inherent desire to analyze all causes and effects. Because curiosity (analyzing) is a natural response for women, it tends to bleed over into other areas of their lives, namely their relationships.

In addition to analyzing most of what is said to them, women may often have hidden meaning in what they say, even if they don't intend to put it there. Men are not as complicated (in a good way) with their spoken language. What men say is most often what they mean. So, why is it that so many women seem to include hidden messages behind their words? In the same way that women tend to over-analyze things, sometimes they also include hidden meaning in their spoken words. The reasons for this can be partially found by looking at the traditional upbringing and social history of women.

Parents and other adults teach women, at a very early age, that they need to be strong, confident and know what they want. They are also told that they need to be assertive and independent in order to succeed at fulfilling their dreams and desires for their future.

In reality, though, oftentimes the media image of a woman is much different. Society in general, sees images of successful women on television and in the movies that are more demure and non-aggressive, but still get what they need and desire.

The woman on television or in the media, who ends up with the man of her dreams, may have played it "coy," playing off on her seeming "need" for the man. The media image presented is often in direct conflict with the way that a woman may have been raised. Because of these two conflicting images, women have now received mixed messages and are subjected to confusing images about the way they should behave in society. On top of this, women see the men around them as being intrigued and often fascinated by the media image of a woman, an image that may not always interconnect with the ideals and values that they, as women, were brought up with.

Because of this, women may be unsure how to present themselves and may seek to bring forward aspects of both images at the same time. As a result, they may confuse the two images, hiding their true feelings and thoughts deep within their words, all the while struggling to achieve the final goal of communicating their needs or "message" to those that participate in their lives.

Our environment has a great deal to do with how we relate and react to each other as well as how we communicate with other people. Another huge factor in our character make-up is the individual chemistry that everyone is born with. While much has been said about how different the sexes are, how much do we actually know? The facts show that men and women are conceived equally in terms of their overall intelligence.

However, somewhere between the twelfth and fourteenth weeks of pregnancy, there is a testosterone wash that flows over the brain of a male baby. i This wash does not take place during the formation of a female baby. Let's take a look at how the brain works and try to understand why this is so important.

Testosterone is one of the main chemicals that enable the brain to manufacture and create serotonin, which is an important neurotransmitter in the brain, causing certain nerve cells in the brain to activate and become livelier. Serotonin can also act as an inhibitor. Most neurotransmitters can act as both an exciter and an inhibitor. Serotonin affects the brain's interior, known as the ganglia.

The ganglia are the network of the brain, which is divided into two cells, the L cell and the R cell. Scientists believe that one of these cells makes serotonin and the other produces dopamine.

Dopamine is "a monoamine neurotransmitter formed in the brain and is essential to the normal functioning of the central nervous system. ii" Dopamine acts as an inhibitor in the ganglia, thereby causing a calming effect and dampening activity.

It is believed that during the testosterone wash, a balance between the L cells and the R cells are set, determining the amount of serotonin and dopamine that the brain's network will use. This also determines how spatially or temporally aware a person is, with men being born more spatially aware and women more temporally aware. A person who is spatially aware is generally a “left-brain” individual and someone who is temporally aware, is generally a “right-brain” individual.

The word "spatial" is defined as "relating to space." As men are generally more spatially aware, they tend to be better at judging distances, which comes in handy during parallel parking! The word "temporal," meanwhile, is defined as being "of or limited by time.” This may explain why women seem to be able to associate time and events without much difficulty.

You know what I am talking about here men, that little thing that really bothers men about women -- she remembers everything she thinks you have done wrong and when you did it! I believe this is due in part because of a woman's propensity for temporal awareness.

Because of the testosterone wash, men tend to be more "left- brain" oriented and women rely more readily on the "right-brain." "Left-brain" individuals tend to be more interested in facts, inclined to logic and reason. They are more motivated in providing for the home and usually more interested in becoming engineers, mathematicians and scientist. These are just a few career choices that a "left-brain" individual might make.

A "right-brain" individual tends to be better at, and more interested in, developing relationships and dealing with emotional issues. They are more inclined to emotions and passions and are generally more motivated by investing in the relationships of the home. Their career choices tend to put them in the roles of caregivers or into jobs where they can use their artistic, investigative and research abilities.

This is in contrast to the general tendencies of "left-brained" individual. Again, a clearer picture begins to be revealed when we look at the differences between the sexes in this light. Most men might find a leisurely reading of Popular Mechanics or Programmer's Security Desk Reference fundamentally more interesting than reading Ladies’ Home Journal or Parent Child Magazine, while women are just the opposite.

This is simply a matter of one's interest and NOT an intellectual issue, as both men and women can be motivated for various reasons to read on all the subjects mentioned. Remember that both sexes are born equally in terms of intelligence.

My uncle gave me a funny example the other day of how men see women's thought patterns when it comes to making decisions. I thought that this insight was a great example of men conquering and women looking for sequence and order before they tackle the matter at hand.

Here's what he had to say: "Men rule by action. Women rule by committee. For example: Man sees hill, climbs hill. Woman sees hill, forms discussion group, sets up hill climbing committee, votes for hill climbing team, schedules climb date, checks rain fall charts, does studies to locate best path, sends out scouts, and much, much, much, much later... finally climbs the hill."

The facts stated thus far pertain only to our pre-disposition at birth. The things we experience each day, the lessons that we are taught as we move through our daily lives and the personal choices we make along the way will also be determining factors in how "left-brain" or "right-brain" we become. These factors will also directly affect our communication with and relationship to others.

The good news is that since each of us has the freedom to make personal choices, we can learn to hear and understand each other's language when we step onto the playing field to begin practice! "Your hands made me and formed me; give me understanding to learn your commands." Psalms 119:73

Once you step up and onto the playing field, however, you will need to hear exactly what the coach has to say during practice if you want to make it to your first game. Copyright © 2005 Jaci Rae and North Shore Records, Inc. For more information about Winning Points With The Woman In Your Life One Touchdown at a Time, go to: www.winningpoints.net or simonsays.com. Winning Points is available at stores around the world as well as online

Jaci Rae is the #1 Best Selling author of “Winning Points with the Woman in Your Life One Touchdown at a Time” and “The Indie Guide To Music Success” ISBN 978-0-9746229-4-1 as well as the host of the Jaci Rae show. Dubbed by the media as "Racy Jaci" because of her quick wit and "The Rae of Hope," for her powerful insight, please make sure to check her out at: http://www.jacirae.com to listen to Jaci’s popular show, where she has some of the top behind the scenes guests teaching about the music industry on, go to: www.jacirae.com and click on the weekly show link.

That Crazy Christmas Energy

2005-12-01T18:34:00.000-08:00

THE ENERGY LEADING UP TO CHRISTMAS, HANNUKAH, "THE HOLIDAYS" IS ALWAYS TURBULENT, and this year appears to be no exception. All around me I'm hearing couples having rocky times. People trying to break up, wanting to break up, hoping they don't get 'broken up,' etc. and some who have made the decision to leave and are thrashing around about how, when, and ... ug.

Whatever you say about it, I don't know anyone who goes into a relationship hoping it WILL break up, so there you have it.

There's something to be said for the art of knowing how to break up, because all but the last relationship you're in, there will be "breaking up." sigh. (You don't have to like it, you just have to do it.)

So, today we offer a guest article on THE ART OF ENDING THE RELATIONSHIP. It's a nice article, though breaking up is never easy. BTW, take our Breakin Up Survey and let us know how you feel, and what advice you have to give.

How to End a Relationship: Your Dating Exit StrategyCopyright © 2005 Alan Stafford, All Rights Reserved

Ending a relationship is rarely a mutual decision. In almost every case, one partner wants to end the relationship; the other partner does not. And sometimes, the doomed relationship continues longer than it should because the leaving partner does not know a graceful way to end the relationship.

What if you are the partner wanting to break up? You could stay in the relationship to avoid hurting the feelings of your partner. Or you could stay with him or her out of a pity. But this staying when you want to leave creates an unhealthy relationship. It is unfair to him, and it is really unfair to you. If the relationship is emotionally over, staying on means living a lie. Because the relationship is no longer healthy and honest, there are arguments and accusations, hurt feelings and threats. You've been there. You don't want to go through that ever again. But what can you do?

When It's Over, It's Over

Create a preplanned exit strategy once you've decided the relationship is kaput. With a strategy in hand and a script in your pocket, you will feel more confident in breaking up sooner instead of later. Making a quick, clean break is a kindness to the other person. He avoids false hope and can begin the grieving and healing process that is a natural part of a breakup. When it's over, it's over. Both your time and his/hers are better spent meeting other people instead of fumbling for a way out. Remember, you and your partner actually want the same thing: a relationship of mutual respect, admiration, and affection. If these characteristics are missing from either partner, the relationship will suffer and fail. The overall purpose for both of you is to find that special someone. Ending your relationship
now will free both of you to pursue the dream of finding that lifetime partner.

Besides, if you manage to break up earlier rather than later, you increase the possibility that you both may stay friends forever. Staying in a relationship too long leads to resentment, anger, and hurt. The longer you stay in a bad relationship, the more bitter the breakup and the more estranged the two of you are afterward.

Dating Exit Strategy: Practice It!

Remember, you will end all your future relationships except for the last one. Why not be prepared? The first time you realize that your requirements will not be met, try this: you can say, "I think you're a really great person, but I don't think we're a good match". If you rehearse this at home like a Hollywood actor would, you'll be more comfortable when you have to "say your lines" to the person you're dating. You never know, the date you
let down gently may become a future referral source.

If he likes you but agrees that the two of you aren't really couple material, he'll probably bird dog some prospects for you. Because the two of you did not go through an extended and bitter breakup, he could actually be your friend. And friends help friends get what the want including dates.

A final tip: don't change your mind. It'll be difficult, especially if your partner doesn't want to let you go. But remember, when your relationship is dead, nothing and nobody will revive it. Be gentle, but firm - you're on your way to finding someone much, much better that the person you're talking to. And so is he. Do both of you a favor, and do it now.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Dr. Alan Stafford, Relationship Results Coach. I help Singles and Couples build relationships that work www.relationshipsuccessexperts.com

Click here to ask Alan a question about your biggest relationship issue
http://relationshipsuccessexperts.com/askalan.htm

Get our free newsletter for relationship tips and advice http://relationshipsuccessexperts.com/subscribe07.html © 2005 Alan Stafford/Relationship Success Experts
=====================

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Results of Singles' Poll re: Loneliness at the Holidays

2005-11-30T06:37:00.000-08:00

DO WE HAVE A TREAT FOR YOU!!

Make a cookie of this website -- bookmark it, because we have lots of ideas for singles over the holidays!

Here are the results from THE WEEKLY POLL on a singles' website:

Do you find the holidays difficult as a single person?

Yes, I feel lonely. 60.0%

No, it is a time of celebration. 40.0%

========
If you find the holidays lonely, as a single person, stay tuned for ideas, solutions and encouragement, coming up!

We singles like to stay busy. This photo is actually of a cookie I entered in a Christmas cookie decorating one year. A single friend and I decided to enter, and go join the celebration. There are lots of ways to enjoy the holidays.

Here's the recipe for the cookie:

SUSAN'S SUGAR COOKIE RECIPE

1 cup margarine
1 cup sugar]2 eggs
1 t. vanilla
2 2/3 cups sifted flour
3/4 t. salt
1/2 t. baking powder
1/2 t. baking soda

Cream sugar and margarine. Beat in eggs and vanilla. Blend in dry inredients. Chill dough for 3 hrs Roll out and cut cookies. Bake on ungreased sheets at 375 for 6-8 minutes. Then decorate! (Buy a set of tubes are Hobby Lobby, Crafts, etc.)

Got kids in your life? Let them join in.

P.S. Be sure and buy PASTE food coloring. Liquid coloring will make the frosting too runny. And don't stress, just buy a tin of frosting. That's what I did, and this cookie won first place! Boy, was I thrilled!

Hear the Children Singing

2005-11-27T00:47:00.000-08:00

Enjoy the Christmas bells from The Christmas Attic. Yes, Christmas is here. Stay tuned for lots of tips as we cruise in to what may be bumpy waters for some singles!

I'll be going to the Trans-Siberian Christmas Extravaganza later this month, and am really looking forward to it. There's so much great entertainment this time of year, why sit at home feeling lonely? It's a great chance to call a friend, get out and enjoy yourself.

Just do it!
============
To enjoy music more, it's healing properties, and gift of pleasure, join CLUB VIVO PER LEI / I LIVE FOR MUSIC. Delivered to your inbox weekly, our gift to you!

Win the Battle of the Bulge During the Holidays

2005-11-25T21:42:00.000-08:00

ARBONNE'S FIGURE 8 WEIGHT LOSS SYSTEM WORKS. Nancy had been at a standstill for a year, running 5 miles every day, and limiting her caloric intake. She told me, "I don't see how I can exercise any more, and eat any less and still maintain any sort of normal social life." With ARBONNE'S FIGURE 8 PROGRAMshe has finally been able to break through, and has lost 20 lbs. since she began. Bravo! (You can too. Shop online HERE.
=========================
Let me be your coaching buddy for weight loss, self-esteem gain, emotional intelligence, relationships, finding that special someone.

Though this article purports the use of friends and loved ones, we who are single do not have partners for this, and we also know - intuitively - that "friends" and "loved ones" don't WORK for this, or we'd already be there.

Coaching works. Give it a try. Mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc and schedule a free coaching session.
==================
HOW TO INDULGE AND WIN THE BATTLE OF THE BULGE DURING THE HOLIDAYS
Guest author: Joey Dweck

If you are trying to lose weight, the holidays literally are the heaviest time of the year.

So how do you eat, drink and be merry while you're counting every single calorie? By getting a buddy who will help you make the right choices bite by bite.

Scientific studies have shown that people who diet with partners are much more likely to lose weight and to keep it off. And there's no more crucial time to have a buddy on your side than from Thanksgiving to New Year's.

"During the holidays, you can use all the help you can get," says Alan Gettis, a nutritionist and clinical psychologist in River Edge, N.J. "I urge my clients to get a full-time year-round a buddy, it could be a husband or a wife, a neighbor
or a friend. I But don't wait for the first feast to find a buddy, says Susan Holmberg, a nutritionist and behavioral therapist in Oradell, N.J. "Once you start overeating, you don't want a "Buddy," she says.

Buddies give you moral support and help you identify bad eating habits and patterns because they have been there, too, she says. "You may want to have more than one buddy," she says. "You can have one on the phone and one who exercises with you and goes to parties with you. You can make deals with your buddy where you both go to the party but only one of you goes through the buffet line or where you agree to split one meal."

Buddies also are like therapists and coaches, who listen to you and keep you on the right path. "Your buddy should be a person you can share your feelings with and rely on in a pinch without fear that your feelings will be used as ammunition against you," Gettis says.

Holmberg says that using a "Buddy" is particularly helpful to people who may be reluctant to change because those who sign on can choose a either real-life buddy, someone in their geographical area they can meet and exercise with, or select someone to work with solely online or via the phone. "Sometimes anonymity is good," she says. "You are much more likely to try it if you don't have to meet the person."

Gettis points out that with a "Buddy", "you can find someone with similar goals, and both of you can support each other."

Buddies also take on active roles, getting you to stop a bad habit and replace it with a healthy one. Gettis likens the process to a marathon, where the runners are tempted to give up before the 26th mile because it is so difficult to stay the
course. "The 18- to 19-mile mark is the crucial one," he says. "During a marathon I was once in, I came upon two guys running - one was hurting, and the other was encouraging him to keep running. I followed them for two to three miles, and the one
kept saying, 'Leave me.' The other kept saying, 'I'm not going to.' And I thought, 'What great friends!' Then I heard the one hurting say, 'What's your name?'"

Perhaps the most important role that buddies play is helping plan strategies and then making sure that you make them work. "They can teach you to take baby steps and to change your environment," Holmberg says. "For instance, they may suggest that you keep sneakers in your trunk or put on your gym clothes as you leave the office so you don't have an excuse not to exercise. They can call ahead to the party to check on the menu and give you a low-cal recipe to bring so there's at least one thing that you can eat."

Holmberg says that some of the changes are so simple that people overlook them. A buddy may, for instance, suggest that you get at the end of the buffet line so there is less food available or help the host wash dishes because if your hands are wet, you are less likely to nibble on the last remaining crumbs from the serving dishes. "If you are asked to bring dessert, your buddy may remind you not to make chocolate chip cookies because the last time you ate a dozen cookies before you brought them to the party and nibbled the chips while baking and suggest that instead you make something like a pie that can't be nibbled because it is cut only when served."

Buddies also can help you practice being assertive, not aggressive to make significant changes in your diet and your lifestyle. "By being assertive, you attack the task," Gettis says. "By being aggressive, you attack the person. You need to
stand your ground and in a firm but angry voice say: 'I really would appreciate it if you would not bring home anything fattening. You may have had good intentions, but I'd feel better if you didn't do it again.'"

So don't wait until you're boxed in by back-to-back parties and surrounded by wall-to-wall goodies to find a buddy. Make an early New Year's resolution to do it now, long before the marathon feasts begin, Gettis says. "You have to be realistic, so don't count on losing 10 to 12 pounds during the holidays. Don't say you'll lose 10 pounds during the holidays, and don't gain 10 either. And get someone to be your buddy for all 12 months of the year. You have nothing to lose - but weight."

bout The Author: Joey Dweck is the Founder & CEO of WeightLossBuddy.com a website committed to 24/7 support, expert advice, and helping people find a buddy(s) who will support their effort to lose weight, and live a healthier lifestyle. And it's all Free. Sign up for the Free 4-Part E-Course "Losing For Good"
http://www.weightlossbuddy.com.
==========================
I LOVE ARBONNE'S CHEWS! I carry them with me in my purse and pop one in my mouth when I get that urge to nibble. Take one just before the Christmas party, keep some in your desk at work. Enjoy!

Single for the Thanksgiving

2005-11-24T12:28:00.000-08:00

HAPPY THANKSGIVING. Please visit MY WEBSITE for articles, resources, quotes beautiful holiday music, inspiration and more. And take a look at Club Vivo Per Lei / I Live for Music while you're there, as we'll be cruising on into the holiday season from here.

"Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others." (Cicero)

THANKS!

You are listening to We Gather Together to Ask the Lord's Blessing

Do you love music? Do you LIVE for music? If a holiday wouldn’t be a holiday without music, join CLUB VIVO PER LEI / I LIVE FOR MUSIC - DEDICATED TO DR. JOHN J. ALIFANO, JR., TO WHOM MANY PEOPLE OWE THEIR LIVES AND THEIR EDUCATIONS. Click HERE to join.

Brought to you by Susan Dunn, Your EQ Coach.
I am grateful for your support, affirmations, the chance to serve you and the pleasure of your company on our mutual journeys. Thank you for your referrals and for making our EQ Alive! the #1 coach certification program!

We celebrate gratitude in our daily lives.

PRAYER

God, when I have food, help me to remember the hungry;
When I have work, help me to remember the jobless;
When I have a home, help me to remember those who have no home at all;
When I am without pain, me to remember those who suffer,
And remembering,
Help me to destroy my complacency;
and be concerned enough to help;
By word and deed, those who cry out for what we take for granted.

CHECK OUT THIS THANKSGIVING CARD FROM JACQUIE LAWSON

"If the only prayer you said in your whole life was 'thank you' that would suffice." Meister Eckhart

"The Pilgrims built 7 times as many graves as they did huts. No Americans have been more impoverished than these who nevertheless, set aside a day of thanksgiving." H. U. Westermayer

"As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words; but to live by them." -John F. Kennedy

For more quotes, articles, resources, musics, anticipations of Christmas, tips on enjoying Thanksgiving more, and inspiration, go HERE ( www.susandunn.cc/thanksgiving.htm ).

Thanksgiving, the only remaining holiday we celebrate in the US with no commerical, materialistic overtones. We give thanks, not gifts.

Single for the Holidays

2005-11-23T21:14:00.000-08:00

A PRAYER FOR THOSE IN NEED OF HEALING
==========
From a client ...
"Thank you very much for all the time you spent with me on the phone, and thank you for being so understanding and caring. I can tell that you truly care about people and helping them with their lives." Warmest aloha, M.E.

For coaching, email me at sdunn@susandunn.cc or call 210-496-0678.
==============
The holidays can be excruciating for those who are suffering, in pain, feeling alone, or surviving recent losses. We offer ...

A PRAYER FOR THANKSGIVING FOR THOSE IN NEED OF HEALING

God, make me brave for life;
oh, braver than this.
Let me straighten after pain
as the tree straightens after the rain,
shining and lovely again.

God, make me brave for life;
much braver than this.
As the blown grass lifts,
let me rise from sorrow with quiet eyes,
knowing Thy way is wise.

God, make me brave --
Life brings such blinding things
Help me to keep my sight,
help me to see aright
that out of darkness
comes light.
===========
Email me - sdunn@susandunn.cc - for my special Thanksgiving gift, "Thanks" in words and art. Put "thanks" for subject line.
===========
ARBONNE: Physical healing requires neutraceuticals; we can no longer get the nutrition we need from the food we eat, even "fresh" produce. We recommend Arbonne's DEFENSE BUILDER and GET WELL SOON DIETARY SUPPLEMENT, scientifically proven to nutritionally support the immune system. The immune system is our health, and our ONLY LINE OF DEFENSE AGAINST VIRUSES. Antibiotics can cure bacteria, but we have no known cure for a virus. Get proactive and build up your immune system now.

It's a good time to become an Arbonne consultant. Click HERE to register. Email for assistance.
==============
Images royalty free from www.clipart.com unless otherwise noted.

For Thanksgiving

2005-11-23T14:40:00.000-08:00

A PRAYER FOR THOSE IN NEED OF HEALING
==========
From a client ...
"Thank you very much for all the time you spent with me on the phone, and thank you for being so understanding and caring. I can tell that you truly care about people and helping them with their lives." Warmest aloha, M.E.

For coaching, email me at sdunn@susandunn.cc or call 210-496-0678.
==============
The holidays can be excruciating for those who are suffering, in pain, or surviving recent losses. We offer ...

A PRAYER FOR THANKSGIVING FOR THOSE IN NEED OF HEALING

God, make me brave for life;
oh, braver than this.
Let me straighten after pain
as the tree straightens after the rain,
shining and lovely again.

God, make me brave for life;
much braver than this.
As the blown grass lifts,
let me rise from sorrow with quiet eyes,
knowing Thy way is wise.

God, make me brave --
Life brings such blinding things
Help me to keep my sight,
help me to see aright
that out of darkness
comes light.
===========
ARBONNE: Physical healing requires neutraceuticals; we can no longer get the nutrition we need from the food we eat, even "fresh" produce. We recommend Arbonne's DEFENSE BUILDER and GET WELL SOON DIETARY SUPPLEMENT, scientifically proven to nutritionally support the immune system. The immune system is our health, and our ONLY LINE OF DEFENSE AGAINST VIRUSES. Antibiotics can cure bacteria, but we have no known cure for a virus. Get proactive and build up your immune system now.

It's a good time to become an Arbonne consultant. Click HERE to register. Email for assistance.

Guys, are you looking for your dream girl on the Internet?

2005-11-22T19:48:00.000-08:00

LADIES, if you're Single for the Holidays and looking, I hope you have your Internet profile up-to-date. All reports from clients are that men are looking hard right now. Are they feeling lonely at the holidays? Are they getting prepared for the New Year? You be the judge, but check the sights you belong to often for news from guys, spruce up your profile, and enjoy the activity.

GENTLEMEN, we love it when you're out hunting, but not when you club us over the hair and try to drag us by our hair, knuckles dragging on the ground. Some words to the wise ...

THE TOP 10 ETIQUETTE RULES FOR ONLINE DATING (FOR MEN)or HOW NOT TO TURN OFF THE WOMAN OF YOUR DREAMS

Etiquette is about emotional intelligence - thinking about the other person and presenting your best self. All etiquette rules center around taking everyone into consideration, and making the other person comfortable, i.e., it isn’t all about you!

At the core level, however, it is totally about you. Rules of etiquette evolved to keep us from killing one another. For instance, as you know, the handshake has nothing to do with warmth and touching, that’s what hugs, frontal embraces, snuggling up next to someone, or putting your arm around them and pulling them toward you are all about. The handshake is extending your right hand, the hand that holds the weapon, toward the unknown individual, palm exposed, fingers spread, to show that you do not have a weapon in it. This gesture could preserve your life, as can all rules of etiquette. Gentleman, if you want to stay alive hunting on the Internet, here’s the recommended protocol.

You’re writing in order to attract a female, not to impress other guys with your prowess, or to stimulate yourself. Therefore you must write with what women like in mind. It’s been said that men are after sex, and women are after love. Since, of course, both are after both, let’s reframe that. Men lead with sex, and women lead with love. You know what sex is. Now we’ll break down what love is. Because to catch a rabbit, you must make like a carrot.

A person capable of loving, of giving love, must have values, integrity, sensitivity to the other (not to oneself alone, and not to an ideal), emotions deeper than lust, the ability to express and share them, consistency and reliability, and the ability to make a commitment and remain faithful.

That having been said, we proceed:

1. Lick your wounds in private or in the company of many women.

You aren’t ready to date exclusively until you’re over the last one. It's not nice to lead a woman on and you'll feel bad afterwards if you do, and who needs the guilt? If you’re just after a woman, any woman, don’t date one exclusively. This means, of course, that you don’t check “interested in marriage” on your profile.

If when you write your profile, it's full of self-pity, or things like “no addicts need apply,” or “I can’t stand a clingy woman,” you aren’t ready to date, you’re still living in the past.

No one in their right mind wants an addict or a clingy person, and to admit that you have been duped by one doesn't work in your favor. It is also not "being sensitive." Tell your therapist all about it, and then approach the dating world positively.
What you focus on, you attract!

2. To be a man is to know what you want, and to know how to get it.

Start with knowing whether you want to be on a dating site. There are plenty of adult and porn sites on the Internet. If that’s what you want, why would you be on a dating site?

3. Pole vaulting.

Emotional expression via words is no man’s forte, and the fact that this must be done in writing raises the bar yet another notch. A single coaching session can bring a strong ROI. You’ll get facts, clarity, and a well-written profile that will bring the results you want. Grammar and spelling are important because that’s the way women are!

We recommend women take a look at men’s magazines to see what words trigger response from men. I would recommend you look at women’s magazines to see what words make a woman receptive, but I can't see that happening, so just get a female coach.

4. She wants one man to meet all her needs.

While you want all women to meet your one need? Won’t work here. A good coach will make your profile individualized to you. The woman wants to see what you are like, how you are different, and what you have to offer her, as a unique individual. This requires work on your part, and this, too, is something women look for.

A woman wants to feel cherished, as if she's the only woman in the world for you. No mass emailings. Yes, she can tell. She has feminine intuition.

5. And you have gut instincts.

Gut instinct, and the ability to add one and one and come up with two. Gentlemen, if there were money in it, there would be a million porn sites for women, wouldn’t there?. Avoid that language. Don’t choose a nickname like “Horny in Howardsville.” On eHarmony, don’t send the “How do you feel about premarital sex?” question. Do not make references to your anatomy (or hers) and for heaven’s sake don’t send a photo of same or have a webcam experience in mind. You'll scare her off.

6. Women fall in love with their ears.

If you want to love more parts of her body than that, you have to start with words. This means paying attention to her words. Therefore, you must read her profile, sir, and respond to it, not just cruise through the photos. You must also actually read her emails.

7. Speak to god in Spanish, to your horse in German, to your men in French, and to woman in Italian. (Attributed to King Charles V)

It's music to their ears ... do you think it's because of all those vowels? At any rate, Italian opera has lasted longer than most things on earth, so check it out. It involves the other great tool of seduction, music. Music is great for stress reduction, and dating is stressful for men and women both. Music soothes the savage beast. When Orpheus needed the nasty Charon to row him over to Hades, what did he do? He sang him to sleep. You want to sing her defenses to sleep, so start learning how. Club Vivo Per Lei / I Live for Music will educate you, one sweet step at a time. Named after Andrea Bocelli's "Vivo Per Lei," a singer women love. He sang the duet, "Vivo Per Lei" with female singing stars from 5 different countries. He also happens to be blind, and you can't believe how tired we get of being queried about our appearance. Lately I've seen some progress ... men now write "It's okay if you're a little overweight." JUST SAY NO and skip all comments about weight. To the Italian, every woman is "bella," and, in fact, "you do not love her because she's beautiful, she's beautiful because you love her."

8. Don’t tell a man what to do.

We’re not trying to, we’re trying to sort out if you mean what you say. Be clear about what you want in terms of relationship and believe her when she says what she wants. If you’re not interested in marriage, and she is, don’t pursue her. Foul play!

Make sure your actions are true to you, as actions speak louder than words, especially when a woman is sizing up a man for a potential date or partner.

9. 90% of people on the sites admit to lying (said a recent survey).

Most often about age, however, weight, income, and marital status are also fair game, as well as anything else. Empathy may not be your strong suit, but think about it – what if you spend $1,000 to fly across the country to meet her, and it turns out her photo was 10 years and 50 lbs. ago? Don’t lie. It will come back to haunt you in the end, anyway.

10. Rejoice that dating websites are starting to feature live chat, live video and free VolP Broadband Long Distance.

Just be sure you’re dressed when you do it, tiger.

Check out my ebook, "Midlife Dating Survival Manual for Women".

JOIN CLUB VIVO PER LEI / I LIVE FOR MUSIC HERE. The right kind of music has health benefits important to men. Think it's for wusses? Listen to ..

NORMAN SCHWARTZKOPF, General, US Army, retired: "During the Gulf War, the few opportunities I had for relaxation I always listened to music, and it brought me great peace of mind."

EQ is about wellness.

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Last Minute Panic about the Thanksgiving Feast?

2005-11-21T00:52:00.000-08:00

Well, the big day is almost here! I just received an article through my list saying you should’ve had it all planned out 10 days before, and that’s past, of course, so – as a former giver of events, and a long-time hostess, chef and bottle-washer for the Thanksgiving Feast, let me help you out!

Be completely traditional. Having just attended several early Feasts at offices I visit, let me assure you, there’s nothing like it. Yes, that deep-fried turkey is great (so I’m told), and some Emeril creation is designer-impressive, but what people love is the same old traditional things, so here goes.

1. Get a frozen Butterball. You can’t beat it. Extensive directions on the label, and also on their website. Everyone wants to help you with your turkey!

2. Stuffing – well, in the south it will be cornbread, and in the north, white bread, but Pepperidge Farm sells them both in packets to which you add chicken broth (buy it in a can, or like I just did – in a box, free range chicken and fat free) . Start by sautéing 1 medium onion and 2 stalks of celery, cubed, in about 2 T. of butter. Then follow the directions on the bad, and add to the sautéed veggies. Add pecans or walnuts if you like, at the end, water chestnuts, whatever strikes your fancy. Raisins I’ve seen! (Plenty of recipes on the Internet.)

3. Mashed potatoes. With that great turkey gravy you can even get by with mashed potato flakes. I saw a woman in the office break room the other day mixing it up right there with nothing but a microwave, and they were great.

4. That green bean casserole. All it takes is opening cans – a can of mushroom sauce, a can of those French onion rings.

5. The pies? Many people buy them frozen, or from Marie Callenders or a caterer, but I encourage you to make your own. It’s a real treat. Pie crust is the easiest thing in the world if you use more shortening than is required, and make the 2-pie crust recipe for just one. Then you don’t have to worry about making the crust on the edges nice and high. Get a can of pumpkin pie mix with the evaporated milk. Grocery stores now batch these items so you don’t have to hunt. For the crust, use the extra dough. Roll it out again and use a cookie cutter to cut out some shapes and place them on top – I use fall leaves!

6. Buy two pints of whipping cream and make your own. Makes all the difference. Recipe on carton. All you need is an electric mixer. Use vanilla in it, nothing else. Far, far better than cool whip. It's those touches that make the difference in your meal.

And now, my two favorite recipes for the sweet potatoes, or yams as they’re called in the south.

SUSAN’S SWEET POTATO CASSEROLE

Bake 3 large yams in the oven at 350 till tender. Test with a knife. When it goes through without resistance, they’re done.

Mash with 4 T. butter, ¾ C. brown sugar, and a dash of cinnamon. Put into a greased casserole. Put marshmallows all over the top. Put back in the oven at serving time until marshmallows are brown, and casserole is heated. You can add raisins and nuts if you like – about ½ cup of each should do it, but we like it plain.

And the piece de resistance (the best part) my Special Topping for Apple Pie. I should add that I fix pumpkin and mincemeat pies, but this apple pie is the one that everyone eats. Instead of putting regular crust on top sprinkle the following on top and bake the usual way.

APPLE PIE TOPPING

1/3 cup butter
¾ cup light brown sugar
¾ cup sifted flour

Cream butter till soft, blend in brown sugar. Mix in flour till mixture is crumbly. Sprinkle these crumbs over the top of the apples.

p.s. If the gravy panics you, I’d don’t recommend you buy the canned or packaged product. Rather shop around town for a caterer that sells it. It will be worth every cent. Likely it’s frozen and you can stop by tonight. If you need help, give me a call - 210-496-0678.

And don't leave out the most important ingredient -- the gratitude!
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Why Thanksgiving is the Best Holiday

2005-11-19T05:47:00.000-08:00

THE FEAST

"Why Thanksgiving Is Hands-Down The Best Holiday,"
BY Dave Lloyd

The Thanksgiving season is upon us and just a few days from now, most US citizens will be traveling too far on the worst travel day of the year, to see family they'd rather not spend an afternoon with and will likely see again in another month, and eating far more than they should of some of the best food they've ever tasted on what is a uniquely American holiday.

And while the cynics among us have hit a fever pitch with their decrying of the commercialization and corporate marketing rollouts that have been growing in waves for the last decades, it remains that Thanksgiving is a top holiday for many US
citizens.

Of the Big Five, (Easter and July 4th plus the fall triumvirate of Halloween, Christmas, and Thanksgiving) was there ever a question. The three main reasons - least commercialized, most bang for the buck, and one of the 3 times of real Reflection all year. Thanksgiving falls right in the middle of the peak shopping season and therefore can't escape being part of the marketing blitz. In fact, the day after Thanksgiving is always one of the busiest shopping days of the year.

However, the day of Thanksgiving itself has remained largely untouched by Madison Avenue, except for the necessary foodstuffs, in comparison to Easter, Fourth of july, and certainly Halloween and Christmas. Easter and Christmas marketing efforts are weeks long in preparation and fireworks spending is also remaining strong. And Halloween is a short-lived holiday that many kids look forward to, but parents dread - not only for the candy that remains but the late dark night and weeks of
candy-grubbing afterward.

Thanksgiving, though, has remained true to it's roots - a time to be with loved ones, eat good food, and travel as much as you visit. As far as bang for the buck, though, nothing beats it. While many begin turkey preparations up to a week ahead of
time, the overall preparation is simple. Just show up and start eating. I mean, you've got to eat anyway on the last Thursday of November. But you certainly don't have to look for eggs, light dynamite on fire, buy 10x too much candy, or do everything people do around Christmas - yet we all do it.

Thanksgiving has stayed true to its origins and provided much satisfaction for a relatively easy investment of time, money, and effort. And even if you are the host or cook for the year, other family are always willing to chip in.

Finally, Thanksgiving truly is a time to sit back and consider what you have to be grateful for. In fact, many families include a time around the dinner table to talk about what they have and are grateful to have. And besides one's birthday and New Year's Day, there is no other specific time during the year when everyone is reflecting collectively. So while the shopping season will hit it's fever pitch shortly after Thanksgiving and many will start stressing out over the few pounds, consumer spending, and family interactions they'll take over the next month, Thanksgiving will still remain the Last Great Holiday.

About the Athor: Dave Lloyd has developed http://www.thanksgivingdinner.info to provide Thanksgiving lovers, children doing Thanksgiving research projects, and
turkey, pumpkin pie, mashed potato, and cranberry sauce recipe seekers with a quick way to find the information they need. See http://www.thanksgivingdinner.info for information.
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I love Thanksgiving because the focus is on gratitude. In the field of emotional intelligence, which is about WELLNESS, there is little that can help us as much as an attitude of gratitude. If you are alone and would rather not be, do try and focus on all the things you have to be grateful for -- small and large.

I think it's very fitting that here is one of the things I'm always immediately grateful for about Thanksgiving: as the cook, hostess, and someone who also presented banquets and festivities when in the field of public relations, the Thanksgiving dinner -- unless you decide to make it something else -- is one of the easiest meals to prepare there is. The turkey in the oven takes a nice long time to cook so you can be doing other things, and the smell is divine. Practically everything can be done ahead of time with only the gravy being last minute. It's a meal the cook can cook and also spend lots of time with the folks, enjoying the day and even resting!

If you're feeling low, sit down and make a list of all the things you have to be grateful here. Enough food to eat and a roof over your head. The chance to gather with friends, even though there are people you miss, and maybe even one special person. Not having to cook (or getting to). A nice long weekend off from work, and don't forget to be grateful for work, with all the people unemployed in the US. That you don't live in the hurricane-zone and/or being grateful that you were able to help the victims of the hurricane. For beautiful music to listen to and a fire in the fireplace. For your children, parents, and other loved ones. And for the blessings that will come this year!

FOOD IS SUPPOSED TO GIVE US NUTRITION. Does it?

While we're talking about the feast, it's a time to think about nutrition. We all know we aren't getting the vitamins, minerals and supplements we need any more from our food, no matter what or how much we eat. Are you taking a good dietary supplement? ARBONNE has several excellent ones, well-researched to provide what you need for healthy living, with pure inredients. Check them out. I recommend DefenseBuilder and Get Well Soon Dietary Supplement.

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Thanksgiving and the Single Person

2005-11-18T11:24:00.000-08:00

WELL-KEPT SECRETS ABOUT THANKSGIVING AND THE SINGLE PERSON

Did you know that more than 47% of US households are headed by unmarried individuals? The American Association for Single People projects this figure will continue to rise in the coming decade. Therefore, if you are single you are not alone. And … if you have single adults in your social circle, don’t assume alone means “lonely.”

As Thanksgiving approaches and we start making holiday plans, here are some things to keep in mind.

Perception: That it’s terrible to be alone for the holidays.
Reality: This is mostly a projection of married people who fear the unknown or could not tolerate being alone before they were married. The reality is that single people who observe what goes on at holiday get-togethers between couples, 50% of whom are destined to be divorced at some point, think there are worse things than being single.

Perception: That single people are desperate to be invited over for Thanksgiving dinner.
Reality: Single people have myriad options and no one to consult. I can go on a cruise, stay home in my bathrobe and declare it a non-holiday, do meaningful volunteer work at the homeless shelter, invite friends over, or get a dinner reservation at a hotel. Or I can accept any one of the numerous invitations I get. Contrary to what you might think, we single people are popular at the holidays. Most of us have accomplished social skills and are welcome additions at holiday gatherings

Perception: Single people don’t know what to do for holidays.
Reality: We’re used to planning our social lives actively, good at generating options, used to making unilateral decisions, and accomplished “mixers.” We’re pros!

Perception: Anyone who’s single is fair-game to perform certain social tasks during the holiday celebration.
Reality: We like to be cherished guests, just like everyone else. “Can you come for Thanksgiving dinner. I need some help with Aunt Edna?” is not an invitation. If your family doesn’t get along and you’re inviting the single person to “throw a steer in with the bulls,” that’s not nice either. It’s your problem; solve it yourself.

Perception: Single people are available to do certain physical tasks.
Reality: This isn’t an invitation either: “Can you come over early and help out in the kitchen. I’ve got my hands full.” What about her husband? Her sisters? As best-friend, yes; as the only working-guest, absolutely not.

Perception: That the only "happy" way to spend the holidays is if you are a
couple or part of a family.
Reality: If that were so, half the articles on the Internet this time of year wouldn't be about how to cope with family at the annual holiday get-togethers.

Perception: That single people are miserable during the holidays.
Reality: Yes, it can be difficult if it’s their first Thanksgiving after a divorce or after a spouse has died, but the majority of single people are no more miserable than anyone else, and perhaps less so. Since being single (with grown children), I’ve had the same levels of pleasure, the same good and better holidays, but there’s one thing for sure – I’m more rested, and that in itself goes a long way.

So if you’re thinking about including a single person in your family gathering, make sure it’s because you want them there, not to fulfill a function or because you think they’d be miserable if it weren’t for your invitation. A guest is a guest, whether they’re single or married, and good manners prevail.
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How to Teach Your Child Gratitude

2005-11-17T20:26:00.000-08:00

HOW TO TEACH YOUR CHILD TO BE GRATEFUL

The holidays are approaching. Another year has blown by. Our children have grown miraculously before our eyes. As the Thanksgiving holiday approaches, we pause to reflect on our blessings - what we're thankful for. For many of us, we struggle with the concept of blessings as it requires that we take a long hard look at our lives and acknowledge our strengths, as well as our struggles.

As adults, we have the emotional maturity to engage in quiet introspection. Children, however, require mentoring around the abstract concepts of giving thanks and acknowledging the bounty in their lives. Though difficult to communicate in terms that children, especially young children, can understand, it is essential to provide guided introspection around the holidays so that children learn these valuable skills and can begin to appreciate how different our lives would be without good health, love, and family.

Some children will not have the maturity to understand introspection and reflection but they can be taught that “bounty” or “plenty” does not refer to material things.

Meet Tom:

Tom is 6 yrs old. His mom and dad separated 4 months ago. This will his first big holiday with his parents living apart. Tom lives all week with his mom and his dog Charlie. He goes to his dad’s every other weekend.

During a recent visit with his father, Tom awoke several times during the night – on both Friday and Saturday. Dad shared the change in Tom’s sleep pattern with mom and both agreed to watch Tom to determine if it was a temporary change or an indication of a deeper problem.

Tom continued his nighttime awakenings over the next 10 days and exhaustion was catching up with him. Mom received reports back from school that Tom exhibited uncharacteristic behavior. Formerly a bright and sunny child, he seemed more irritable and moody.

Uncertain how to handle the change, they called upon expert help. After several discussions with Tom and his parents, it was clear that Tom was reacting to having his family split for the first time during a holiday.

His parents were educated on how to show Tom to see change in a way that would be more accepting. They were also taught the value of the concepts of thankfulness and plenty as a tool to accept change.

Together they worked to instill these values in their son, showing Tom that having plenty did not mean having all the coolest toys, that the things that matter are family, good health, and feelings. Tom was guided to change his perception of his parent’s separation and focus on their abundance of love for him rather than on the fact that they did not live together. He was shown how to be thankful for his family and all that they shared. As Tom began to understand the true meaning of what it means to be thankful, his nighttime awakenings stopped.

This holiday season, keep in mind the following tips:

1. Awareness: Of those things that are plentiful in your life

2. Teach: Your children the concept of plenty in terms of non-material stuff.

3. Strengthen: ways to draw upon the bounty in your life and build upon it.

Dr. Charles Sophy, Beverly Hills, CA, USA dr_charles_sophy@yahoo.com. Dr. Charles Sophy currently serves as Medical Director for the Los Angeles County Department of Children and Family Services (DCFS), which is responsible for the health, safety and welfare of nearly 40,000 foster children. He also has a private psychiatry practice in Beverly Hills, California. Dr. Sophy has lectured extensively and is an Associate Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at the University of California Los Angeles Neuro-Psychiatric Institute. His lectures and teachings are consistently ranked as among the best by those in attendance. Dr. Charles Sophy, author of the “Keep ‘Em Off My Couch” blog, provides real simple answers for solving life’s biggest problems. He specializes in improving the mental health of children. To contact Dr. Sophy, visit his blog at http://drsophy.com.

This article doesn't go into the how-tos. To learn real examples of what exactly to do, read my ebook "How to Develop Your Child's EQ."
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